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I met my boyfriend at a language exchange social in August 2019 and we had a long, intense, online romance for about a month before I let him meet with me again. Once we started meeting in October, the chemistry was so strong that we were officially girlfriend/boyfriend by the end of the month. I had never had a boyfriend before this-- I am extremely picky and believe that the person I am dating should be a person I could see myself marrying. This makes it extremely complicated especially in the beginning of a relationship, when you cannot predict the future and it comes to mind vs. heart and reason vs. passion. I know one cannot predict the future, but I want there to be at least a vision of the future on the horizon.

This is when I get doubts. He will say things like "we will have two weddings, one here and one in Saudi" but if I joke about it he is serious and becomes distant. He met my family and close friends, he tells me that he talks to his close friends about me (I facetimed one of his best friends back home, and one time he said his mom told him to said hi to me). I truly believe he loves me with all his heart. But he's practical, and I'm afraid that while he does love me, he will return to Saudi and break up with me because of our cultural differences.

At moments it seems we are polar opposites. Even our language reads in opposite directions-- left to right and right to left. I feel like we are the positive and negative space in artwork, severely juxtaposing each other but can only exist from this juxtaposition.

I feel like no one understands this situation. Please give me advice and a different perspective—am I naive to think this relationship could work?

He went from being heads over heels for me and addicted (his words), discussing meeting my family and marriage, to breaking up suddenly. But he didn't ditch me/ghost afterwards and kept talking almost daily as he said he wanted us to stay friends and keep me close (we still talk 9 months after the break up although we had a phase where we didn't speak) but he keeps on saying we need to move on.

In his break up message he said that he was "Scared" , he said that he liked me and could still like me, but that he felt that there were too many obstacles (I assume he means the distance, and the fact that we are not ready for marriage because we're both students). That he didn't want to drag me for years without the certainty of marriage since he still needs 4 years or so before being able to get married. That he is scared my parents want me to marry someone from my country, and he is scared because so many men wanted me.

Some of the mistakes I've done as a woman when I think about the relationship retroactively:

- Once mentioned to him that my mom prefers me marrying someone from my country.
- Talked about other guys to make him jealous and get his attention (I'm immature i know). Turns out it made him insecure, i think.
- Told him about a guy who wanted to propose to me.

PS:
- We're both 24
- Both (religious) virgins waiting for marriage
- His religiosity often made him guilty over being overly sexually attracted to me
- It was an online relationship , we both live in Europe but in different countries.
- None of us has had a previous relationship.
- None of us dated or looked to date after the break up.

I don't want to give him up because I feel like we're soulmates (although I don't believe in the concept).