Search Results: how to act on a first date

I just had a friends with benefits type of fling with a long time friend. None of us want a relationship but we have a strong connection. She invited me to her place to show me "yoga" for the first time. So we talk while she is in... sweat pants.. that leads to us making out for the second time. then the bedroom.

She then called me asking me to hang out with her at 10pm. A week before, she broke off the "kissing etc." part of our friendship, and said she was going to go on a date with a guy. In other words, we still hung out intimately at her place sharing deep conversation while it was late at night... just no making out or dry humping etc etc. Just deep conversation talking.

I acted like it was no big deal. We had a deep conversation and she seemed pretty tense. She then thanked me for not making a move on her.

I just kept going on about my life. No big deal. But after the date this weekend she messaged me after I didn't talk a few days. She did well on a work project. We had a "catch up" phone conversation.

I did not even bring up her date. She alluded to it saying "I went on a date..." but I just ignored it and kept talking about other stuff without responding.

Then she started getting frustrated and said, "Grrr! I wish you were here right now with you tea! Then you could take care of me right now." She was pissed about stuff at work.

Then by the end of the phone call she started saying, "Hey, you should check up on me... I probably will feel shitty by the end of the week... Its my time of the month." Then she started complaining and saying that she wishes I could hang out with her more.

I sense that this "checking up on me" is a shit test. Is she testing if I am a real man who has a life or whether I am some poodle who rushes to her side on command? Or maybe its something else?

Been in the dating scene for the past 7-8 years, like every guy out there at first i thought that love, compassion and attention will get you the girl, since i saw some guys making it work... turns out these guys either seriously lucked out out or had other attractive qualities "money" .

In reality the dating scene was a little more complicated than showing love and attention to get women, i once ignored a girl whom i had feelings for and for some reason she decided to not pursue anything with me any further, and i was surprised when she came to me a while later asking why do i avoid her and showing far more interest in me than before... my first ex i almost showed no interest in and never considered dating or flirting with her but after a few text messages (she messaged me) we ended up going on a date and dating for a while, my now ex acted weird and distant at first, so i ignored her, she started pursuing me harder and finally i told her i have no interest in girl who acts like she does (she is hot by the way ) ... the result? dated for 3 months, she probably even left her boyfriend to date me.

between these two gfs i met plenty of women be it at college or out of college, and what i noticed was that showing any kind of attention in women almost always led to them losing interest in me, when i acted distant and made no effort i had compliments and interest from all kinds of girls and they werent shy about showing it, showing little to no interest in women has helped me a lot and i still can't figure out why is it like that?