Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!

Anonymous

In a university project I did interviewing women between 16-30, and asking them how their ideally planned life would go, the answers I got were pretty unanimous: be successful yourself, and be with an even more successful man. Mostly phrased in 'rich hot guy' 'millionaire' is what they seem to have on their minds. From my own experience growing up in the 1%, and having a 'hot rich boyfriend' myself, I can promise you, it's probably not going to happen.

I would have advised them myself, only it's not socially acceptable to be telling girls what they should and shouldn't do in order to achieve their goal in a tough love manner. These girls talk about 'marrying a rich man' and not as a gold digger mind you - as a genuine relationship - and making that work, as if it's such an easy feat that any girl can achieve: *spoiler it's not.

I really want for people, young girls in particular to understand that this 'prince charming' dream isn't something that will just 'happen' to you. Not only must you make yourself into a high value person, you must also ensure that you are an individual who is ready and equipped to forge a healthy and fulfilling relationship. What follows is dating advice - sure - but I also hope: life advice.

Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!

Authenticity

This is a broad term, but at it's core you need to know who you are as a person, and have confidence in that. Don't force yourself or pretend to be something that you're not. This also requires a huge amount of honesty, with yourself and others. Don't like everything that everybody else likes simply to feel 'validated', likewise, don't disagree with everything everybody else likes simply for the purpose of being 'different'. It's impossible to have any relationship to any depth if you aren't 'yourself' - it's self sabotage if you constantly have to keep up this facade. This is honestly something I see a lot of women do. They try to maintain a 'perfect girlfriend' picture, even though it might be nice for awhile, it's not something you can keep up, these girls end up resenting their partner and lashing out. You're better off being honest and taking responsibility for your flaws from the start, if you have a temper for example, rather than pretending it's not there and forcing it down you ought to admit to it and apologise for it - then eventually you can overcome it.

Figure out what suits you.
Figure out what suits you.

Appearance

I won't deny the importance of your appearance when it comes to dating. I won't lie - it will definitely help your case if you are a natural beauty. There are many ways in which you can take care of yourself, making the most of you have naturally with makeup, taking care of your hair and nails, I mean today there really are countless ways you can make the most of yourself. Though, tread carefully - harsh contouring, sharpie eyebrows and claw like nails are not what I would call 'attractive' the point of taking care of your appearance is to draw attention to yourself - as an individual. The above trends are attractive to other women, not men, which is of course perfectly fine, however they do distract from yourself as a person. For example you go on a date looking pretty and elegant, and you are remembered for that and the excellent conversation, vs him not being able to remember anything you said because he couldn't keep is eyes off your neon yellow claws - and not in a good way.

The same is for dressing provocatively - it's fine, but there's a time and place for it. Can't tell you how many stories I've heard where a man takes a girl out, has her picked up from where she lives, chooses a lovely restaurant - and then she dresses really 'slutty' *nervous laugh. If you go to dinner with your boobs almost completely out, it's so eye grabbing and distracting, it again, distracts form you as a person. Think about it like a man with a six pack, when he talks to you, you find it really hard to look at his face.

So I suppose what I'm saying is, it's best to leave something to the imagination. You don't have to listen to me, you can really wear what you want, this is just advice if you want to give people a good impression of yourself. A good go-to is a tight or sheath dress that goes to just below the knee with heels, showing chest, but not harsh cleavage, short sleeved or thick strapped. If it's hot you can go with a sundress instead. (tip - good idea to have red somewhere, whether that be shoes, nails or dress.)

Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!

Some images to show you what I have in mind. As you can see all these are 'sexy' in some way or another, but none of these ladies are showing that much skin. To me I see the all white one is very stylish and fashionista, the pink is the most sexy because it has the bare arms and back that the others don't seeing as the length is too the knees it's still suitable. The beige shirt of one looks very relaxed and the cream dress I find very classic. Further down is an example of a dress if you want to show your legs. It's a high cut looser dress, but's it's length is very flirty and has bare arms.

Don't forget to look after your body too, you should get in regular exercise and watch your weight. You don't have to be obsessive and be going on juice cleanses, just be self aware and indulge 20% of the time, rather than 50% of the time. A good body is always a good sign, it means you take care of yourself. Studies have shown richer men like slimmer girls, prefer small/medium breasts to larger ones, butts that are proportionate and round. (no kim ks pls)

Personality

Honesty, loyalty and faithfulness were identified as the main qualities wanted. Begin a 'drama queen' is the least desirable. Present yourself as a reasonable, discerning person and you will always be respected. All relationships face their struggles to be honest, whilst you should be respecting, kind and forgiving, also don't be a doormat and bend over backwards to please others. Remember, you are responsible for how people treat you, if you teach people that you are a reasonable person who deserves to be treated with respect, that's how you will be treated (with a few exceptions). Whilst every person has a unique personality, often think that almost everyone in the world would benefit from a little extra patience and good listening skills.

Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!

Have grace and good manners

Manners are about making others feel comfortable. A lady always considers those around her. Grace is mostly about self respect. Things you shouldn't do : talk negatively behind someone's back, alienate the women around you, have an air of superiority, be overly assertive in a field you don't understand, interrupt other people, have your phone anywhere near you. This is important ladies and gentleman. You should not even be putting your phone on the table, that's gross. I see so many friends have their phone on their lap or on the table when you're talking to them, and they occasionally glance down at it. Or even worse! Go on their phones in their bed! Please no. Please stop. Sometimes sure, it's a busy day at work and might have to run or your aunt's in the hospital... otherwise... PUT IT AWAY. Especially in bed. Set a bedtime and make yourself and your partner put it on a table at the foot of the bed. The bed is for sexy time and snuggles - not gross phones, duck face selfies and work emails you should have answered hours ago.

Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!

Career girl vs Family oriented

I think both are potentially equally appreciated by men. I think most men generally will respect what your choice is, whether you are ambitious is your path of choice or you'd like to take some time off to take care of your family and home, I think both are great options. It's also great if you can be a bit of both. Being well educated, well read and having a field of interest but also having family - it's the best of both worlds really. I think especially if the person in question is a very highly educated person, you, yourself need to be too, otherwise you just can't keep up and how can you have any conversation. It may also be advisable to say that regardless you need to have some domestic skills - don't be a slob - fold your clothes, organise your stuff, and if your current food life consists of takeaways, pot noodles and ready made meal - you need to get it together. Male or female, you need to know how to make a few dishes, and make them well.

Be an interesting person

Most people are very interesting people. If spending 3 hours on Netflix everyday sounds familiar : get a life. There are so many things to be interested in in this huge world with such diverse people. From running, to archery, from knitting to cooking, from skiing to jet-skiing, collecting stamps or god forbid gardening. Please, turn the tv off and do something! anything! There is so much!

Be an action person

I know it's easier said than done because sometimes it's hard to motivate yourself. I think everyone says they wished they read more, let today be the day you read more. Education never really stops. Our interests as human beings are eclectic and you can really find material on anything you want to read about. Biodiversity in the Antarctic, fiction, Anglo-Saxon England, Sex... read read read it will make you a more interesting person. Also do do do... it's good for your soul. Find a mountain in your vicinity and hike up it. If you've been meaning to lose 5 lbs for the last 2 years, today is your day. That nice underwear you've been saving have never worn... you should start wearing it... immediately. Take action because that's the only way to make the most out of every minute on this planet.

Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!

Sex

I didn't really want to mention this, because men judging women for their sexual decisions and not getting judged themselves is something I'm pretty tired of, however I think that's because it's mainly women themselves who are judging and shaming each other. There's a horrid and contradictory pressure on young women in society, mostly by other women, that dictates if you don't lose your virginity at a young age and don't show sexual interest, you're an undesirable girl and a prude that no man wants, yet at the polar opposite, follow this exact instruction and you will be a slut. Honestly there's no way to please everybody else so do what's right for yourself. Don't feel pressured by society to have sex at an early age. I had a 'boyfriend' at 16 who was lovely kid, he wasn't pressuring me to lose my virginity to him, it was other people around me who made me feel that way. I think I did the right thing to break up with him and not cave, because it wasn't right. I was a virgin until I was 18, that's not really the point, the point is I didn't let outward expectations influence my relationship which is really important.

I guess ultimately what I want to say about sex is that it's the place where the darker side of human nature comes out. A lot of the time we can be very sophisticated as human beings, with our science and suits and fine dining, but sex to me is where that animalistic side comes out. You don't have to run from it or fully embrace things you don't want to do. Rather you should educate yourself on all sides of it - aka watching, reading and talking about it - because the more you know the better equipped you are.

To be honest this myTake turned into a lot longer than I meant it. I initially sort of wanted to show the complexity of getting the man that all girls want, and how that really requires you to be your own best person who is continually improving and evolving. I guess in here you might find all sort of things you might find useful. To be honest, it's really hard to navigate this world, find out what you want from life and how difficult it is to achieve. I don't think this is superficial, I think it's important. Choosing a life partner is a very important decision, if you get it wrong, the scars will last for your lifetime. You should makes sure that you yourself are equipped for that relationship and that you get a high quality person. Of course not everybody wants one - but it is a basic human desire for someone that understands us who we can share our lives, every happiness and sadness with.

Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Unit1
    "be successful yourself, and be with an even more successful man. Mostly phrased in 'rich hot guy' 'millionaire' is what they seem to have on their minds."

    Of course. Why am I not surprised. Hypergamy and gold digging. Nothing more needs to be said.

    "not as a gold digger mind you - as a genuine relationship"

    Then money wouldn't be that important to these women. This practice is called hypergamy and we call those, who practice either hypergamy or are pursuing richer men (only) colloquially gold diggers.

    "this 'prince charming' dream isn't something that will just 'happen' to you. Not only must you make yourself into a high value person, you must also ensure that you are an individual who is ready and equipped to forge a healthy and fulfilling relationship."

    Exactly.
    If said "prince charming" must be a hot and rich guy, then this is colloquially called dold digging and is a counter criteria directly conflicting with being ready and equipped to forge a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Because money is the most important criteria here and the relationship is established primarily because of the money $$$!

    "and then she dresses really 'slutty'"

    Then we know she dresses like that on first date with every man. She may have also slept with them too. Definitely not fit for girlfriend. Dress like a slut, get treated like one and be complimented for your tits and not your talents.

    "Studies have shown richer men like slimmer girls, prefer small/medium breasts to larger ones, butts that are proportionate and round."
    "Honesty, loyalty and faithfulness were identified as the main qualities wanted."

    I hear most men saying this - rich or poor. Point invalid.

    "You should not even be putting your phone on the table"

    Disagreed for simple reasons (check time, weather, translate words, look up wikipedia, show photos...).

    "if you don't lose your virginity at a young age and don't show sexual interest, you're an undesirable girl and a prude that no man wants, yet at the polar opposite, follow this exact instruction and you will be a slut. Honestly there's no way to please everybody else so do what's right for yourself."

    This is a good point! Some people really can't contain their jealousy.

    "Choosing a life partner is a very important decision, if you get it wrong, the scars will last for your lifetime."

    Exactly! Choosing your partner means directly choosing your future. Choosing no partner is still choosing your future,

    ---

    Want to marry greatly? Look past their bank accounts! But absolutely definitely do not settle for a man, who is terrible with money or blames others for his own mistakes or shortcomings.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Yeah, at some points I was probably a bit cold and didn't phrase myself properly.

      I'm actually not encouraging gold digger behaviour. I want young girls to stop trying to impress each other, and do those things that really matter, which is for yourself, and for the kind of person you want to attract into your life. Being overweight, uneducated and with little direction having that 'prince charming' dream that someone will fix your life is a delusion. You must make yourself into something.

      When I say 'marry greatly' yes of course I don't just mean bank account, I mean high value in general. Perhaps I should have described who that person is.

      I'm glad you found some of it interesting!

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for adding to my point (I just went to go read your response in more detail) I think you have a good approach.

      Perhaps the phone thing is a particular peeve of mine then - what I don't like is when someone is in a texting convo with someone else and the phone is resting on the table, occasionally lighting up - it's so irritating to me.

    • Unit1

      I prefer cold truth over warm lies. If gold digging is what stimulates women sexually, then who are we to argue with basic human biology. We men can use this to our advantage after all. Meanwhile the smart women can identify these traps and deal with those accordingly. It's not difficult.

      Yes. Fix your selves. Nobody is coming for the rescue. This is the adult life.

      And yeah, being for long periods on the phone during dates is plain disrespectful. The recipient of this end is best to just stand up and walk away silently.

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  • blank_expression
    “growing up in the 1%, and having a 'hot rich boyfriend' myself, I can promise you, it's probably not going to happen.” This is like in your face losers. “From my own experience” I have a hot rich boyfriend and you can’t get one so settle wenches. I am not sure of the intent of the bragging here when you are attempting to encourage women to lose the superficial dream when you claim to be living it and shoving it in their faces. Damn is that contradictory. This sounds more like a challenge to them.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Rapidash

      Ahaha I kind of thought that too, unfortunately 😂

    • Anonymous

      Yeah you're right it does sound super contradictory... I'm sorry about that. I wouldn't have mentioned it, I just feel like I have no credibility. And I've seen many young women try blindly that I wanted to say something. Sorry about that it didn't come out very well.

    • Oram52

      I think the point was she was talking from inside perspective, as in she knows what she's talking about as that is her social circle, so she speaks from experience. Girls said they want high value guy as in rich, she said she is part of 1% so has better insights into these guys. So in better position to give advice. I personally don't see any contradiction here.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • nelly83
    you never ever ask what teenage girls or what anyone under the age or 22, thinks about dating or what they want. These girls have literally no experience dating , all they have done is kid date, they are no where close to the level of maturity to take dating seriously.

    When I was 16, I wanted to date a bad boy type, a man in uniform, someone with muscles, a meat head.

    Now that has all changed. I’m 24 now and I realized that the love of my life is not necessarily gonna have huge muscles or be a man in uniform. It is his PERSONALITY that can bring me to a world that nobody else can. You can’t buy this feeling with any sort of money.

    Money , successful man is not gonna make you fall for him. His muscles or his uniform is not gonna make you fall in love. Unless he has the ultimate PERSONALITY, the marriage is NOT going to last

    you still have a lot of maturing you have to do

    And nowadays it takes way more than personality and looks to get a highly successful guy. Successful people date other successful people. If he is successful, there’s is a good chance most folks that he will be surrounded by are also highly educated and accomplished. This is why doctors tend to marry other doctors. Police officers tend to marry other cops. You marry those who you are surrounded by the most. Like there is a league for looks, there are also leagues for intelligence and education and success.

    President is the US is not gonna marry a McDonald’s worker just because she’s pretty and has a good personality.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Yeah I absolutely agree, I did originally have a paragraph about family background and that sort but omitted it because I felt it was a bit harsh

    • nelly83

      It’s not about family background. It’s about education and achievements. It’s been proven that folks tend to marry those who are similar to them. You are also surrounded by people who are most similar to you.

      If you want someone successful , best thing to do is to be very educated yourself and be somewhat a little bit accomplished. In this way, you will be surrounded by other successful people. If you work as a doctor , you will predominantly be surrounded by other doctors. And leagues do exist for intelligence and success, successful guys tend to be extremely smart and very ambitious. They are not gonna be attracted to a woman who has a bad education , lazy, doesn’t know anything, can’t afford to pay her own rent, can’t support herself. Smart folks tend to always date other smart folks.

      1. Being educated and successful yourself is the only effective way to surround yourself with rich folks

      2. Have a good education , be somewhat a little accomplished yourself to show that you are also smart and have the same values. Like there are leagues for looks , there are also leagues for intelligence. There are leagues for income , most rich folks in general aren’t interested in dating folks who can’t afford afford to feed themselves

  • Anonymous
    Excellent points! Here’s my input: each guy is different. Some guys like women with curves, some like stick thin girls, some like girls with an athletic body. I’m not just saying this just to say it. I’ve heard it all from different guys.

    As long as your healthy, I think it’s important for girls to love their body because that really builds confidence (which many of us can agree is sexy). I’m not saying a girl should “let herself go” in terms of her weight or her looks.. for sure, take care of your body and overall appearance but if you’re naturally on the curvy side, don’t feel insecure because you don’t have a supermodel body.

    As far as personality, be yourself. Don’t try to be what you think the guy likes. The right guy is going to love you for who you truly are. For example, I was seeing someone who drove an expensive car, wore designer suits, attend fancy parties and was his own boss. He asked me what I was doing one day. My nerdy ass was reading a book. I could’ve said something like, “shopping” or “getting dressed to go to a party” but instead I chose to be honest. Long story short he turned out to be a bookworm too 😂
    So just be yourself ladies. Again, great take. I hope my input didn’t offend anyone ♥️
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Yes I agree, it's not necessary to have a supermodel shape. As long as you're in the healthy bmi and you feel great, there's many body shapes in this range that are of course stunning. And it's true, guys find a wide range of the attractive.

      Yes be yourself, I didn't mention this but I feel like that goes under the side of authenticity - don't lie to be cooler because you might miss points of actual connection. <3

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm sorry that you posted this anonymously because I would like to know who should get the credit for this wonderful advice. Everything you said applies to dating anyone who you view as a prize; you must make yourself into a prize catch, also.
  • SomeGuyCalledTom
    "it's not socially acceptable to be telling girls what they should and shouldn't do in order to achieve their goal in a tough love manner"

    At the risk of sounding like a "mansplainer", why not? Men are notorious for giving each other brutal honesty and hard to swallow truths. Why must women dance around each others delusions out of not wanting to cause offense?

    Don't get me wrong, I agree with many of the traits you described for women to aspire to. I think any man who's "rich in spirit" would value these qualities in a woman. The size of his bank account doesn't automatically mean he'll have that richness of character though.

    This is where i disagree with you, is that the whole framing of this mytake is wrong. Let's look at the facts: if every woman surveyed wants to be super successful, but still land a man who's even more financially successful than herself... Then going off pure statistics, about 98% of those women are setting themselves up for an extremely harsh awakening later in life.

    Then there's the problem of "intentions* being warped. If a woman does these things because she wants a man of equivalent character, then good for her, she'll find no shortage of men willing to step up to her expectations. If she has good manners and takes care of her appearance, its entirely reasonable she'd want a man who also has good manners and hits the gym 3-4 days a week. But if her end goal is to validate this fantasy ideal of the rich, powerful price charming, then no matter how much she works on herself, the rich men will see she's only judging them by their income/wealth.
    And as a result, they will go for the woman who's more "down to earth" and loves him for who he is, not his bank balance. Rich guys are more discerning than average guys, I know several millionaires who actively conceal their wealth from women and from the general public. Precisely because they don't wanna fall prey to a woman who fetishises his wealth and status. I'd be the same if my income were in that upper wealth bracket (and intend for this to be the case within 5 years).

    So maybe this mytake would be framed better as "how to attract high quality men in GENERAL", and distance your advice from the "questionable" motivations of "bagging a rich man"
    • P. S. can confirm that a woman who reads books is instantly 5 times sexier. If i bring up some philosopher or artist or novelist, and she expands on the discussion because she's familiar with their works already... *mmm-hmm*... that really does it for me 😍😍

    • Seconded i can't imagine marrying a girl who doesn't read at all. Ooh and if she's into philosphy mmmhmm

    • Anonymous

      Well, that's kinda the point! I think girls should know what's in store for them - it's unlikely they'll get what they want.

      The point is not to marry a man for his wealth, the point is to be a high quality person and attract other high quality people. Yes I probably could have phrased some things slightly better. 'bagging a rich man' was not really what I meant.

      The part I said about being socially acceptable was actually complaint - I agree with being tough love to people - accept I obviously cannot.

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  • MrOracle
    I'm not wealthy by any means, but most of my customers are wealthy people, and I spend a lot of time around them, and in my experience, it's even MORE true of wealthy people than for the general population, that wealthy men want more "traditional" stay-at-home wives, because wealthy men want a family, and they want their kids to have a quality future. For the most part, they aren't looking at "career women" for partners - they have career jobs and they know exactly what those jobs demand, especially at the higher levels, and that's not what they want out of a wife, and that's not something they need another of. I know this isn't what most women want to hear, but it's the truth.

    And the reality is that there are relatively few of these men to go around, and orders of magnitude more women who want such men, so these men have LOTS of options. Who do they tend to choose? Women who are younger and who have less stressful jobs - women whose careers may seem "low end" or "dead-end" compared to a career woman. But that's the point: to a wealthy, in-demand man, a woman's job or income isn't important, because he already has all the income that's needed. He's looking for something he doesn't already have: someone to take care of his household, his children, and himself. And when I say "take care of the household", I don't mean "clean the house" - he almost certainly has housekeepers and gardeners and people like me to work on his technology. I mean someone who is directing the show at home.

    The thing is, this is still largely true among the middle class as well: men, especially men who have good jobs/careers and make a decent income, aren't going to put a lot of value in a woman's degree or career when they're looking for a relationship - that's what women value in a man, and so they project that onto men and assume that men value the same in a partner, but they don't. Men value someone who wants to be a mom, and who can take care of HIM while he is out of the house 12+ hours a day earning the money.

    This is not to say that a woman can't choose a career - obviously she can - but making that choice is likely to lock her out of the kinds of men she wants and believes she's going to get. She may still find a man, but the man that she's likely to attract is the guy who works at Walmart or Best Buy in his 40s and drives a 20-year-old car to his studio apartment. THAT guy will value her career and income, but she's going to end up supporting HIM - and that's fine, but most women are resentful and unhappy in that situation.

    This is a video from a former matchmaker who says more-or-less the same thing:https://www.youtube.com/embed/SfQDhqUbvLY
  • zagor
    You forgot to mention something: Many wealthy men, at least the self-made, are driven, obsessed individuals who are focused on their own goals and may not have a lot of room in their lives for someone else.
    • Agreed. I'm glad my wife appreciates time more than money.

  • I-am-a-nobody
    What I got out of this was if you want to be a quality woman, your heels must be at least 4". All the women pictured are VERY attractive yet not my type at all.
    Does being a quality person mean wearing $500-$1000+ worth of clothes and accessories and looking like you just stepped out of Cosmopolitan magazine?
    Where's the girl in jeans and a sweatshirt?
    • Oram52

      Yeah that's her point, you want high quality guy then you need to be high quality girl, as in look good. You don't look stylish in basic jeans and sweatshirt, that's why they're not there. You don't have to look like a model that was her point just put effort.

      You don't have to spend $500-%1000 at all, you can buy clothes that look good even at budget. Instead man-sandals buy stylish sandals, both cost same. Buy more stylish jeans that cost the same. etc.

      What's wrong with stepping out of cosmopolitan? They want high value guys - its not like high value guys have any problem getting girls who put effort, hence her point you got to offer same in return. Those pics were just used as an example, you can look stylish with some effort.

    • @Oram52
      My point is what constitutes "high value"?
      Is the guy who makes $120K and spends no time with his wife and kids higher value than the guy who makes $60K and does spend time with the wife and kids?

      The second guy is more like me and he might prefer the girl in jeans and a sweatshirt.
      I'm guessing most women would prefer the 2nd guy, too.

    • Oram52

      High value guy is subjective same as high value girl, that's why terms such as DMV (Dating Market Value) are used, after all dating functions as any other market. So yes I agree high value can be subjective. In this case we can say successful that might closest describe both scenarios you mentioned.

      Majority of guys even if don't have choice prefer girls who put effort in appearance, whatever level it maybe. You prefer low key no problem with that. But her point was majority of guys whom women may consider high value are not exactly lacking in choices, so all she is saying up your game, and appearance is vital aspect of it. If choice available most of these high values guys will go after girls who look good first. Take Los Angeles for example, where such men exist in higher proportion, what kind of girls do they go for first?

      The Sad Truth Is: Men Don't Like Natural Women ↗

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  • Browneye57
    Some thoughts...
    First paragraph is brilliant. The rest, well, too many assumptions. You're probly a little young yet to really get it.
    Why anonymous? If you're independent and self reliant, why are you hiding?
    It's WAY WAY too f'ing long. You could have boiled down each paragraph to a sentence or two.
    You're obviously a beginner, but at least you get it. And I commend you for that. Now come out of the closet. :)

    The bottom line is that my generation raised a whole crap of helicopter parents that told their daughters from day one how special and pretty they are, that all life for her is about puppy dogs rainbows and pink unicorns, and that one day a prince charming will swoop in and sweep her off her feet. Even disney got in on this shtick.

    Unfortunately, it's all fake, completely unrealistic and unreasonable, so we have this entire generation that has unmet expectations, disappointment, even depression. The latest stat I heard was 50% of women over forty are on some kind of anti-depressant. A sick society we live in, and the girls whine the most.
  • genericname85
    yeah. so much about women want "equality"... "i want to have a career, i want success i want to be equal to men but then i want a man that earns more money than me" WHAT?
    • Egalitarianism versus evolution.

      I'll put my money on evolution 99 times out of 100

    • Anonymous

      I don't think I - or any of the girls I spoke to - want equality. Men and women are different, you can't treat us the same.

    • Ok fair enough. If you don't wanna be equal, then at least you're not a hypocrite.

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  • Could you perhaps follow me if you don't already or send me a message? Because I want to follow you. This might take is brilliant.
    To see a woman understand other women and other men so well is incredibly refreshing. What you wrote is both accurate and insightful, without being judgmental at the same time. I want to copy and paste this for all young women to read. And young men too. Because if we want a high-class woman then we have to be a high-class man.
  • Beebee79
    I think girls are fooling themselves, I could be wrong but what I think they really want is a man who has direction in life and maybe wealth is an indication that they’re not just lazy. Also, I think girls find ambition and goals to be attractive which is something a rich man is more likely to have. They’re also more likely to be well mannered, better educated, and well groomed/hygenic. So girls don’t want a wealthy man but rather traits that wealthy men more frequently may possess.
    • Beebee79

      Also let me add that as a guy, loyalty and faithfulness are important but I’ve met girls that definitely possess those qualities and were also attractive but I turned them down because I didn’t like their sense of humor and I couldn’t have good conversations with them. So being interesting is important to me.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, obviously it's not foolproof, I'm just trying to point people in the right direction

  • Eagle_93
    A very well written MyTake indeed 👏👏👏

    I have to agree with pretty much everything you said. I think it goes for both women, and men as well.

    I was telling someone the other day, if you want to attract a high-quality individual, then first you must BE a high-quality individual.
  • Loveydove
    I dont Think this applies to a lot of girls... or maybe Im different. I dont Care if they are super hot, super rich mega millionaires 😂 that’s a joke right. Personally my honest type “nerdy guys” smart guys someone tall 5’11 or taller. Bigger build than me which shouldn’t be too hard. Someone who has a decent job. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who understands me. Someone who likes my cooking who enjoys me and makes me feel special. All that other stuff Is foolish.
  • victoriaxoxo
    I’m sorry but what country are you from? Just wondering because it is very very rare to come across a woman who wants to marry a rich man as a life goal in this country (UK). Every single female I know (including myself) want a stable career, a nice house and long-haul vacations. Men being a afterthought and only in relation to sex + someone to hang out with. Not saying that these women don’t exist, but I just think they are very rare.
    • Anonymous

      The exact country I'm in is the United Kingdom.

      I probably didn't explain my study well enough. I was talking to a lot of women, and the mail goal of the women was not to marry a rich man - I probably haven't explained well. It was additional, it was more of an afterthought. It was 'I want to have my own life under control etc etc as you have described, but additionally a guy with financial stability to put it so.

      There were maybe only thirty out of a hundred and fifty who had that 'marry a rich guy who can fix all my problems' attitude.

    • Anonymous

      I actually think I need to eventually write an updated version of this mytake - I wrote after I heard a specific comment from one of the girls and was in a bad frame of mind about what she said.

  • Guffrus
    Yeah it could be that or it could just be that young people dont have the first idea about who they even are nevermind have a coherant and well thought out answer to the question and that you, because you happen to live in that world take something that isn't at all serious, way too seriously.
  • CindyRuns
    One of the rare MyTakes where I agreed with virtually every word you said.

    I also achieved the goal of marrying well... Been happily married for 9 years now, have a nice house, a great career and totally love my life.
  • mrgspoter
    I jus5 won't label myself or anything it's like I don't care for money I just want someone who good to me the rest I can make all bonus points.
    Do you think high value women will care about the status of a man or is this down to the status of family they are from?
  • jgibsonian1986
    As someone with adult ADHD, it often feels like I'm a perpetual child, and will never be able to maintain myself in a relationship without help, and it feels unfair to need help
    • You might find solace in Jordan Peterson's definition of a relationship as "two semi-functioning people coming together to add up to one functioning unit". We're all pretty flawed, no matter what position we occupy within society.

  • MannMitAntworten
    “High value”. I said the exact same thing in response to another post. Which covered everything you expresses in your post. You are absolutely correct.
    • Especially with regards to attempting to draw in the top 1% for anything remotely resembling a meaningful pursuit.

  • Shutupman
    This read like it was some fan fiction written by a 13 year old. I don't know any women that want to date a millionaire, then again I dont associate with gold diggers 🤷.
  • DianaWest
    if you grew up in the one percent and were never the pauper who married the prince, how would you know?
    • Anonymous

      The point is a pauper can't marry a prince

  • SuccessfulHornDog
    Nice MyTake

    How much do you think television and Netflix shows contribute to this fantasy that it is easy to be successful AND marry an even more successful guy...

    Expectations can lead to great disappointment
  • Emerald5
    I like the first paragraph the most. I am also sad that today's materialistic lifestyles have made society think in that way and only look for such life partners like you mentioned there. Most girls these days unfortunately grow up to place money at the top of their priority when it comes to a relationship. My original priority in my partner is her personality and morals but it is like trying to find gold. Even if I found it in a girl who is plump, it doesn't matter because beauty is only skin deep.
    If only people (not only the girls) would understand the deeper message from the following video, it would be much easier to pair up with one another and life would be much less stressful and happier:https://www.youtube.com/embed/Zg3QrP4mcpE
  • Reaperbot666
    many modern girls these days seem to want a guy with. above average height, above average muscle tone, above average income, above average intelligence, above average penis size. which already limit choices to roughly 5-15% of guys. so if she only wants one of them she should be ready to share him with other girls. also a good chance he'll never settle down.https://www.youtube.com/embed/XuI6GTY9eVchttps://www.youtube.com/embed/4cblIKG4XhQ
    • Facts

    • Their materialism hypergamy is what helped me my my lifelong decision to remain a MGTOW Monk, a 34 year Monk as of August.

  • ThisAndThat
    Not that I am my own which I'm not at all interested there. But I'm also not interested in the materialist gender either. That's why I became a official MGTOW Monk going on 34 years ago.
  • supercutebutt
    I am on a clear path to great wealth so fortunately, I don't have to worry about this. :)
  • Miristheiss
    Seems like good points overall.

    "I didn't really want to mention this, because men judging women for their sexual decisions and not getting judged themselves is something I'm pretty tired of,"

    I had to take a little umbrage with that comment.
    It is UP TO YOU! You can easily choose to be with men who haven't slept around a lot.
    You have the freedom to choose and reject any type you like.
    If women in mass do not avoid promiscuous men that is on you. Turn your nose up and reject slutty guys. Who is stopping you?
    • dc-refugee

      But she won't so your comment was a pointless exercise.

  • DizzyDesii
    I rather date a broke dude then a rich dude. But honestly i prefer someone with a good paying job (and i will have my own) and we will both work towards providing for the family we start. If he's only making $30-40k, thats fine. Thats good in my opinion. Of course i’d like us to both get to at least $50k one day, but im not looking to marry someone still making Mcdonalds money. HOWEVER, i’d feel more comfortable marrying someone whos starting from the bottom then someone whos already at the top. One of my exes was rich and it annoyed me how he was on a powertrip... thinking he could buy me shit to makeup for all the wrong he was doing. Im not about that. You can't buy my love nor company. So come correct or come up (as you start from the bottom and work your way to the top)
  • MementoMori_
    I'm rich and I'd marry the girl in the Personality section right now without knowing another thing about her!
  • Tamera952
    This sounds like an article out of COSMO circa 1972
  • BilyanasBeach
    I like this mytake :) But my favourite part has to be that the pictures under "appearance" is MIRANDA KERR by biggest style idol!! :DD And she married a billionaire so I'm not wrong for following her dressing tips that's for sure xD
    I also like this mytake because it doesn't necessarily have to be for marrying greatly, it can also be a list of things to work on as a person even if you are in love with a average guy, like a list of what to keep in check to be the best version of yourself as a woman :) <33
  • Lynx122
    You make good points but even if a girl follows all of these the chances of her getting this kind of guy are low because there are just too many women who want this type of guy and not that many guys who actually fit this description. You were lucky because you were already from a rich family and had a bunch of rich guys in your social circle so that probably made it easier for you. I'm not saying you don't have qualities too I don't know you but your initial barrier to getting to know these guys was definitely a lot lower. But these random college girls what are their chances of even meeting a millionaire? And the more girls are successful in their careers not only does it mean there's less successful guys but the competition is just even fiercer.

    I think it's always good to work on yourself no matter what but most of these girls are just daydreaming.
    • Anonymous

      That's very true, initially I also had a paragraph about the importance of family background anf making friends and connections. I deleted because I thought it might make people mad.

  • yenofed840
    Marriage is not a play. Who want to marry do it. But do not marry to someone to know only how marriage works and for only experiment purpose. Many couples leave each other after 3-4 years. Marriage does not work by saying to each other. I mean to say to that Get Marry if you can stay with life partner forever. Both partners must be faithful to each other. and never cheat others because love changes while living with each other but there is no place of a cheating spouse.

    Today's Era "Most of the people get married to do sex only when getting bore, then say Sorry our marriage will not work anymore and leave each other so one more advice to born kids if the couple is not happy with each other"
  • Oram52
    Excellent take. A lot of girls simply don't have realistic expectations. But that's not the issue. The thing is you have to be able to offer something equivalent in return, which I think is point of your take. You need to have equal DMV (Dating Market Value) to partner you desire.

    Its good thing you also mentioned appearance, that you need to put effort in appearance. Something many girls don't want to hear. As I've said before effort you put in effort you get in return, something girls just don't want to hear.

    This is good advice, we would put effort in other aspects of life, we can do the same thing in dating as well. And if girls want high value guy then you have to offer equivalent in return. Which you have touched in you Take. I think I will definitely link this Take in the future when this subject comes up.
  • This basic stuff that humans should know to get hitched. Not just chicks.
  • TheAfrikan
    Sweet information but it hurts you being anonymous with a sweet helping mind.
  • Crankor
    Having a mindset of going for the rich hot guy can mess with your percieved personality and end up backfiring against your goals.
  • continentalbreakfast
    I couldn't read all of it. But u got married to a rich hot guy
  • ovixs90
    I just give you some reality. The 99% girl that hopes to find really successful rich , intelligent, super hot guy its equal to almost 0.00001 % cuz most of this super rich guys are old because its the older generation that made good business now we live in different times. Second things most of them far away from hot. Another things for example my country in Europe. There is much more women who graduate university then men like 90% women have degrees and much less guys who have degrees cuz they are not motivated and even if they do get the degree most of them understand that you won't earn much and go to work in construction, preparing cars. So that why its totally a fairy tale for this girls to hope to find super rich guy that will stay with them until the get old.
  • Rob17792
    you grew up in the 1%? Can you pm me I might know you from talking with you
    • Anonymous

      I don't get it?

    • Rob17792

      I might know you. I talk to a lot of 1% that's why I was asking if you could pm me

  • chico800
    Who is "Greatly?" And why do so many ladies want to marry him?
  • Cherokeehp
    This is all pretty general dating advice.
  • Interesting, somewhat.
  • 1828avaava1828
    Nicely done
  • Cryptic-Game
    All people need to take marriage seriously.
  • These are all worthy qualities.
  • msc545
    Very nice and complete Mytake - thanks!
  • Happy_44
    who is the girl on the cover photo?
  • Anonymous
    As an insider you'd think there would be more insider information. Not saying this wasn't well written but these tips were very general and not only could be applied to anyone but could have been GIVEN by anyone. The fact that you grew up around the 1% was probably more of an edge than anything else written in this whole take.
    • Anonymous

      Yes that's actually very (sadly) true. To be honest I had initially written something a little less general and, more honest, however I felt it was too harsh and so came with this instead.

    • Anonymous

      Another thing, do you genuinely believe these women expect or are actively looking for rich men? Do you trust your ability to differentiate between a lighthearted wish & full fledged goal with actual expectancy? How often do you hang out with people who aren't in the 1%? And to reply to your reply, do you plan on making another mytake on this topic with the real insider info?

  • Anonymous
    I'm proud not to be one of them.
  • Anonymous
    All women are gold diggers
  • Anonymous
    Prepare yourself for the whining about misogyny, outdated gender stereotypes, oppression of women, patriarchy, yadda yadda yadda.

    Truth be told, you lost 99% of women at "high value person"
    • Anonymous

      Wait, I don't understand?

    • Anonymous

      You're telling women that in order to land the man they want, they have to be the woman that man wants. That never goes well. The mantra these days is "he better accept me 100% for who I am". Anything other than that is considered misogyny. You can't tell women how to dress. Makeup and provocative clothes aren't worn to attract male attention, they wear it for themselves. You can't tell women to lose weight or be active; women are healthy and sexy and perfect at any size and any weight.

      You're telling women to conform themselves to what men like and desire. Modern women have no intention of doing anything of the sort, and would prefer to blame men for them not being desired than to take action to better themselves, because they've been taught that they're perfect in every way without making any effort. So you won't get through to women, and all you'll get from this is blowback.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah well, that was kinda the point of writing this. At first I had written a much harsher wake-up call type thing, because today a lot of girls are living through their best years, overweight and unfocused. Finding a partner is an important part of your life, and there's no issue dedicating some time to make sure you'll get the best. To me that's just how it is. Yeah you're right girls do hate that - it's because girls often act and dress for other women, when really they should be acting and dressing for 1. themselves, and 2. the kind of man they'd like to attract.

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