Dating Tips for Women

[Anonymous]

I've written my dating tips for guys already, so to follow up, here are my tips for women. As I mentioned with the last post, with any advice, take it or leave it! You don't have to believe as I do, it's just opinions and a little advice, k, cool!

1. Who Pays

This is up to you and your date, but let's be really real here...we are now in 2024. You make money, presumably, as does he, so a guy shouldn't "have to" pay for every date. Part of a date is treating the other person, and as the golden rule says, treat others the way you want to be treated. If you are a traditionalist, there is nothing wrong with that. You want a man led relationship, that's fine if that's what you want, BUT, make that clear early on or look in dating spaces where this is the norm.

2. You Don't Owe A Guy Anything

Sadly there are still some cave men who believe that if they buy you dinner you OWE them sex, or maybe you actually believe that already. No. Your body belongs to you. Dinner and a movie doesn't mean you must go to bed with someone no matter how much they pressure you or try to insult you into thinking that.

3. Be Crystal Clear About What You Want

If your dream is to someday get married and have 3 kids and live on a farm in Vermont, don't look for the city guy who has no desire to ever get married...like ever. Go for what you actually want and if you are posting up to dating profiles, be clear that this is who you are and what you're looking for. If you're on a date, NEVER let anyone try and shame you out of what you desire. Don't let someone tell you marriage is stupid or not wanting kids is a travesty 'for a woman'. And LISTEN really closely to the following : BELIEVE A MAN. If he says no I never want kids, I will never move, I hate my family---believe that. He's telling you who and what he is and you SHOULD listen. Don't get all pissy 2 months later because you can't change him. He told you and YOU didn't listen. That fault is on you.

4. Know Your Worth

I said it to the guys and I'm saying it to you. Before you even sit down on that date, know that you are worth it. Don't let a guy treat you like dirt under his shoe or disrespect you, and on the same token don't do those type of things to others because karma is a beast. Your worth does not depend on a man telling you how great or beautiful you are, you should know those things. When you know those things, no one can tear you down despite if they are bitter or nasty or a jerk on a date.

5. Eat. Think. Speak

So many women go on a date and eat like a leaf of lettuce. Come on! Order real food and eat real food that makes you happy and fulfilled. Also don't pretend like you don't have a brain. If a conversation about politics somehow pops up and you've got a graduate degree in political science, speak your mind! Don't ever pretend you aren't as smart, talented, creative, funny, or whatever it is you are to try and impress a guy or hype up his ego. Be you, because in doing so you will find someone that truly appreciates that and respects that about you.

6. Stop Pressuring Your Date

Date one, take a deep breath. Calm down. Date one is not something that you should use to determine the entirety of your life with this person. Yes, you should know what you want but the 30 questions fired off back to back rapid fire---you want a family, you want marriage, how committed do you think you could be to me, what is your financial status, why did your ex break up with you, were you the problem, tell me about your entire family...geezus, chill out. You're going to seem a bit insane there. Sure casually ask a few questions, but this isn't a tax survey, this is a human being that is much more than a bunch of answers. Be casual, be yourself, but don't pressure someone to commit to your life day one.

7. Hold off on the S-E-X

Not trying to shame anyone, but if you are actually looking for something beyond just a hookup like a real solid long term relationship, maybe don't give it up day one of meeting a guy. This is especially true if you have a steady track record of only a few dates after you've had sex day one and no one seems to ever stick around. Maybe, just maybe, spend a few dates, getting to actually know a guy and if he's worth it to you.

8. Safety First.

I literally hate to say here we are in 2024 and women still have to pay close attention to this, but safety first or pain later. Some of the best dating advice I've ever got was to drive your own car to your first couple of dates. If this guy turns out to be a real psycho, he will know where you live, he could become a stalker, whatever. If he's a creep, you're stuck trying not to get molested on the way home or he may flat out say, you suck and not take you back home. Anything could happen. Notify at least one family or friend of who you are going out with and your intended locations. Turn your location on, on your phone. Never leave your drinks unattended. If you go to the bathroom, order a fresh drink after. If you feel unsafe for any reason, leave. Don't hope it will get better. Mace in the purse.

9. Pay Attention to How He Treats You + Others

If you're on a date, and your date is treating you or the waitstaff like they are beneath him, or he's absolutely losing his s--t because someone honked at him, or he makes some really off brand rude comments about another woman, his ex, or his family, listen up. Most people can keep their bits of crazy inside for at least date one, but if he's unleashing a darker side, a rude side, a mean side, already and you barely know him, beware, there may be real danger ahead or someone who will treat you the way he is speaking of others.

10. Let Expectations Go

For a lot of women, you may feel this side pressure to get the boyfriend, get into that relationship, have the family, get settled, or to be whatever this person wants you to be for them. Let that go or you'll really start to hate dating because it or a man won't be able to fulfill those dreams as quick as you think you need or you won't find Mr. Perfect (because he doesn't exist). Date one, drop the checklist, and just concentrate on how you feel and how you think the date is going. Try and just enjoy it with no expectations of everything going just right. He may be shy, you may not be all that interested in what he's saying, or your date that was planned could be awful. Don't be afraid if things don't go well to give it one more chance if you think there is even an inkling of something there with this person. We all know we've had bad first auditions, bad first interviews, bad days, so give them or yourself some grace because you may miss out otherwise on a really good guy.

[Katebfun]

Here is my theory. Love, True Love happens 3 maybe 4 times in a lifetime. Not Lust, Love. When Love happens it all falls into place. You don't have to play games or ask silly questions. If you have to do all that then the person is just a place holder and you both like each other for superficial reasons. Whoever is meant for you will NOT pass you by.

For people who do online dating give men a break! It's expensive to date and if you've never met in person and he's going by just a few pictures then allow the first "Meetup" not date to be casual & light. Like a park date or coffee date. I believe when you have not seen the person prior then it's not exactly an official "DATE" you meet to see if you like each other’s looks and personality, period. Then if you are clicking feel free to extend the date to drinks, dinner or a movie.

Don't talk about exes or your pathetic life if you’re in a rough spot in life. Dating is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. I'm not there to be a therapist, I can sympathize but if we don't know each other well keep things light at first.

I personally put all men I meet in the "Friend" category. That doesn't mean he can be promoted to a Lover and maybe even family one day. If a man cannot treat and respect me as an equal and friend, he will never be a good partner. I've met co-worker men, acquaintance men who I liked physically at first and then I saw how they started to treat me and or others and I quickly put a stop to all potential to go beyond platonic.

Sex: Well, I believe this is different for all. You should let it happen naturally. Our bodies usually know when it is time. I do believe that if someone is meant to be on our soul’s path here then having sex too soon will not ruin the potential to be something solid and serious.

Let expectations GO. I preach this in all areas and people in your life. Even if nothing comes of a few dates, then chalk it up to gaining new knowledge of what you like and don’t in a partner. Don't blame the other if they leave you for another or something they do hurts you. Take the pain and transform it into your power. You have to not let the EGO run your dating life, you'll be angry, depressed and bitter if you allow Pride and Ego to destroy your personality. I have learned that people come and go. They were not meant to be in your book of life, just a few chapters or pages. Accept that the Divine/God will remove people from your life and this is always for your greatest good. Don't blame the other for whatever they did. Forgive them, move on and become the best version of yourself. Keep your DIGINITY attached.

****If someone is meant to be a bigger part of your soul’s journey, sometimes you both have to separate in order to HEAL and become better versions of yourself. You could be surprised by a future meeting with one you once loved/liked and have a fresh start a clean slate. Don't hold on to false hope for another. Let them go and if they come back and you are ready, welcome them in with open arms and an open heart.

[myTake Owner]

This is equally good advice, maybe you need to write a mytake too!

[Katebfun]

Thanks 😄

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Due to some of the other takes on here where women/ men presume to know how all women/men feel, act, want in a relationship or from dating just because they’re the same sex, went into this thinking it’d be more of the same, another female presuming to know what ALL women want but this was actually great, great advice and given without attacking the opposite sex or belittling women or men… The only thing I might have added was being more cautious, take even more time to get to know someone that you’ve met online only, and if you can’t go on frequent dates or any dates to really get to know that person in person, don’t be so quick to enter into a relationship with someone you’ve never even met…

[myTake Owner]

I agree. I hear a lot of women in particular wondering why they are trapped in a horrible dating spiral, but if they look at their pattern, often it's rushing, it's ignoring blatant red flags, it's not treating themselves with respect or expecting that as a bare minimum in dating someone.

[MKcreatives]

Thanks

[ManOnFire]

This gets my Seal of Approval. A rare well-written, and well thought out Take. Very excellent points. "And LISTEN really closely to the following : BELIEVE A MAN." Absolutely true, and what women are not being taught. No.5 is another very good one that even I have never really thought about. You are right, if you have a brain to converse about a topic, don't hold back, engage. Extremely good points on driving your own car for the first few dates. And I think No.10 might actually be the most important, because expectation is the root of all unhappiness. When something doesn't happen the way you always think it will, your world falls apart, and that's no way to live.

My only disagreement would be with no.2. A woman definitely doesn't owe a guy sex on a date, but many women still believe they are owed all the perks on one. The meal, him buying her little things, etc. Women think it's wrong if a guy wants sex, but not thinking it's wrong to expect him to be giving her the world on a first date and hardly knowing anything about her. Other than that this is a fantastic Take.

[Jamie05rhs]

Technically she covered that issue in #1, though.

[myTake Owner]

@Jamie05rhs ^^^^

[KrakenAttackin]

"You don't owe a guy anything"... Yes, you do owe a guy respect and gratitude for taking you out. This includes NOT using a guy for a foodie call especially if you are going to get railed by Chad right after your date with Mr. Wallet.

[myTake Owner]

You know I'm specifically talking about sex in this instance. If you have to explain basic manners, you shouldn't be dating in the first place.

[KrakenAttackin]

Mytake owner. There are many, many, women who needs basic manners spelled out for them.

[myTake Owner]

Same with men, but staying on topic, this number was about not owing men sex specifically if you need the clarification.

[Asad1ONE1]

You forget to mention her misandrist tone. As if girls aren't as interested in sex, which most actually are. Men don't owe women sex either.

[WhiteBoyChill]

@Asad1ONE1 If anything, women are far more promiscuous than men these days

[KrakenAttackin]

@WhiteBoyChill Without a doubt.

[Asad1ONE1]

@WhiteBoyChill If true, quite hypocritical and foolish of them.

[YouSloppyLady]

Ok you're right men don't owe woman a damn thing either! see how that works you moron. Grow a fucking heart or a brain, people like you are why its all fucked up. Why didn't you just say "oh you're right the wording could be better there" because it could be, and move on. Nope just attitude, you're just as bitter as the guy you reply to. what a joke

[YouSloppyLady]

MEN REMEMBER YOU DONT OWE WOMAN A DAMN THING!

[KrakenAttackin]

@YouSloppyLady That's right, it works both ways. Women don't owe men sex and men don't owe women dinner or anything else.

Women killed "courting" with hookup culture and rosters.

[YouSloppyLady]

completely. They even have the BALLS, to say they regret it afterwards, and then basically cuckold their partners. Why should anyone participate. We dont OWE THEM SHIT, right? Thats basically what they deserve at this point, monogamy might be over with.

I dont see why anyone should make themselves a martyr and just take it, when escorts are a few hundred bucks and onlyfans culture will probably make escorting even bigger in some time, its easy and cheap to get a 20 year old right now. Thats what women want to become. oh well can't say we didn't try here explaining basic math. I sure as hell will never use this fag spinster website, bunch of entitled nasty hearted cum dumpsters

[OlderAndWiser]

Every point you made is valid and important. Good work!

[myTake Owner]

Thank you.

[Miristheiss]

I think I can get on board with pretty much most of those.

I'd push back on some with 4. KNOW YOUR WORTH.

I think most modern women already operate from an entitled princess, abundance mindset. Women have been told for way too long that just existing, just being a woman entitles you to all of these wonderful things and you are great the way you are, you deserve this and this and this and this and just by you being a woman you deserve it.

You have worth as a person. You should expect some basic kindness and respect but tons of women don't have much worth.

Good women have worth. Being a woman, by itself doesn't make you good. Kind women, virtuous women, empathetic women, loving women, loyal women, wise women, smart women, personable women, trustworthy women, faithful women, devoted women... etc. have worth. Unfaithful, obnoxious, foul mouthed, manipulative, promiscuous, drug using, entitled, selfish, lying, bad boundary... etc. women don't have much dating worth.

Not every woman deserves some great relationship. A tall guy, a funny, handsome, successful, strong, leader, great job, good income, lots of resources... guy. If she is a selfish person, a liar, sleeps around, will wasted his money... etc. She shouldn't "KNOW HER WORTH" because when you say "KNOW YOUR WORTH" what you really mean is "you all that girl", "you deserve X, Y, Z", "you are awesome, you have so, so much dating value JUST AS YOU ARE".

You don't mean to ACCURATELY KNOW YOU WORTH. That involves taking accountability and some women aren't worth that much. They need to work a lot on themselves... to be kinder, not to nag, be honest, not to manipulate, be faithful, stop cursing, stop lying, to stop being degenerate... etc. Work on yourself.

Just existing as a woman doesn't automatically make you high value and of a lot of worth on the dating market, deserving the most handsome, successful, nine and ten men.

If you really meant "KNOW YOUR WORTH" then that would also include some women realizing they don't really have that much dating worth and they really need to work on becoming a better person. This you are a catch just because you exist, just being a woman means you have some great value and you deserve a top man.

No... lots don't.

Be accurate and honest... don't pump their egos up with this princess fallacy.

[myTake Owner]

I mentioned this in number 4: " Don't let a guy treat you like dirt under his shoe or disrespect you, and on the same token don't do those type of things to others because karma is a beast."

[KrakenAttackin]

@Miristheiss. Yes! Excellent post.

[MKcreatives]

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[Simslover92]

Great tips and here's my response:

1. Who pays: I paid for the dinner for our first date because my boyfriend didn't have it that night which was fine by me even though I'm a traditionalist mostly. He felt tremendously bad about it but I reassured him that it was fine. There would be other dates where he could pay for the date.

2. Never felt pressured by a guy to give it up and if I ever did, that would be the last date we have.

3. I was very clear with my boyfriend that I want marriage and kids. At first he was against marriage but now he has come around because he realized that he could see himself being my husband and wants to marry me. Love is strong thing I tell you. So definitely put what you want out in the open at first. He may or may not come around but luckily my boyfriend did.

4. Definitely.

5. I have to be careful with what I eat and I think a lot of girls are like me. They don't want to upset their stomachs eating something with a lot of dairy or beans or something that will surely mess your stomach up. Salads are usually a safe bet. But I will eat something more hardy like steak and broccoli every now and then. But salads are just a safe food to eat. Believe me we aren't trying to look cute. We're trying to prevent a messy situation with our stomachs lol.

6. Agreed

7. Agreed though I gave it up to my boyfriend the first night but we were friends for years so it's a little different.

8. 9. And 10. Agreed.

[myTake Owner]

As someone pointed out and I agree with, I can't speak for every woman in every situation, which is why I tend to put up warnings like take the advice or leave it, because we are unique women who have different mindsets about different things and that's definitely okay. I actually hate it when people say "women have to think and feel this way," because everything in life just depends, but things like knowing your worth, safety, and speaking your mind, I think are more on the universal side. Thanks for the comment.

[Anonymous]

Nice, I agree with all your tips and this is very nicely written. I would however like to add some comments on #1. As you rightly pointed out, it's 2024 now, and both men and women are earning their own cash. And yes, there's noting wrong with wanting a more tradittional, male-led relationship if that's what you want, and expecting the man to pay in that scenario is fine.

Hwowever, the truth of the matter is that most women today do NOT want a traditional male-led relationship, but many of those same women still expect the man to pay for the first (and often subsequent) date, and judge him harshly if he doesn't. Men know that and feel pressured to pay for that reason alone. That needs to end, and it's up to women to end it.

The reality is that most women have little interest in ending that. It's an example of the fact that women want to end traditional gender roles, excpet the ones that benefit them. It's hypocritical and a very poor reflection on modern women. Women obviously have no problem speaking out against sexism and double standards, but they are strangely silent on one like this.

And sorry ladies, but the "whoever asks should pay" thing is bullshit and you know it. He's not paying for the pleassure of your company (that smacks of something else, doesn't it?). Its a date, and you both should be getting equal benefit and enjoyment from it. So why should he be punished for having the responsibility of risking rejection by asking you out by also having to pay? Let go of your entitlement and start walking the equality walk you have been preaching. It's long overdue.

[myTake Owner]

I respectfully disagree, and here is why. Women often complain about beauty standards, right? Why do we have to shave, why do we have to wear make-up, "men" are the ones putting this pressure on us, but who buys the make-up, who buys the razor and shaves, who continues to buy into the prescribed industry standard...women...and therefor the only way this standard will end is if women stop adhering to it.

Now on to paying for dates. It's your wallet. Stop cracking it open and paying. We don't control your money or your bank account, you do. Putting the blame on women is a cop out because you could literally stop paying if you wanted to, but "just like women and beauty standards," its easier to point the finger at the other gender and say, if we stopped, the world would explode. It wouldn't. It would keep going and people would adapt and change.

[Opinion Owner]

Men are the ones putting pressure on women to wear makeup? Are you for real? Men hate makeup.

Sorry, but trying to use makeup as an excuse for women hypocritical perpetuating outdated gender roles is sad.

Now on to paying for makeup. It's your wallet. Stop cracking it open and paying paying for the stuff, and start walking the equality walk you women have been talking for decades. It's way overdue.

[tzdc21]

I wanted to point something out. Your stance on you don't own a man anything is absolutely correct. But I'd like to add that he doesn't owe a woman anything either. A lot of women complain that they spend all this time to get ready and put makeup on, do their nails and all this stuff, only for him to decide to go 50/50 on the first date and not pay for her. That's very hypocritical because that is no different than a guy thinking he is entitled to sex because he planned the date or paid for the meal. That gives us the impression that you think you're entitled to our wallets, and that's messed up too, especially after harping that we're not entitled to your bodies as well. A man is not entitled to a woman's body and a woman is not entitled to a man's wallet.

[myTake Owner]

I agree. I've often said this, that just because you exist, it doesn't mean anyone has to like you or do anything for you. Applies to dates, how people treat you or don't treat you, and life in general. We get the respect we give. It isn't owed.

[Kelley1]

My only advice to young women is, "If you want a husband and family," start looking for a husband at age 17 when your sexual market value has peaked. If not engage my 19, lower your expectation because they are unrealistic. Lower them again at 20, and lower them again at 21 enough so you don't reject all offers.

That is because after age 22, when your sexual market value starts rapidly dropping, you will either never get married or else you will settle for less than you could had from 17 to 22 when your sexual market value was higher.

[Kelley1]

@YouSloppyLady If I could advise young women of anything, it would be not to believe they have time to play around with the Chads and Tyrones until they are 30 and then look to get married. Certainly they can get married because simps and much older will marry whoever they can find. However, at 30 they have lost their bloom and their sexual market value is 25% of what it was at 20, and men they turned down at twenty when they were young, beautiful, and sexy, no longer want them.

[Asad1ONE1]

By your deranged logic this "sexual market value" you speak of would apply to men as well.

🤡🤡

[Kelley1]

@Asad1ONE1 If you wish, you may substitute "desirability" for "sexual market value." It also applies to men but the ages of their peak "sexual market value" is higher and it doesn't fall as quickly. Also, while it is not her money a man is after, a man's income and wealth are important to women. Therefore, a 30-year-old man with a much higher income may appear more desirable to women than a 20-year-old who has not had time to prove that he is capable of earning a much higher income.

[Asad1ONE1]

I don't know where you get your knowledge but it seems as though you've been brainwashed by false societal narratives.

[Asad1ONE1]

Well you're only 19 and so that's understandable

[imtiaz45]

For women navigating the dating world, communication is key. Be authentic and express your desires and boundaries clearly. Prioritize your own interests and well-being while staying open to new experiences. Trust your instincts and observe how your date treats you. Be confident and embrace your uniqueness. Don't settle for less than you deserve and maintain a sense of independence. Cultivate a positive self-image, focusing on self-love and self-care. Keep the conversation light initially, and gradually delve into deeper topics. Most importantly, enjoy the process and have fun, allowing relationships to unfold naturally.

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[Kaamraj]

I have read your other article about teaching men how to date. I dont think that any article is necessary telling women how to date because historically young women never had any problem in dating, even more so now with the advent of technology where they can literally make a social media or dating profile and watch the likes or swipes roll in.

Vast majority of women do not pay on dates, so much so that there's a genre of dates called "Foodie Dates" where the explicit reason for the date is securing a meal and experience.

Women dont owe men anything, agreed. And men dont owe women anything also. Meaning just because a man has sex or a One Night Stand with you doesn't mean that he owes you a relationship.

But again I think that in 2024 women need any dating advice.

[HighValue]

The best tips for women is, 1. Treat men fairly. 2. Only go for the quality of guys that YOU yours7live up to.

For example, if you participated in casual sex, don't expect a good quality man to want you, instead, date a cheater. If you have a past of using drugs, find a strong out loser too.

Also, if you haven't participated in casual sex, don't ever date/accept a low quality partner that has.

Just find partners close to equal quality/morality.

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[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

I get the whole strong, independent woman thing BUT not all men want that. Some of us want a damsel in distress who will be a brilliant mother and our equal as a wife. Without some feminine vulnerability, we are going to be drawn to women who do have that.

[aceleon]

7. Hold off on the S-E-X

10. Let Expectations Go

only parts i agree (the others i am either indifferent or disagree)

i can't talk about girls but as a guy the best thing that works for me is still having a male led relationship while not being have to be a providing loser.

there is a reason we call lion the king of jungle (even if he doesn't live in the forest or not the strongest)

[HawkPerception]

Wow. Rarely do I agree with girls on every point they make when it comes to dating, but this one hit the mark right on. I don't have much to add other than maybe when dating someone, focus on the chemistry: similar interests, views, sense of humor, style of communication, way they think, sexual compatibility, etc. That's what chemistry is... just a bunch of similarities. Contrary to what people say, similar people have more attraction than opposites.

[myTake Owner]

That's it really. Instead of all the external, when it comes down to it, are you thinking about if you and this person are actually getting along in a way that makes you excited that they may call you/text you for a second date. Chemistry cannot be bought, it has to come from you and them.

[magiusX26]

only critique coming to mind is a compromise on that checklist part. maybe not fully drop it, but instead, like the 20 qyestions part, pull way back on it. dont checkmark or "x" much if any of it but keep mental notes of things on there that are good or bad out of behaviours. and this goes to all not just women.

mite add, be willing to put imput into the date planning too.

[myTake Owner]

That's good advice too. Thanks for the comment.

[magiusX26]

no problem

[findacure4wokeness]

You don't owe a guy sex if he buys you dinner but I think It's dangerous to say women don't owe men anything. It sort of suggests a very broad under no circumstances context. men and women owe each other sometimes. If your borrowed money and promised to pay them back you owe them money or you leave your partner for some one else you owe them a explanation at the very least. I've heard bad people utter those words under these type of circumstances.

[genericname85]

kind of hard to know what you're worth as a woman cause all the simps will tell you that you're a 10, while the guys you're actually interested in may not see it that way at all.

[IrishStewed]

I can't see the reason for posting My Takes Anonymously unless you are embarrassed to talk about dating. What is with all this anon stuff on this site?

[Anonymous]

Dating tips for women: Fellas, as a guy, it's 2024, females have high expectations that we will NEVER meet so there is no point in trying, just focus on yourself, go to the gym, love God, love your family, have a close group of guy friends, travel and that's it. Simple, I avoid drama, I avoid headache, I avoid childish behaviour. It's a win-win-win :-)

[Germansucks]

I did something completely different and found it very interesting. I read through flirting tips for men (mylifestyle-mentor. de/frauen-fruchtreich-anfragen-so-klappt-es-guaranteed) and looked at what men should pay attention to and what tips they get, because that's how you see them assess us women. I really had to laugh at some of what was there, but I found some things really interesting.