I got ghosted by my own son

[Anonymous]

I got ghosted by my son.

I couldn't believe it when the realization first hit me. I never got ghosted my whole life and I didn't even know what ghosting was, it was a friend who broke the news to me.

How could that happen?

I admit we have had moments of distance and I haven't been always very active with him but I always loved him and worked hard for him, his father ran away before he was born so it was almost always just me and him. He moved out when he was 18 and it was a bad moment for me so I was kinda happy to have our apartment for myself.

We kept contact on and off for three years then we had some distance, but we resumed contact last year and things were well... until the Covid pandemic hit our area.

He dropped off the radar for a week and I wasn't concerned, it wasn't the first time after all.

After that week I reached out "Hi babe how are u?" and I got no answer. I let two days pass, maybe he was busy. I got worried he might have caught the 'rona as news about contagion spiked and maybe he wasn't answering because he was in hospital?

I texted "hey I'm getting worried now... you aren't sick are you" after thirty minutes he answered "I'm fine, tyl " . I was so happy & relieved "Thank goodness! Later xoxoxo"

The day passed. Then another day passed. And then another day. And then a week.

I started feeling a little weird about this whole situation but I reached out yet again.

"Hey honey how you holding up?" no answer. After two hours I saw he had seen my text but he still didn't answer. I started getting doubts he was ignoring me on purpose but maybe he was just busy?

I texted again "Hey, you always quiet... is all right?" no answer. He saw the message but didn't answer. ":("

I cut the chase and called him. He never wanted for me to call him but I was getting really agitated and couldn't keep quiet anymore... he didn't answer. I called again, no answer.

Frantically with my heart sinking down I texted again "Hey what's happening? Why you hiding from me?" and again "I just want to talk I'm your mother you can't ignore me!"

I wasn't angry, I was desperate. I started thinking and question myself about what I did wrong to him to deserve this treatment. I asked him and got no answer "What did I mess up this time? What did I go wrong? Please answer me... I love you xoxoxo" he answered almost instantly "Don't worry u alright tyl".

I wasn't relieved in the least, this wasn't a reassurance but felt like a dismissing... and those are the last words he has said to me in five months. I kept texting him and no answer. Phone quiet. I went over to his place and rang but he never opened the door. Nobody was home. Or he was home and kept quiet.

I left a note, "Please honey whatever it is we can talk about it... call me, I love you and want to be with you, love Mom xoxoxo"

The note got ignored, I got no call or text. I texted again but he stopped visualizing my messages. He then unfriended me on Facebook some weeks later. This was another stab in the heart for me.

My friend told me clear - he's ghosting you -. I was flabberghasted and then it sank in, my son was ignoring me on purpose.

I stopped reaching out. I work, go home, watch TV or sleep on the couch. Sometimes I cry and eat my fingernails.

I don't know what else to say, I don't know what to do. You can find anotherman but you can't find another son.

[I-C3_ME]

Ok, i saw this post and this is what i wanted to do to my mother when i was 18. Ditch her and my family and never look back.

For me it's not something she had done recently but i just didn't feel like i was apart of my family for many years and that's why i wanted to leave cuz everytime i saw her, it reminded me of what i couldn't have and i just got tired of it really quickly.

Not saying that this is the reason but it could be something similar.

Again with me, it's not that she didn't care for me financially or physically. But it was more that there is no emotional connection. Cuz she has a hard time expressing affection.

Like i said, this is not a fix. Just to offer you peace, it probably isn't personal if you don't know what caused it genuinely. We can't know the truth. If you did something you'll know, otherwise it's with him and all you can do is respect it.

I'm no father but i want to be, so i won't claim to know your hurting but it can't be a nice feeling. Just give it sometime and maybe he'll reach out. But i also think the more you try looking for him, the longer he'll stay away

[Misty503]

Your story was like mine (except mine was a lot of abuse) & I left & never looked back either. I always tell parents to be mindful of how they treat their kids & don’t get caught up in this all to often power trip “you belong to me, you live in MY house & will do as I say” type of mentality or even just treating them any less than you’d want to be treated because it does affect us & I literally ALWAYS say to parents that I know & who are driving a wedge between themselves & their child/children “Always remember that when your kids turn 18, which will happen in the blink of an eye, they no longer HAVE to keep contact with you, they don’t HAVE to call you anymore, ever, they don’t HAVE to check in with you anymore & they don’t HAVE to come home to you anymore, they don’t even HAVE to acknowledge that they know you, so be mindful of that as you’re raising them”

[I-C3_ME]

That could not have been easy, i hope your in a better place now, By the smile on your profile I'd say you are :)

[Apope16]

I think there is something you are not telling us. Why did your son ghost you? There has to be a reason why he did this. It is likely because you did something wrong.

If you did nothing wrong then I would say it might be pretty serious like drug related or something. If that is the case there is not much that you can do.

You should be patient and find peace within yourself. When your son comes back into you life treat him with gratefulness and joy. Give him all the love that you have.

I am not religious at all but I would invite you to read the story in the bible about the Prodigal Son. Luke 15:11-32.

I would advice you to act like the father in that situation.

[Anonymous]

You seem to have a rather strange fixation on your son. And I say that because you seem to have no concept that people have lives and harass him when he doesn't answer you immediately. Not to mention the context of your messaging is, in ways, rather inappropriate of mother to son.

I wonder if the cause for him "ghosting" you is a case of sexual molestation and if so he's more than justified... you on the other hand would need serious help & incarnation.

[pleasestopthis]

Give it time, there's nothing much you can do if your son wants you out. You already reached out to him, now you wait.
Hopefully he will be open to let the wounds heal, and you should be responsible for your own mistakes, in case you were lacking in your motherly attentions for your son.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Are you my mother by chance?
I'm sorry, but I can't be very sympathetic with you, you sound too much similar to my mother.
I think you did something to make him pull away, you just don't see it.

[dragoblack]

Dude, at least be constructive with your criticism. She be hurting

[Guy13]

Just goes to prove, Mom... Women of all ages and in all positions tend to emotionally bombard their men or boys. Reminders and an independent man are good for the soul.

[Unit1]

You can give birth to another son or adopt but yeah, that one is gone.

i moved away from my parents for my own safety and well being as they have failed to provide me with proper parental care. I do it myself now with money and being busy 24/7. The abuse is not something I'd tolerate. I rather be homeless than living with them under the same roof.

[zagor]

Maybe he'll get over it. My cousin's son got married and then had a falling out with his parents over religion or something and didn't speak to them for a couple years. They were devastated especially since the couple subsequently had their only grandkids. Eventually he re-established contact and things are OK again.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Kids are ruthless. Maybe there's something else going on in his life but he still should have time for his mama. You should set up a date where you two can talk because he might resent you over something.

[Celtero]

I ghosted my mother. She's a cunt and I've had dreams in which I try to kill her but the bitch won't die.

[worldscolide]

I ghosted on my mother when I was 16... Because she was an abusive bitch who cared more about being a prostitute and a drug addict than her own son.

[Iron_Man]

How old are you and how old is he? how come you don’t show an age I’ve never seen that before on here

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Did he move out of house by choice or you had forced him out?

[oncpl]

What else a mom can say who loves her son too much. I feel pain.

[Jmmmfi4]

You said it yourself, you haven't always been very active with him.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Me thinks something I missing from this story.

[Daniel_Dano]

Once he gets older he might get over it

[Anonymous]

Waiting on the rest of the story