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My boyfriend told me about a situation and I'm having trouble seeing it from his perspective. I'd appreciate your feedback.

He says a woman "took advantage" of him. In the past, when he was with another woman, he was friends with a woman who he admits he was attracted to. His girlfriend was on tour at the time, so out of town. He says he had one drink at a party and felt messed up. He says he may have been drugged.

He says he went to his friend's house because he was "scared". He said he doesn't remember anything else. The next morning, she said "you were so out of it, I had to drink a bunch to not feel like I was taking advantage of you". He freaks out and says she raped him. His girlfriend I guess believed him because they moved on (he went on to sleep with 2 more women during their monogamous relationship). No one else believed it was rape. Their mutual friends saw it from her perspective (she felt humped and dumped).

First of all, I believe men can be sexually assaulted by women (inappropriate touching, sexually exploited, etc). I don't think men are animals. BUT in this case, why did he show up at HER place? And she didn't feed him booze and drugs. How is she held responsible? If a guy I really liked who also flirted with me made a move on me when he was drunk, I wouldn't think he was in a vulnerable state.

He has acquainted the situation to a male friend of mine trying to penetrate me in my sleep. This man and I had no romantic history. There was no suggestion of romance. I was visiting from out of town and stayed over. When I woke up to him on top of me, I left and wandered the streets of New York in shock (and almost jumped on the subway tracks, I was in such a state).

Did this woman take advantage of him? Did we experience something similar? Am I being a dick? My emotional response is FUCK THAT! HE'S A CHEAT AND BLAMES THIS WOMAN 😡 but maybe I'm missing something... or it's not rape and I'm so pissed he would compare our experiences. Thoughts?

( hypothetical no need to give advice 😊)

So miss so and so really likes you and you like her. Caveat- she was brought up forbidden any contact whatsoever with men, therefore lacks any heretofore experience esp of the romantic nature.

When she was 17 there was a crisis and her family moved away. She remained with distant relatives willing to help. She is free to date and intersted in sex , but not remotely ready. You like each other very much. She does not want to date atm bc she feels it is too much pressure on her to be ready for everything and or pressure on you to wait. She does not want to destroy the friendship with potential confusion and resentment. She encourages you to see others but there is no other you want to date , bc you want bc you want to date her. You have a bad case of ONEITUS 🤷‍♀️

You Guys stay friends while you secretly hope she will soon change her mind. You spend a lot of time together and one day she tells you she wants to sleep next to you.. She thinks it will be very special for her. She is sure you will soon find someone you want to date who is ready to date, and this will no longer be an acceptable activity. She is convinced she will not feel the same for anyone else as she does for you , so this experience is important to her and she is anxious to do it now, while you are free and there is the opportunity.

She realizes you may not be excited about the prospect , so accepts she is asking you for a favor. She realizes it may physically be difficult for you , as you are extraordinarily attracted to her.

While she has no previous experience with any part of the male anatomy, she suggests you teach her how to give a HJ. This aI can do that each night that you stay Over before you lay down so as to circumvent any accurate date energy , you will be able to rest and hold her peacefully whilst being undisturbed by lust..

Would you agree to it in the first Place?

Would you Be more likely to do it WITH a HJ or WITHOUT a HJ?

TX🌹