Search Results: think about your boyfriend or girlfriend

So me and my Girlfriend have been dating for 3 months, I recently found out she had Chlamydia (I haven’t been checked yet but she was and she obviously passed it on to me). I asked her if she was clean early on in the relationship after the 4th date before we had sex and she said that she got tested with her last boyfriend and she only had one possible partner in between that time (and she made it sound as if the guy she slept with wore protection and didn’t sleep around). I told her today she should probably inform him that he has it and she said she doesn’t know who gave it to her cause there was supposedly multiple men. Now I was initially a little upset cause I trusted her word but now I obviously know she lied to me. Now I also find it weird she got an STI checkup midway through the relationship (2 weeks ago) when she’s had other doctor appointments before that in the relationship (as she had to refill Birth control a couple times and get checked up on for a cold). She also won’t talk about it with me about it (or anything to do with it), when ever I bring it up she gets mad at me and says I don’t deserve to be upset about it.

I do love her and I think I can get over the fact she passed an STI onto me (though I feel shame for myself because I obviously have an STI atm) but I’m mostly disappointed and upset with the fact she lied and I likely caught something because of it. What should I do?

(Also I’ve only ever slept with 1 other woman and got tested fight after and was clean, so I couldn’t had passed it)

Many years ago, i had a beautiful, loving, scaring and genuine girlfriend.
i can honestly say there is or was no one like her, girls like her are very rare.

Anyway, about 2 years into our relationship. i became emotionally unstable.
Try as i might i couldnt change. i hurt her, terribly. i never meant to, but i did.
i cheated on her with her own sister, i hit her, swar at her.

Eventually, she left (not that i blame her, i always wished her well). i never made contact with her for 7 years. Yesterday, i found out that she died from a very aggressive form of cancer, aged just 28 years old. She married her long term boyfriend before she died, she was with him for 7 years also.

I was and still am in shock. I still remember our first date, how she smelled so incredible, what she wore, and even what we talked about. that was 12 years ago.

I want to visit her grave, and tell her how sorry i am. She made me a better person by leaving, and she protected herself, i dont doubt that. I think if i could ask Emma now if i could visit her grave, she would say no, but i also think she would say "But if it would make you feel better"

I am now happily married to another woman, who reminds me of Emma in every way. Smart as hell, funny, unassuming, loving and devoted... im just a different man. Emma changed my life, and i will always be grateful.

What do i do?

Suppose something unfortunate happened. No big deal. then she blames you for it, accuses you for the insignificant incident and disregards your reasoning, that it's no ones fault or your offering to correct the situation while you still can.

she made you mad or angered or whatever: You realize she isn't going for a "it's ok. We'll do this and all will be well. No need to get upset about it. Come here for a hug 🤗." kind of thing. You do not want to escalate the conflict any further but she is currently in a state, where she looks to win the argument against you, so you would take the blame. you decide, that this isn't going to happen so you just stop speaking to her in order to cool off and to not say or do anything you would likely regret. At least for a good while (some hours long on average).

you as a good boyfriend and the big lover of your girlfriend don't think it's worth starting a fight over it. You are a problem solver, not a problem creator.

is that an acceptable thing to do?
or are you one of those, who love to feed on drama, fights, cortisol and high stress levels in life? Because those aren't on my diet whitelist.