Search Results: city or country girl

I met this girl, on a night train, when we both were traveling. During the train ride she showed geat interest in me: lots of questions, loots of prolonged eye contact (3s) and smiling, asks for my facebook, etc. We agreed to meet up, but since she was with her friends visiting my country, we ended up not meeting there.

Later, we agreed to meet each other in another country, which i planned to visit and where she was going alone.
In the first day we were ok, mostly in group with people from the hostel, she was warm to me but not nearly as interested as in the train, but i also did some mistakes... I arranged with her a plan for the next day, she agreed to it, but in the next morning she made up a lame excuse to flake and started acting cold to me...

Since then i stopped giving her attention and focused on going out to meet local girls. After this she changed her behavior, reengaging conversations with me, asking if i did meet any local girl, etc.. she even tried to make me jealous, flirting with another guy in hostel, where i could see.

The thing that bothered me the most is that, before leaving the city, we were with a small group talking, and i catched her staring at me, by the corner of my eye. I looked back at her, and she did look away very quickly. Now, i know this means she was unconfortable and that either she finds me repusive and did not want me to think she was interestested OR she was nervous that i catched her looking at me, and that shows at least some interest...

Ill probabily never see her again, but i can't take this doubt of my head! Why would she be looking at me after she rejected me and why would she look away like that?

In 2012 I met this great girl and we went out couple of times. I thought she liked me but I never made a move, since I was young , stupid and recovering from being cheated by my ex. didn't really trust women and just a thought of putting myself in a position where someone could hurt me again was terrifying. Not asking her out is something I regret very much.

But we stayed in contact and flirted a lot , but were never again in the same city, she helped me a lot during my depression. But 7 months ago her inconsistent responding started to irritate me and I was having a rough patch again and I did a stupid thing off blowing things out of proportion. I wanted her in my life, even just as a friend, but at times it seemed like a one way road and then something snapped in me, deciding , no more regrets! I admitted how I felt for her. And she told me she had a boyfriend and then I realised, I´m not her friend, I knew how relationships are important to her and she didn't tell me, I wasn't in her inner circle like she was in mine and that hurted and that conversation ended very ugly.

Today I´m great, I pulled all my shit together and I´m moving to a new city in a new country, fresh start, just what I need. But as my flight nears I can't stop thinking about this, I once let a bad thing from past influence me, I dont want it to happen again. I have this big need to end it well, to send her a text to thank her for helping me and that I´m sorry how it ended and explain why I behaved that way.

The only thing stoping me is;I dont want to wake ghost from the past. This would make ME feel better, but what impact would it have on her, is it selfish from me, to take it out off my system and out off nowhere just hit her with it?
I dont want to reconnect, I just... I just hate how it ended and she is and always will be very special to me, she helped me a lot with my fear regarding dating and getting cheated again.

So, should I do this or not?
thanks for reading I know it was a bit long