Preference for Interracial Dating/Relationships!!!

Ellie-V

Just a disclaimer...I am black!!! My father is a Haitian Frenchman and my mother is Jamaican.

I will try to look at this from a broad perspective at some point but I’ll mainly be getting into my experience and observations as a black woman in America.

Preference for Interracial Dating/Relationships!!!

The stigma

1. We hate our own race

2. We just want some pretty yellow babies

3. We choose this because our own race finds us unattractive

All 3 of those points are correct for A LOT of black women who make the effort to date outside of their race (mainly with the white dudes). But...

All 3 of those points are incorrect for A LOT of black women who make the effort to date outside of their race...(not considering the white dude preference 😂)

And I’m sure other races of people will have those kinds of opinions about interracial dating as well. My Korean best friend, who is dead, could not date outside of her race because her parents had similar negative opinions about interracial dating.

My experience

I grew up with black people in America. Christian blacks, for he most part. (Including Some Hispanics of all types) Did I see ANY interracial relationships, or “swirling”? Absolutely not 😐

And I never questioned it until I was 16.

At 16, when I’d finally gotten the chance to continue my education in a diverse school, I developed a crush for a Mexican boy. But even in that school I hadn’t seen any mixed “couples”.

Granted, my very first crush ever happened to be a Mexican boy...in KINDERGARTEN 🤣 And I always wanted to hang out Hispanic girls too.

I thought they were prettier than me, so I followed them so I could learn to be like them. Nobody told my chocolate self how amazing skin and hair was. But even from the black community, you would hear how kinky, natural hair is tacky and ghetto and how dark skin meant you were dirty and broke. Yes. These are things many black People have to hear about themselves from both their own people and other races as early as kindergarten!!! This is not made up.

So of course my little girly girl, brainwashed brain developed a crush for a boy who I thought would NEVER give me the time of day, all out of jealousy and envy of the light skin Latina girls. I wanted what those girls had, including their high yellow dudes 😂😂😂

Immature and foolish...I know 🙄

But anyways!!!! Like I said, at 16, I liked another Mexican boy. Yes, I know for a fact that he was a Mexican specifically.

By that time, I was still iffy about the way I looked. But I wasn’t just jealous of Hispanic girls in particular. I was jealous of every girl 😂 Even black girls...the ones who permed their hair specifically. It was glowing, glowing, getting me SOOOO upset at how long it was! And the attention they received just crawled under my skin. If only society had uplifted people such as myself...I probably would have been a much happier kid.

***

I dated that Mexican boy, against my mom’s wishes. She was and still is racist. Her opinion on Hispanics is that they are cheating rapists with no job. I didn’t believe that at all. My *Jorge* had a job. He had a car. He was documented. He was sweet. He was the moon and the stars. Funny thing is, he wasn’t attractive. At all. His face was just...unfortunate 😂 but he stood out to me because he was smart, independent, and charming. He didn’t even have to try. So we became high school sweethearts. We were the only interracial couple we were aware of. His family was accepting of me but my family wasn’t accepting of him.

My cousins would here about my relationship and say I betrayed them or that I thought black dudes were bums. All of their talk was bullshit. That simply was not my mindset.

However, I did have the impression that black boy for the most part preferred light skinned girls (black or any other race).

So yes, that did kind of deter me away from the idea of being with a black boy. I didn’t think I had a chance.

After Jorge and I split, for reasons unrelated to culture or race, I dated a black boy.

I never canceled them out. Again, I just didn’t think I had a chance.

After the black boy, I dated a mixed girl. She was Russian and French. We were a gay, interracial couple. Of course people talked their shit 😂

My mom was 100% against it. But my cousins were not as freaked out by this coupling in my life. They seemed to be only offended when I wouldn’t date black BOYS.

Apparently, that matters because men can get you pregnant. Men complete the traditional family picture. If I am with *men* who are no black, I am rejecting “black unity”, giving into what the white man wants. Which is to tear black people down, starting in the homes.

So when I am with non black *women*, technically in their eyes, there is no real home to tear down. That’s when they decide to not care.

But anyway, that relationship ended as well. Completely unrelated to culture or race.

In my college, I see mixed couples all of the time. For the most part they recieve no judgement.

And I have taken the liberty to try to understand how their relationships came to be and their opinions about race related politics.

Everyone is different.

And to be honest, I actually prefer interracial dating for myself. Here is why...

The truth...or my truth 😏

1. I still believe that for the most part, black men prefer light skinned women (black or otherwise)

I do not think that there is anything wrong with preferring a certain skin tone. I don’t hold that against black men as something bad. I am just not their type...and I am perfectly okay with that.

2. My preference was definitely rooted in insecurity and shame for being chocolate and kinky haired. That is exactly how it started. But it did not end that way. I am no longer insecure about those things. I am a grown ass woman.

I love me. Get wit it boo 😘

3. Different is beautiful. Again, I am not insecure about my looks or where/who I came from. But I want someone who is different from me, in many ways, it’s not just a race thing. I adore unconventional beauty. I am that freak who looks at a trash can and calls it art. It’s just who I am.

All in all, I encourage everyone to at least embrace the idea of interracial dating if that is possible for you, individually.

I hope this has given you a slightly different perspective of how things like interracial relationships can be problematic for some and how the preference alone can start out. Not everyone’s preference for it are the exact same or similar to mine. Everyone has their own story. I hope you can appreciate mine and discuss this in the comments with respect and peace.

...I’d also like to say that there is SOME truth to every stigma/stereotype regardless of who or what it is targeted at. There might be a grain of sugar in that salt!!!!!

😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚

Preference for Interracial Dating/Relationships!!!
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