In a university project I did interviewing women between 16-30, and asking them how their ideally planned life would go, the answers I got were pretty unanimous: be successful yourself, and be with an even more successful man. Mostly phrased in 'rich hot guy' 'millionaire' is what they seem to have on their minds. From my own experience growing up in the 1%, and having a 'hot rich boyfriend' myself, I can promise you, it's probably not going to happen.
I would have advised them myself, only it's not socially acceptable to be telling girls what they should and shouldn't do in order to achieve their goal in a tough love manner. These girls talk about 'marrying a rich man' and not as a gold digger mind you - as a genuine relationship - and making that work, as if it's such an easy feat that any girl can achieve: *spoiler it's not.
I really want for people, young girls in particular to understand that this 'prince charming' dream isn't something that will just 'happen' to you. Not only must you make yourself into a high value person, you must also ensure that you are an individual who is ready and equipped to forge a healthy and fulfilling relationship. What follows is dating advice - sure - but I also hope: life advice.
Authenticity
This is a broad term, but at it's core you need to know who you are as a person, and have confidence in that. Don't force yourself or pretend to be something that you're not. This also requires a huge amount of honesty, with yourself and others. Don't like everything that everybody else likes simply to feel 'validated', likewise, don't disagree with everything everybody else likes simply for the purpose of being 'different'. It's impossible to have any relationship to any depth if you aren't 'yourself' - it's self sabotage if you constantly have to keep up this facade. This is honestly something I see a lot of women do. They try to maintain a 'perfect girlfriend' picture, even though it might be nice for awhile, it's not something you can keep up, these girls end up resenting their partner and lashing out. You're better off being honest and taking responsibility for your flaws from the start, if you have a temper for example, rather than pretending it's not there and forcing it down you ought to admit to it and apologise for it - then eventually you can overcome it.
Appearance
I won't deny the importance of your appearance when it comes to dating. I won't lie - it will definitely help your case if you are a natural beauty. There are many ways in which you can take care of yourself, making the most of you have naturally with makeup, taking care of your hair and nails, I mean today there really are countless ways you can make the most of yourself. Though, tread carefully - harsh contouring, sharpie eyebrows and claw like nails are not what I would call 'attractive' the point of taking care of your appearance is to draw attention to yourself - as an individual. The above trends are attractive to other women, not men, which is of course perfectly fine, however they do distract from yourself as a person. For example you go on a date looking pretty and elegant, and you are remembered for that and the excellent conversation, vs him not being able to remember anything you said because he couldn't keep is eyes off your neon yellow claws - and not in a good way.
The same is for dressing provocatively - it's fine, but there's a time and place for it. Can't tell you how many stories I've heard where a man takes a girl out, has her picked up from where she lives, chooses a lovely restaurant - and then she dresses really 'slutty' *nervous laugh. If you go to dinner with your boobs almost completely out, it's so eye grabbing and distracting, it again, distracts form you as a person. Think about it like a man with a six pack, when he talks to you, you find it really hard to look at his face.
So I suppose what I'm saying is, it's best to leave something to the imagination. You don't have to listen to me, you can really wear what you want, this is just advice if you want to give people a good impression of yourself. A good go-to is a tight or sheath dress that goes to just below the knee with heels, showing chest, but not harsh cleavage, short sleeved or thick strapped. If it's hot you can go with a sundress instead. (tip - good idea to have red somewhere, whether that be shoes, nails or dress.)
Some images to show you what I have in mind. As you can see all these are 'sexy' in some way or another, but none of these ladies are showing that much skin. To me I see the all white one is very stylish and fashionista, the pink is the most sexy because it has the bare arms and back that the others don't seeing as the length is too the knees it's still suitable. The beige shirt of one looks very relaxed and the cream dress I find very classic. Further down is an example of a dress if you want to show your legs. It's a high cut looser dress, but's it's length is very flirty and has bare arms.
Don't forget to look after your body too, you should get in regular exercise and watch your weight. You don't have to be obsessive and be going on juice cleanses, just be self aware and indulge 20% of the time, rather than 50% of the time. A good body is always a good sign, it means you take care of yourself. Studies have shown richer men like slimmer girls, prefer small/medium breasts to larger ones, butts that are proportionate and round. (no kim ks pls)
Personality
Honesty, loyalty and faithfulness were identified as the main qualities wanted. Begin a 'drama queen' is the least desirable. Present yourself as a reasonable, discerning person and you will always be respected. All relationships face their struggles to be honest, whilst you should be respecting, kind and forgiving, also don't be a doormat and bend over backwards to please others. Remember, you are responsible for how people treat you, if you teach people that you are a reasonable person who deserves to be treated with respect, that's how you will be treated (with a few exceptions). Whilst every person has a unique personality, often think that almost everyone in the world would benefit from a little extra patience and good listening skills.
Have grace and good manners
Manners are about making others feel comfortable. A lady always considers those around her. Grace is mostly about self respect. Things you shouldn't do : talk negatively behind someone's back, alienate the women around you, have an air of superiority, be overly assertive in a field you don't understand, interrupt other people, have your phone anywhere near you. This is important ladies and gentleman. You should not even be putting your phone on the table, that's gross. I see so many friends have their phone on their lap or on the table when you're talking to them, and they occasionally glance down at it. Or even worse! Go on their phones in their bed! Please no. Please stop. Sometimes sure, it's a busy day at work and might have to run or your aunt's in the hospital... otherwise... PUT IT AWAY. Especially in bed. Set a bedtime and make yourself and your partner put it on a table at the foot of the bed. The bed is for sexy time and snuggles - not gross phones, duck face selfies and work emails you should have answered hours ago.
Career girl vs Family oriented
I think both are potentially equally appreciated by men. I think most men generally will respect what your choice is, whether you are ambitious is your path of choice or you'd like to take some time off to take care of your family and home, I think both are great options. It's also great if you can be a bit of both. Being well educated, well read and having a field of interest but also having family - it's the best of both worlds really. I think especially if the person in question is a very highly educated person, you, yourself need to be too, otherwise you just can't keep up and how can you have any conversation. It may also be advisable to say that regardless you need to have some domestic skills - don't be a slob - fold your clothes, organise your stuff, and if your current food life consists of takeaways, pot noodles and ready made meal - you need to get it together. Male or female, you need to know how to make a few dishes, and make them well.
Be an interesting person
Most people are very interesting people. If spending 3 hours on Netflix everyday sounds familiar : get a life. There are so many things to be interested in in this huge world with such diverse people. From running, to archery, from knitting to cooking, from skiing to jet-skiing, collecting stamps or god forbid gardening. Please, turn the tv off and do something! anything! There is so much!
Be an action person
I know it's easier said than done because sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself. I think everyone says they wished they read more, let today be the day you read more. Education never really stops. Our interests as human beings are eclectic and you can really find material on anything you want to read about. Biodiversity in the Antarctic, fiction, Anglo-Saxon England, Sex... read read read it will make you a more interesting person. Also do do do... it's good for your soul. Find a mountain in your vicinity and hike up it. If you've been meaning to lose 5 lbs for the last 2 years, today is your day. That nice underwear you've been saving have never worn... you should start wearing it... immediately. Take action because that's the only way to make the most out of every minute on this planet.
Sex
I didn't really want to mention this, because men judging women for their sexual decisions and not getting judged themselves is something I'm pretty tired of, however I think that's because it's mainly women themselves who are judging and shaming each other. There's a horrid and contradictory pressure on young women in society, mostly by other women, that dictates if you don't lose your virginity at a young age and don't show sexual interest, you're an undesirable girl and a prude that no man wants, yet at the polar opposite, follow this exact instruction and you will be a slut. Honestly there's no way to please everybody else so do what's right for yourself. Don't feel pressured by society to have sex at an early age. I had a 'boyfriend' at 16 who was lovely kid, he wasn't pressuring me to lose my virginity to him, it was other people around me who made me feel that way. I think I did the right thing to break up with him and not cave, because it wasn't right. I was a virgin until I was 18, that's not really the point, the point is I didn't let outward expectations influence my relationship which is really important.
I guess ultimately what I want to say about sex is that it's the place where the darker side of human nature comes out. A lot of the time we can be very sophisticated as human beings, with our science and suits and fine dining, but sex to me is where that animalistic side comes out. You don't have to run from it or fully embrace things you don't want to do. Rather you should educate yourself on all sides of it - aka watching, reading and talking about it - because the more you know the better equipped you are.
To be honest this myTake turned into a lot longer than I meant it. I initially sort of wanted to show the complexity of getting the man that all girls want, and how that really requires you to be your own best person who is continually improving and evolving. I guess in here you might find all sort of things you might find useful. To be honest, it's really hard to navigate this world, find out what you want from life and how difficult it is to achieve. I don't think this is superficial, I think it's important. Choosing a life partner is a very important decision, if you get it wrong, the scars will last for your lifetime. You should makes sure that you yourself are equipped for that relationship and that you get a high quality person. Of course not everybody wants one - but it is a basic human desire for someone that understands us who we can share our lives, every happiness and sadness with.
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