I was going to scrap this myTake due to lacking a shit to give, but I was inspired by @ChronicThinker to express my opinion on this subject.
So I rewrote it, enjoy.
I am not trying to bully anyone in particular, I am just trying to express my concern with certain mentalities I always see on the internet.
But let it be known... That I will be relentlessly making fun of you if this applies to you.
I have always been known to be a bit of a buzz kill when it comes to topics of romance and love in general. I don't really lack any dating experience, but I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert either.
So my opinion is at your own discretion.
We tend to hit puberty just as hard as it hits US!
So we have all these desires bottled up inside that we have little knowledge of what to do with.
Our little experience leaves us with very little to act on.
Besides beating the fuck out your dicks or drilling the shit out of your pussy's...
But other than the sexual aspect of it, we all seem to have to have out own stories when it comes to things we like to call "standards" or "preferences."
And we start talking about the perfect boy or girl for us, and tell stories of our none existent happily ever afters in the form of describing what they look like, what they share in common with you, and the different things you hope they'll be like.
This is otmal for a child to do... But if you're an adult and still have this mentality .. I may have opinions about that.
I will explain the 7 reasons I disagree with the whole "dream girl/boy" in my new myTake.
7 reasons I don't think "Dream" partners are healthy to think about.
1.) You don't have to be cynical, but you need to be patient.
Let's be honest, the first pancake you make is not going to be perfect.
This can be analogous to relationships as well. Especially if you have NEVER made a pancake before.
Do not expect to be married to your high school sweetheart, or expect to go any further romantically with that community college girl you like, when all you do is constantly buy alcohol for her and her friends.
Your burnt and mangled pancake may be unsalvagable, but do you know what you do with a mangled pancake you wish was delicious and golden? You throw it away and move on, and come back when you're ready to try again.
2.) Wanting someone to be a virgin or "pure" is a childish preference.
This mostly applies to men, but I've seen women suggest the same thing too.
I'm sure MANY of you whom are typing in response to this will have the same kind of retort.
"Oh its not that they NEED to be a virgin, I just don't like women who are sexually secretive."
... or "it's just my preference"
... or "it's for religious reasons"
...or even my personal favorite...
"So what if they're young? It's their decision when they become an adult."
I can also go over why having certain standards in general is ridiculous, but we will get to that later.
What I would like to talk about, is the weirdest expectation that has hardly EVER made sense to me.
My first observation often comes from men, the "fellas", if you will.
So fellas, do you want a woman to be a virgin because you want to be her first time? Her most treasured exception, her most memorable mammary sucking man?
Or do you want to have sex with a virgin because you don't want a woman with any experience picking up on the fact that you fuck like an elderly sloth?
It's all up for interpretation isn't it?
Now my second observation comes from women, or the "ladies", as I will refer to them.
So ladies, do you want your man to be a virgin just so you can be the first to take it away? Do you want to be his fertile servant, his undying mistress, or even the barer of his Innocent seed?
Or do you want sex from a virgin because you know that virgin dick will make certain men look past your insecurities and anything you find undesirable about yourself? With one eye even.
I guess we'll never know...
My third observation is of both men and women.
3.) If you think romance novels, comics, and movies are accurate or even applicable...congrats, you are 13.
The shit you read in romance novels barely ever happens. And if it does, the people involved are fucking creepy.
I'll give you an example... If I was ACTUALLY approached by a REAL LIFE VAMPIRE, and they said they wanted to have sex with me, baring their fangs.
I'd get the fuck away from them and possibly call the cops.
Now, I am a "normal" person, so I might be biased. But if you disagree with my (hypothetical) decision to run away from a vampire that asked to fuck me... Then we have exhibit A of my problem with this.
Now playful fantasy is fine, or just talking amongst friends about fucking fictional characters might be fine.
But people who actually consider and fixate on wanting to fuck fictional characters... MAY have a condition called... "not-leaving-the-house-itis."
4.) No girl is always waiting for you, and no man is always looking for you.
This is kind of a generalization, but it's also likely enough to be applicable to you.
I'm not a diamond in the rough, people who assume that are holding me at the wrong angle.
But I usually expect women to approach me due to the frequency of such events in the past. But I am not above making a move on anyone if I ACTUALLY want to date someone.
But there's a difference between choosing when to make a move and WAITING to be asked out.
The issue of course is that you are not some sort of special or mysterious person, you are most likely not going to be looked at as cool guy/gal if you don't talk to anyone. At most, you're probably going to be seen as an asshole or an edge lord.
You're not a magnet.
And even if you are, if you don't put any effort into something like a relationship, you'll end up like a refrigerator magnet that can't even hold up a paper calendar.
5.) Falling in love with Celebrities (or even YouTubers) is unhealthy at best.
Here's the problem with developing romantic feelings towards a person you are in a parasocial relationship with.
Let's say you wanted to date "Mila Cunis", or " Adam Driver". The only motivations you have to be in love with them come from experiencing their personalities and looks BY PROXY. These people (especially YouTubers) claim to love you for all the support you give them, but they are VERY far from being your friends.
Not only is being friends with them almost completely impossible unless you are directly involved in their lifestyle, but dating them is only a possibility that can generate from YEARS of obsession.
If you have a simple little crush on them, that's fine, nothing wrong with playing with ideas you know aren't realistic. But if you are actually confident in dating a celebrity, who you have watched and listened to for years, you're going to embarrass yourself.
Not just embarrass yourself either, if you're decently attractive you might end up being groomed by a celebrity due to his/her status. if your celebrity obsession notices you, you're more likely to end up in a Bill Cosby situation instead of a backstage Katy Perry fling. And certainly not without mentally crippling experiences to even get close to these people.
I'm not saying that celebrities are bad people and that you should avoid them, but they are social psychologically conditioned to believe they are separate from anyone of below average noteriety.
6.) Focusing on forming healthy relationships can benefit you.
I have heard from men and women whom have this belief system when regarding the opposite sex. And it's honestly the most aggravatingly petty incel esq philosophy I can think of.
The belief states (in summary) "Men and women can never just be friends and only friends. And if they are it's just men and women lying to hide their intentions."
Now let me break something down really quick...
Let's ASSUME that men get boners from even the most subtle of sexual stimuli. Let's ASSUME that women get equally (if not more) aroused in even the most non-sexual environments.
Even if everything I just said was actually true (which it isn't), I want you to ask yourself something.
Why would any form of arousal interfere with being able to form healthy and platonic relationships with others? It's what we have evolved as a species doing.
No amount of sexual dimorphism has ever stopped us from communicating in a mature and friendly manner, and the only cause for believing men and women cannot be in a platonic friendship, is immaturity and arrogance.
Overall, I think that forming friendships with people REGARDLESS of their sex may help you form a real relationship.
Not because you're planning ahead to be in a relationship with anyone you meet. Because even if you can't date someone, you could always use more friends...
Because at the end of the day (in my opinion) romantic partners are just best friends that wanna fuck each other.
It will especially help in preventing yourself from ejaculating in your pants when someone's shoulder brushes against you.
7.) Pretending to have standards at all.
OK so I'm about to take a super controversial stance, or maybe not we'll see.
Anyone who makes a list of all the things their "dream partner" will be, are most likely gonna die alone. Especially if they are inexperienced and only create this "perfect spouse" based on observations.
In less direct terms, if you search for a perfect girl or boy you're whole life, you had better be prepared to be disappointed.
And even if you don't want a perfect partner, you can neither sit and pretend that they exist, nor can you complain all day when you aren't able to find your ideal partner.
I can understand "deal breakers" as a way of regulating how much you are willing to put up with in a relationship.
HOWEVER, if you are constantly LISTING your deal breakers to everyone, nobody is ever going to date you unless they are just as lonely and pathetic as you are.
If you are romantically inexperienced and find the need to have a list detailing what you THINK you like in anyone you date, it becomes a game of "PICK ME! PICK ME!" for everyone involved.
When I say THINK, I am mostly referring to the people who lack experience. The people who still feel entitled to a specific type of girl or boy regardless of how anti-social, entitled, and socially unattractive they are.
I disagree with the whole aspect of having an ideal partner, and especially with searching for one. I do not believe in contemplating romantic fantasies that purely revolve around the prospect of not having to earn anyone's respect is alien to me. I think it's stupid and immature, and just enables your low self esteem and isolation.
And if it doesn't enable crippling loneliness, it certainly has the potential to turn you into either a self entitled white knight, or a shallow bar fly.
That's all from me, and I hope you have a lovely day.