Search Results: attractive guy and unattractive girls

Some backstory: I find very few people in general to be attractive (speaking strictly about physical appearances). So I often don't date. Instead I sit back and learn about people over time. Some people are cute when I meet them and seem less attractive over time. Others seem to become more attractive. Those that are cute at first tend to be pretty great people then I get comfortable with their personalities and I kinda just decide to stick around and keep trying often times reluctantly. Those that aren't cute at first tend to become more attractive as I learn more about them but I always find myself fighting to get over some physical attribute of theirs. As I get older I see less and less people as physically attractive and I feel more guilty about even caring about physical appearances.

However on the other side of the coin when I ignore physical appearance altogether almost everyone seems to be a pretty okay person to be around with both attractive and unattractive personality traits. Everyone feels kinda the same. It's the little push from the physical attraction that makes a person stand out to me or the physical attraction tends to follow pretty quickly after I learn about something attractive, personality-wise, about them.

So is it a good decision to follow my instincts even though I know they're shallow? As a (mostly?) heterosexual guy with a lot of female friends it makes me feel like a shitty person for not wanting to be in a nonplatonic relationship with girls who are honestly pretty great but just not physically appealing to me. I feel like I'm being a selfish uncaring asshole. No one chose their body. It's admittedly a pretty unfair thing to judge people on. But at the same time without using physical attraction as a compass of sorts I end up leaving every girl I meet that's interested in me feeling like another fish in the sea rather than that special one out of 7 billion.

I mean what the actual fuck, I have a better bone structure than johnny depp, good eye area, facial ratios are close to ideal (eyes the right distance part, lower third, middle third, upper third all the same length), proportional nose and I mean I am indian but I don't even have the dirty hindu brown skin colour, i see med and latino guys darker skinned than me be considered attractive. So may I know why I am unattractive ALWAYS? I am sick of hearing this all the time
" ur not my type but i am sure some girl will like you"
like bitch, if i am ugly, say it directly and tell me why. When i ask why, this is what I get
"ur features are not soft enough, i like more feminine men"
"u look too feminine, i like more manly men"
"ur jaw and cheekbones look awkward"
one guy actually here told me my face was too symmetrical.
I don't even care for being hot and handsome anymore, i just want to be seen as a dating option to an average female which I am not.

If you treat a girl like she's worth more to you than anything or anyone else in the world, including yourself, then she's guaranteed to find you repugnant for treating her like that, and for making her feel valued by you. When you tell a girl that you love her more than life itself, that she's the most precious person in the world, that she's the most beautiful person in the world, that's she's smart and talented and amazing and incredible and all the rest of it... There's no easier or quicker way to turn any girl off sexually, lose her interest along with any hint of affection she might have had for you, and get ditched/rejected by her.

On the other hand, if you treat a girl like she's the least valuable thing in the world, worth less to you than nothing, then she's guaranteed to find you attractive for treating her like that, and for making her feel like you devalue her. Deny it all you want, girls, but it doesn't make it any more true. When you tell a girl that you don't give a fuck about her, what she wants or how she feels, tell her that she's a worthless cheap whore or slut who's good for nothing besides getting fucked by you, tell her that she's dumb and incompetent and worthless and lacking in all aspects... That's the definition of what dirty talk is. And that's what all guys have to do to get girls wet, to arouse them sexually and capture their affections.

Why is this? Why do girls universally find it so abhorrent and sexually unattractive for men to love them and value them, while finding it so desirable and sexually unattractive for men to hate them and devalue them?