Search Results: how to get my confidence up

I have always dream of being a parent and raising my own kids.

However, recently... all I can think about is what type of parent I want to be. As an Asian, I grew up in a relatively strict household. I got scolded and beating but so far... I'm not sure if it has affected me as an adult.

I want to impact my kids positively... allowing them to grow up with freedom and confidence but also distinguishing what is wrong and right. Which method do you think is better?

I am only afraid that by being fierce (option A), it will make them feel insecure and rebellious or even growing up abusive and violent.

I follow approach B, it might not make such an impact and might raise them being complacent, thinking that by doing wrong... they might not be afraid of the consequence as I did not "punish" them enough. Or even growing up spoilt.

I want my kids to grow up being loved, having a lovely childhood and growing up well thought and groomed without emotional scars. Do you believe in caning or physical forms of punishment?

Growing up I had to learn not to care about how I looked. I was picked on from elementary through high school. Even if I wanted to dress nice, I'd get picked on for it. So, i wore jeans that didn't fit and sweaters or hoodies all the time. Eventually as emo became a thing, i went that route. Then as a young adult my confidence came from being a flirt. I'd go out dancing and flirt with guys who wanted to take me home. I never did because I was so insecure inside, but the invitation always gave me a boost. It was later in my twenties that I finally healed and matured from all of that insecurity. I'm not 100% over it all the time, but I'd say 90% of the time I'm secure in who I am and my personality that my body doesn't need to be given attention for my confidence.

What's your story/journey?