Bad guys make moves and fake niceness! Good guys have patience!

Bad guys make moves and fake niceness! Good guys have patience!

Each nice, sweet decent guy I've dated, I had to make all the first moves.

Both my long term boyfriends, I approached. They were very receptive and it went really well.

Then somewhere down the line after breaking up with my last boyfriend I guess I forgot. I stopped making moves, it had been so long since I was single after all.

And I keep wondering why I'm attracting cheaters, players and liars now. Like did something about me change? These guys come off all nice in the beginning and then it turns out they are dating 4 other people or have a wife or some other terrible thing.

But now I get it, the only guys who approach me, no matter how sweet they seem at first are all "bad" guys. It's like only the bad ones have the balls to approach me. And I'd forgot that I found the good ones that I did by going for them (non-aggressively) and not waiting around hoping they'll make a move.

I thought I was being "girly" by letting guys take the reigns but that's never been how I catch the good ones! It's been two years of all the worst guys, being single and I'm taking the reigns back to find an honest nice guy who treats me like a human being.

I let a really good one go by just hoping he'd ask me out. We flirted all the time. He's shy and he always had a big smile to share with me and we always had the best conversations, laughs and eye contact, I was such a dumby for not asking him out!! I know from his friend that he liked me, now that it's too late and he moved.

It's like all the douchebags swoop in and compliment and fake their way into a girl's life because they have an ego big enough to do it and all the normal decent guys who are actually nice don't because their egos aren't so inflated that they need to blatantly go around seducing whatever woman. They don't need it but they'd like it and they'd do it properly!

I'm excited now that I've figured this out. Go get yourself a good one ladies!


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lol what a crock of shit.

    All the millions of fuckbois out there that worm their way into plenty of girl's pussies deserve each other. Because the only women that are naive enough to ride cheap dick are low esteemed girls themselves.

    Now take a big strong man like me...

    I've never been labelled a fuckboi or man-slut or whatever. But I'm a genuinely confident guy and as result, been through a lot of women already, relative to my age.

    As a result, I'm the kinda guy that despite apparently having been seen as attractive by a lot women, they'll *RARELY* approach me. So unless I'm a confident, "egotistical asshole", seldom would I ever actually meet women...

    And here's the sugar on top - because I'm *genuinely* confident and not a faking fuckboi, a lot these gals that I have approached simply couldn't handle me.

    So...

    You should rethink your own life experiences.

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  • Bad boy's are not actually bad they are too rich or too strong, or have enough confident. Good guys mainly stay out of the groups where there are girls.
    We think like, that it's uncool to tease some girl or just to talk.
    And many of us are just to chicken to talk to girls, not like you girls are monster or something. But sometimes they are miss treated so they loose there confident to just talk.
    Some girls also even tease them which makes them completely miserable and broken.
    And there are some girls who talk to them but it's mostly something like assignment or homework related,
    You can always see they lend their own books for that matter

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    • DM me to know more

    • Show All
    • I came here just to learn how I can ask a girl out on a date 😂 haven't been on a date and I have never been in a relationship...😂😂

    • I completely agree with you

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've only ever dated and slept with one guy, and I tested him before I ever slept with him or dated him. First date I didn't kiss him. Second date he admittedly stole one from me. A few days later I took a shower with him to see how he would react/behave to being near me with both of us naked in a steamy, hot, wet environment. He behaved like a perfect gentleman. Then I slept with him. Turns out he wanted to stick around after that. We kept going on dates, hanging out, sleeping together. A week after that we were officially dating. The right guy will wait, the right guy won't just grab at you first chance he gets

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  • True. The nice guys just need a boost of confidence by having the girls approach them. But most people disagree for some reason. They think nice guys are hiding their evil side that's ready to explode.

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  • No, good guys are boring as hell.
    And nice guys are fake.

    Ya got the right idea, but confused about what truly attracts. A strong desirable guy is gonna have an ego - comes with the territory. Don't figure you're gonna be his boss, or his mother, and you're not gonna FIX him, also known as 'change him'. Ain't happenin'. :)

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  • You need to just find a guy who has worked on becoming his best self. A guy needs to be confident, its about a balance of caring about you and caring about himself. Everyone needs to be a little selfish but also care about others.

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  • 'bad' guys have a take it or leave it attitude, nice guys are the ones faking it

    Just so you know

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    • i am not talking about "nice guys" i said "good guys" just honest guys (the noncheaters, nonplayers - just regualr decent humans) who actually treat you like people

    • My mistake

  • You've also forgotten about another category. The good guys that have plenty of balls, but that no longer approach or get into relationships.

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    • @smg99 We have one life, and that life must be stress free, peaceful, enjoyable, calm, healthy and of increasing consciousness. Relationships and approaching rarely, if ever bring such qualities, or enhance them. Certainly not enough to be worth the time or effort.

    • At some point I agree I hate compromising and being told what to wear or do

  • yes, please go rescue some nice guys! It's pretty much true. The problem will be actually being attracted, but some girls can do it and it fits their emotional profile. I'd guess most cannot.

    The guys who are nice, and will rub your feet and shoulders, dont' have the skills and confidence. I've seen lots of nice guys out here who are getting shot to pieces by women and have given up. One guy was a nurse, lost track of him, I think he gave up. It's really sad and it isn't just that they don't approach, they do approach women and they are being shot down.

    you'll have training to do with those guys as they need emotional development in confidence. the other guys can fake and hide their insecurities long enough.

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  • Yeah, obviously the guy who hits on you non stop doesn't actually care about you because he doesn't care if he is rejected because you don't matter. I don't think you need to ask the guy out, but you know, do something (which I never see women do to be honest, they only respond after some one else initiates the overwhelming majority of the time). Also nice guys don't want to make you uncomfortable or get accused of being a creep so you know, since women are jumping the gun on these judgment its definitely deterring good men from hitting on them (leaving only the narcassists who don't give a damn what you think hitting on you).

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  • The good ones are too food too opinionated and damn mentally slow. They won’t approach but judge you they annoy me to no end.

    Bad boys might seem egotistical too direct but they too have come from past pain or perceived pain.
    In the end it’s you women doing all the housework, sexual gratification and cooking.
    It’s how long that magic lasts that is relative.
    How do you know if a so called good guy is so patient he leads parallel lives? Any guarantee?

    They maybe stone walling you until something more their type or fascination comes.
    They will pull the rug under your feet. You can answer why your quest with the good guys ended and now you are being pursued by the bad ones?

    You answer my questions to you already in your narrative.

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    • HA HA HA! Well enjoy being treated like shit. Seriously? They come from a past of pain? Yeah, I just got done talking to those types of guys last night, they treat women like yourself like shit because as they put it, that's what they want, that's what keeps them interested and that's what gets them laid. But you keep on with the delusion that your special and you can help "heal" their wounded soul.

    • I think you’re definitely stupid because you can’t think long term in time.
      Let you enjoy your opinion and let me ask you why your good guys became your exes?

      Didn’t they value you enough?
      Why even are you under the guise of a male profile and are you gay?
      Must be so definitely something is awry? Cowardice perhaps?

      You may never learn and that can be your agenda but I believe in risks and you never know what the future holds do you?
      If you did you wouldn’t be an ex flame or partner to your so called good guys?
      Why because now you are blaming yourself as they projected the blame on someone as co dependent and foolish in your ways!

      A lot of psychology based terms can come to mind in describing your experience and narrative.

      So far I have always been around your so called bad boys , and to be honest they are not as you describe.
      It takes detachment and maturity to not pine your hopes in a guy but to be yourself in a relationship or with someone.

      Maybe you are clingy? Desperate? A loser with no life but to pine on a partner and was treated like shit by all men?

      Those possibilities might be applicable to someone who generalizes to begin with.

    • Also if you talked to them let’s say it’s a 2 way street I neither care for them and I just am there for fun , and so are they.

      I’ve never missed a man who cares a dime a dozen like chicken feed.
      Hell I won’t even care my stupid boyfriend who is a journalist got stuck in a violent country.

      Well that’s his stupidity I’m not offering any help I’d rather let him go than to give anything as financial help.
      No money leaves my hand for no one but my family.

      No family no money get lost.
      I’m far more unforgiving and unmerciful in real than your stupid examples of ‘ill treatment’.

      I didn’t even care to ask about him after that.
      What should that tell someone as stupid and fixated on emotions?
      That certain women can go through life and be intelligent enough to make decisions about who is worth pining for rather what is worth protecting.

      This tirade of yours suits the weak minded who hold hopes on a guys treatment of them.

      The retarded type who stand up to be beaten down repeatedly with no rational thought process.

      Those who are co dependent after years of or even weeks of emotional abuse and disregard.

      Don’t count me in I know where to cut my losses and preserve myself.

      Maybe instead of wasting your time talking you might want to find ways to earn a name or something worthwhile?

  • Thank you for writing this I’m very shy with girls (hence my username) and I would really love it if a girl approached me!

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  • You should get on Reddit and see what sort of patience "nice guys" actually have

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  • You want actual nice guys to accept garbage quality ladies like you? Ummm... no thanks!

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    • What is garbage quality about her? Nothing it’s just that she generalized the classification. To be honest all guys can possess whoring around qualities when the time is around or the opportunity presents itself.

      People are people we only started these personality classifications as we evolved.

  • So many words.. I'm just gonna pick a random sentence and reply to that.. "I'm excited now that I've figured this out." Good job.

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  • Any sort of relationship is selfreflective. We don't get to know a person as who they are. But who we make them in our company.

    If you approach someone you start your relationship on a whole different base.

    You cannot expect two people to act the same in two different scenarios.

    When I get approached by a girl I am always nice, because of the opportunity for easy access for sex. I am not proud of it and it isn't good, but this is how the chemicals work in my body. Now front of my phone I can see this clearly, but when sex gets involved it isn't the same. It is easy to be nice to someone who likes me than to someone who I have to "work for".

    Outcome/invested effort=motivation

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  • Nice guys are FAKE

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    • i was very careful when writing to never say "nice" guys. i said "good" guys. the guys who are actually good people - caring and sweet. i've dated them. they exist and are real

  • Oh all the Nice Guys (tm) are gonna love you

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  • Good take..

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  • Nice!

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  • did you ever ask for his number from his friend?

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  • I agree with with you 100%

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  • Good guys finish last.

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  • Sounds about right;

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  • Most confidence comes from indifference to consequences and assholes don't care about you. They are very closely related, so naturally as a general rule the more bold a guy is the more likely he is to be an asshole.

    The lines blur though since as you know many women refusing to take initiative. So given that reality, what's a guy to do? He feels forced into acting more confident and taking risks, so you get good guys wearing that mask in order to appease women.

    "It's like all the douchebags swoop in and compliment and fake their way into a girl's life because they have an ego big enough to do it and all the normal decent guys who are actually nice don't because their egos aren't so inflated that they need to blatantly go around seducing whatever woman."
    Let's not go polarizing them, that's over-simplifying. As I've said, the lines blur.

    "They don't need it but they'd like it and they'd do it properly!"
    I think they all need to in general, even if to varying degrees. Almost all of them don't take action because they're concerned about what to say, making a good impression, not making it awkward, not having her turn around and all him a creep for something innocuous. It's a rare moment of courage that makes him throw out a compliment or ask someone out, or he see something bold on her part e. g her asking him out, that will get him to open up.

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  • Your title is absolutely true.

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