Dating advice: To the girl who wants to marry greatly! (Page 2)
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Really the only thing I want to say about this is that the sex thing is not a contradiction. It's just the assumptions made about the nature of things that make it look like a contradiction. If your outlook matches reality then it makes perfect sense.
There have been things we've been told about how boys and girls are supposed to be in relation to each other than have been taught over the last 30 or so years and that's what's fucked us. We've just got a mode of thinking that is wrong, and that's why it looks like a contradiction.
I dont Think this applies to a lot of girls... or maybe Im different. I dont Care if they are super hot, super rich mega millionaires 😂 that’s a joke right. Personally my honest type “nerdy guys” smart guys someone tall 5’11 or taller. Bigger build than me which shouldn’t be too hard. Someone who has a decent job. Someone who makes me laugh. Someone who understands me. Someone who likes my cooking who enjoys me and makes me feel special. All that other stuff Is foolish.
If everyone wants the best, most will have to settle for everyone else. But some would be very delusional and decide the right one hasn’t arrived yet. Am I doomed to be forever single because more universities push these types of “what if,” case studies? I really hope the question next week isn’t “essential upgrades for your robotic/holographic boyfriend/girlfriend” I would ban them outright for relationships since people can’t help each other and are only interested in marrying, finding the absolute best when they’re all taken
As an insider you'd think there would be more insider information. Not saying this wasn't well written but these tips were very general and not only could be applied to anyone but could have been GIVEN by anyone. The fact that you grew up around the 1% was probably more of an edge than anything else written in this whole take.
Yes that's actually very (sadly) true. To be honest I had initially written something a little less general and, more honest, however I felt it was too harsh and so came with this instead.
Another thing, do you genuinely believe these women expect or are actively looking for rich men? Do you trust your ability to differentiate between a lighthearted wish & full fledged goal with actual expectancy? How often do you hang out with people who aren't in the 1%? And to reply to your reply, do you plan on making another mytake on this topic with the real insider info?
I jus5 won't label myself or anything it's like I don't care for money I just want someone who good to me the rest I can make all bonus points.
Do you think high value women will care about the status of a man or is this down to the status of family they are from?
Yeah it could be that or it could just be that young people dont have the first idea about who they even are nevermind have a coherant and well thought out answer to the question and that you, because you happen to live in that world take something that isn't at all serious, way too seriously.
I think girls are fooling themselves, I could be wrong but what I think they really want is a man who has direction in life and maybe wealth is an indication that they’re not just lazy. Also, I think girls find ambition and goals to be attractive which is something a rich man is more likely to have. They’re also more likely to be well mannered, better educated, and well groomed/hygenic. So girls don’t want a wealthy man but rather traits that wealthy men more frequently may possess.
Also let me add that as a guy, loyalty and faithfulness are important but I’ve met girls that definitely possess those qualities and were also attractive but I turned them down because I didn’t like their sense of humor and I couldn’t have good conversations with them. So being interesting is important to me.
Yeah, obviously it's not foolproof, I'm just trying to point people in the right direction
One of the rare MyTakes where I agreed with virtually every word you said.
I also achieved the goal of marrying well... Been happily married for 9 years now, have a nice house, a great career and totally love my life.
yeah. so much about women want "equality"... "i want to have a career, i want success i want to be equal to men but then i want a man that earns more money than me" WHAT?
Egalitarianism versus evolution.
I'll put my money on evolution 99 times out of 100
I don't think I - or any of the girls I spoke to - want equality. Men and women are different, you can't treat us the same.
Ok fair enough. If you don't wanna be equal, then at least you're not a hypocrite.
@SomeGuyCalledTom egalitarianism does evidently support evolution. If we give people equal chance and free choice, the gender differences will manifest in society.
If we do force equality of outcomes, we work against nature.
That's what i mean, you give women equality and they'll say "thanks very much, but i still want a man to make more money than me". Don't get me wrong, I'm glad women achieved equal opportunities in most of the developed world. But cognitive dissonance is clearly a thing, as OPs graduate study points out.
@SomeGuyCalledTom yes. there is very few women that will prefer a carreer over a man that earns more. and those women should have the right to do that. and they do. so that's where feminism ends. when it is possible and they still think that's not good enough, we come into equality of outcome territory, which means "no free choice for women" and that is hardly feminist, so i don't know why feminists push for that shit.
and yes cognitive dissonance is a BIG thing i'm not sure if it's bigger than lack of critical self awareness or not though. because if you have no critical self awareness, you can't even begin to reduce cognitive dissonance in a self conducive way.
I can easily say I want or deserve to earn as much as the men around me and want to be treated equally. But that's me thinking in a society when men and women are the same when actually we're really not. Obviously I don't want to return to the rigidity of the 1800s, but I do think there's something to be said about the value of gender roles. I mean my boyfriend and I are discussing children and things like that, when I have children... I would actually like to be around for them, I would like to cook for my family and walk them to school. I can't do that unless I have enough support.
Yeah there's definitely more to the whole "gender equality" dilemma than would appear on the surface. There can be a certain "careful what you wish for" aspect to it. I think instead of making men and women the same, we should just honour the strengths that both can bring to the table. I just don't believe a stay at home dad could ever play a maternal role better than a mum. And i don't think a working mum could play the paternal role better than the dad. Gender roles exist in the first place because they're reliable. It's only when they become overly rigid that we should even DARE to start tweaking them. And even then the tweaks should be only the minimum viable changes. Otherwise we risk changing too much, too soon, and before you know it the very implicit structure of our existence is under threat.
You can easily say you wanna be equal but if you want a man to earn Morey you're not equal. It's contradictory. I understand you want the same chances as men and I think you should granted same chances. But if you want men to earn more, you can't be equal.
@SomeGuyCalledTom I would be careful about the stay at home dad thing. We don't know that... I mean you can have that hunch, I get it. But the fact is that we have so little stay at home dad's, that we can't even begin to have a representative study...
From all we know from representative studies is: that children who have 2 parents raising them fare better. There's no correlates with gender in that. And we have same gender parenthood. There's no evidence for those faring any worse. But then again the sample size there is also tiny...
Gender roles exist because men can't have children and women can. That difference can never be equalized and that difference will always show in society.
That seems a fair enough analysis. The stay at home dad claim was maybe a bit of a stretch of my original logic. Still though, there must be a point where we draw the line in the sand what with all these new wave progressives trying to destroy gender roles altogether. There must beva happy middle ground in between "outdated gender norms" and "elimination of gender differences". I agree that women's ability to bare children is the bedrock factor that in turn determines all other factors. But its mot the message young women are hearing. They're increasingly told to distrust their child-rearing impulses and climb the corporate ladder instead. Coz i guess men were just having too much fun having those soul crushing office jobs all to ourselves... 🙄🤣
@SomeGuyCalledTom i feel like gender norms develop organically. we have all those discussions today about "women should this and that" and "men should this and that". it shows that we actually don't know shit about how we should structure our societ around gender anymore.
i mean if you look at developments and regulations between men and women in the work space, it shows that we are still very new to this entire "women working" thing. we still don't know how to manage our sexual human nature professionally. we are a LONG shot away from having shit figured out. that why it irritates me so much when people in the media talk so confidently about "how men and women should be" as if we'd actually know shit about that. it is not easy at all and a lot of things that already have proven absolutely wrong in social science and psychology are still propagated as if it was the truth just to make a point about what they want women and men to be. that is an ongoing issue, even in the scientific litterature.
True, we aren't close to having all the answers
if you grew up in the one percent and were never the pauper who married the prince, how would you know?
The point is a pauper can't marry a prince
As someone with adult ADHD, it often feels like I'm a perpetual child, and will never be able to maintain myself in a relationship without help, and it feels unfair to need help
You might find solace in Jordan Peterson's definition of a relationship as "two semi-functioning people coming together to add up to one functioning unit". We're all pretty flawed, no matter what position we occupy within society.
This read like it was some fan fiction written by a 13 year old. I don't know any women that want to date a millionaire, then again I dont associate with gold diggers 🤷.
Prepare yourself for the whining about misogyny, outdated gender stereotypes, oppression of women, patriarchy, yadda yadda yadda.
Truth be told, you lost 99% of women at "high value person"
Wait, I don't understand?
You're telling women that in order to land the man they want, they have to be the woman that man wants. That never goes well. The mantra these days is "he better accept me 100% for who I am". Anything other than that is considered misogyny. You can't tell women how to dress. Makeup and provocative clothes aren't worn to attract male attention, they wear it for themselves. You can't tell women to lose weight or be active; women are healthy and sexy and perfect at any size and any weight.
You're telling women to conform themselves to what men like and desire. Modern women have no intention of doing anything of the sort, and would prefer to blame men for them not being desired than to take action to better themselves, because they've been taught that they're perfect in every way without making any effort. So you won't get through to women, and all you'll get from this is blowback.
Yeah well, that was kinda the point of writing this. At first I had written a much harsher wake-up call type thing, because today a lot of girls are living through their best years, overweight and unfocused. Finding a partner is an important part of your life, and there's no issue dedicating some time to make sure you'll get the best. To me that's just how it is. Yeah you're right girls do hate that - it's because girls often act and dress for other women, when really they should be acting and dressing for 1. themselves, and 2. the kind of man they'd like to attract.
“High value”. I said the exact same thing in response to another post. Which covered everything you expresses in your post. You are absolutely correct.
Especially with regards to attempting to draw in the top 1% for anything remotely resembling a meaningful pursuit.
Nice MyTake
How much do you think television and Netflix shows contribute to this fantasy that it is easy to be successful AND marry an even more successful guy...
Expectations can lead to great disappointment
I'm rich and I'd marry the girl in the Personality section right now without knowing another thing about her!
This sounds like an article out of COSMO circa 1972
Not that I am my own which I'm not at all interested there. But I'm also not interested in the materialist gender either. That's why I became a official MGTOW Monk going on 34 years ago.
I am on a clear path to great wealth so fortunately, I don't have to worry about this. :)
Having a mindset of going for the rich hot guy can mess with your percieved personality and end up backfiring against your goals.