Search Results: why is there no way to explain how she makes me feel

Over the years, I've been looking online for answers as to "why" I keep getting rejected, because no matter what I try, it just doesn't work. About a year ago, I said I'd just focus on school and not worry at all about girls at all after being rejected by a girl who seemed to be interested but apparently wasn't. So here comes this girl that at first I barely noticed, but I learn over time that we're a lot alike (my opinion) and from spending so much time with her, so many classes together, even hanging out a few times for several hours at a time, I start to develop feelings for her. Smart, sarcastic, kind-hearted, tough, selfless, cute. Special. Amazing. I'd then ask her out twice, and she'd say "no" twice, all the while the bond between us getting a little stronger. We had a long talk last night, because over the school break, she not only blew me off to hang out, but got a boyfriend too. Light-hearted conversation got serious. I tried not to say much of what I wanted to, but she kept pushing me to tell her what was on my mind. So I told her how much she'd come to matter to me over the last year getting to know her. She explained to me why she would blow me off, but honestly, I already knew why. I was being hard-headed about the whole thing because I believe something whole-heartedly...that she doesn't. I still do. I told her she was my best friend at the school, and while she agreed that I was the same to her, that seems to be as far as she wants it to go. I could tell she felt bad, and I tried to explain that she shouldn't. I finally told her I'm never changing the way I feel about her, but that I just won't talk about it anymore. I guess we're still friends because we went right back to talking the way we used to.

Even so, I didn't think a rejection could hurt as much as this one does, especially since that's all I ever seem to get. But avoiding her didn't seem to make sense to me, because this school is way too small, and the only way not to be near her would be to drop out. It hurts so much because the older I get, with every new rejection, it seems like God's screwing with me, and the only thing I REALLY want in life--a wife and some kids--I can't have it. Now, there's this absolutely spectacular girl that I have to have classes with that I can never be with, but can't avoid either. It's infuriating and depressing, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

People like me just fine, but girls NEVER like me "that way", and they never even give me a chance. I AM venting, because I don't know where else to go with these feelings but here. What would you do if you were me?