Search Results: opinions on nice guys

Have an older male friend that I’ve known since 2010.. we were intimate 3 years ago for a few months. He’s what you’d call a “career bachelor”.. never been married.. longest relationship he’s had was 4 years.. but it ended badly.. as he put it.. so he’s largely claimed to be into casual/FWB BUT when other guys would be nice to me.. he’d act like it would bother him.. but then act like it didn’t.. last time it happened was around Christmas last year.
What confuses me is the fact that he’s largely been about wanting casual.. at least on the surface.. so not sure if this is male territorial.. jealousy.. caveman.. dog & fire hydrant so it’s been confusing. Just wondering if this behavior is game play.. or insecurity.. he’s also largely had a lot of women pay attention to him in part for $$ he can spend.. took me 8 years to get him to admit that there are some women who aren’t into men just for their money. I do care for him but this has been really confusing.. opinions would be great..

friendship with male friend for 9 years
brief intimacy in 2016 for 6 months
history of him being weird when other guys were nice to me but then he’d act like it didn’t bother him.. this happened during intimate period but also since.. most recent 9 months ago.
Ex: one of his friends tried to add me on Facebook. His reply?: who added who.. when I told him.. he said oh he didn’t tell me. Following year.. during holidays.. I ran into his friend at the mall and he gave me a hug.. said the three of us should hang out. At this point my friend was traveling abroad so communication was sparse but when they spoke.. he told his friend to “tell her I said hi and I’ve been trying to call her”.. which oddly came across as his way to tell his friend to “back off”.. or that’s how someone I know whose a guy told me that’s what it was.. ie dog and fire hydrant response. Just curious cause this has been confusing.. so opinions helpful.

Explain please... in what way, or ways, do you think this?

Maybe the girls can explain this even better! ... lol

If you do believe that, I will not judge you, I am not a radical feminist in any way, thus I am not trying to set a trap for you.

I can't speak for what others might say though, but I will not condemn you if you think you have a valid reason for thinking that way.

But, nor may I agree with you, depending on what aspects you bring up because I think there may be a couple of ways that woman are made to serve a man when we do it of our own free will, although maybe the word "serve" is not a good one because it gives the connotation of being a slave, which we are not.

Be nice and give us your opinion... PLEASE?

Spent a nice afternoon with a guy I’ve known for almost 10 years.. at the water near my house. We’d been intimate a few years ago before he moved.. but visits since have largely just been friendly. He did have a history of acting weird about other guys being nice to me before and after he moved.
When we went to the water.. he’d told me to bring my bikini and towels. I told him I had to get a new one so when I went to buy it.. he offered to buy it. When we got to the lake.. it was warm and he sprayed some lotion on my back. Not before he’d said oh nice when he saw my bikini bottoms. When he sprayed the lotion on my back.. he massaged the area and proceeded to my legs. It’s been long enough that I didn’t want to misread this as flirt.. I do care for him as a friend a great deal.. but it there is a part of me that enjoys his company like that. Opinions helpful.
I made a joke about gaining weight in my butt and he chuckled and said I can see that before he smacked my butt a couple times. When we went into the water.. he splashed me a few times. Just curious if I should take this as a friendly visit between friends or his way to show he’s still interested/flirt.

Opinions helpful

ex: guy friend who claims to be casual about relationships. Is intimate with female friend and has issues with other guys being nice to her.. both while they were intimate and after they hadn’t been. Does that sense of possessive stick around once there?

Friendly visit with friend that I’ve known since 2010.. he was in town and he invited me to the lake and said to bring my bikini. It was warm and he had sunscreen so he offered to spray some on my back.. and give me a massage.
He started at my neck.. down my back.. to my legs.. when he sprayed lotion near my inner thigh I mentioned that it tickled when he heard me giggle so he sprayed me two more times. I’d also put on some extra weight and I joked that most of it had went to my butt.
He said I can see that and patted me on the butt a couple times.
We were briefly intimate in 2016 before he moved away. He’d been weird about other guys being nice to me before he moved and then even after.. up until recently.
This is the first time he’s engaged in any form of PDA so trying to figure out how I should take this.. flirt?
Friendly gesture? He dropped me off at home he offered to give me a hug and put his arms around my lower back.. any opinions helpful 🙂