Search Results: hate trying to date

I've dated this girl for a year now and she's been a constant pain in my ass. I thought i loved her, she doesn't reciprocate if it doesn't suit her at the time and she always lies to me and hangs out with a guy who hates me and wants in her pants.

Major issues:
Constantly lies about shit

Want's to supposedly please me too much and doesn't want to say no:Faked orgasms

Stood me up on four dates and the last of which i waited four hours because she promised she would come.

Her "friend" is a guy who wants in her pants and climbs through her window at night and touches her plus hates me.

She let him spend the night after he got kicked out of his apartment by his roommate. (Still question what happened that night)

Minor issues:
Unreliable, never calls only texts, when she does call she hangs up randomly when another person is heard in the background, tries avoid her issues in the relationship and when i attempt to walk out on her she begs me not to go which isn't fair in the slightest.

I have clinical depression and I can't find joy in anything. I have a life threatening respiratory disease, I have no friends, I've never been on a date, and I'm always seen as the second option in literally everything by everyone. The lack of help and endless effort from people trying to feed off me has built tons of hate into my heart. I want to kill all of those people, but I know it won't be over until every last one of them are gone, which one person couldn't do alone. The more things get worse, the more I feel like I have nothing to lose by striking back. A small part of me thinks there's a little hope that I can have a life. How can I make that a reality? Or should I start making people take ownership for what they've done?