7 reasons I don't like "Dream Girls/Boys"

I was going to scrap this myTake due to lacking a shit to give, but I was inspired by @ChronicThinker to express my opinion on this subject.

So I rewrote it, enjoy.

Quick Disclaimer.

I am not trying to bully anyone in particular, I am just trying to express my concern with certain mentalities I always see on the internet.

But let it be known... That I will be relentlessly making fun of you if this applies to you.

I have always been known to be a bit of a buzz kill when it comes to topics of romance and love in general. I don't really lack any dating experience, but I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert either.

So my opinion is at your own discretion.

7 reasons I don't like

Hormones!

We tend to hit puberty just as hard as it hits US!

So we have all these desires bottled up inside that we have little knowledge of what to do with.

Our little experience leaves us with very little to act on.

Besides beating the fuck out your dicks or drilling the shit out of your pussy's...

But other than the sexual aspect of it, we all seem to have to have out own stories when it comes to things we like to call "standards" or "preferences."

And we start talking about the perfect boy or girl for us, and tell stories of our none existent happily ever afters in the form of describing what they look like, what they share in common with you, and the different things you hope they'll be like.

This is otmal for a child to do... But if you're an adult and still have this mentality .. I may have opinions about that.

I will explain the 7 reasons I disagree with the whole "dream girl/boy" in my new myTake.

7 reasons I don't think "Dream" partners are healthy to think about.

7 reasons I don't like

1.) You don't have to be cynical, but you need to be patient.

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Let's be honest, the first pancake you make is not going to be perfect.

This can be analogous to relationships as well. Especially if you have NEVER made a pancake before.

Do not expect to be married to your high school sweetheart, or expect to go any further romantically with that community college girl you like, when all you do is constantly buy alcohol for her and her friends.

Your burnt and mangled pancake may be unsalvagable, but do you know what you do with a mangled pancake you wish was delicious and golden? You throw it away and move on, and come back when you're ready to try again.

2.) Wanting someone to be a virgin or "pure" is a childish preference.

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This mostly applies to men, but I've seen women suggest the same thing too.

I'm sure MANY of you whom are typing in response to this will have the same kind of retort.

Saying ....

"Oh its not that they NEED to be a virgin, I just don't like women who are sexually secretive."

... or "it's just my preference"

... or "it's for religious reasons"

...or even my personal favorite...

"So what if they're young? It's their decision when they become an adult."

I can also go over why having certain standards in general is ridiculous, but we will get to that later.

What I would like to talk about, is the weirdest expectation that has hardly EVER made sense to me.

My first observation often comes from men, the "fellas", if you will.

So fellas, do you want a woman to be a virgin because you want to be her first time? Her most treasured exception, her most memorable mammary sucking man?

Or do you want to have sex with a virgin because you don't want a woman with any experience picking up on the fact that you fuck like an elderly sloth?

It's all up for interpretation isn't it?

Now my second observation comes from women, or the "ladies", as I will refer to them.

So ladies, do you want your man to be a virgin just so you can be the first to take it away? Do you want to be his fertile servant, his undying mistress, or even the barer of his Innocent seed?

Or do you want sex from a virgin because you know that virgin dick will make certain men look past your insecurities and anything you find undesirable about yourself? With one eye even.

I guess we'll never know...

My third observation is of both men and women.

3.) If you think romance novels, comics, and movies are accurate or even applicable...congrats, you are 13.

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The shit you read in romance novels barely ever happens. And if it does, the people involved are fucking creepy.

I'll give you an example... If I was ACTUALLY approached by a REAL LIFE VAMPIRE, and they said they wanted to have sex with me, baring their fangs.

I'd get the fuck away from them and possibly call the cops.

Now, I am a "normal" person, so I might be biased. But if you disagree with my (hypothetical) decision to run away from a vampire that asked to fuck me... Then we have exhibit A of my problem with this.

Now playful fantasy is fine, or just talking amongst friends about fucking fictional characters might be fine.

But people who actually consider and fixate on wanting to fuck fictional characters... MAY have a condition called... "not-leaving-the-house-itis."

4.) No girl is always waiting for you, and no man is always looking for you.

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This is kind of a generalization, but it's also likely enough to be applicable to you.

I'm not a diamond in the rough, people who assume that are holding me at the wrong angle.

But I usually expect women to approach me due to the frequency of such events in the past. But I am not above making a move on anyone if I ACTUALLY want to date someone.

But there's a difference between choosing when to make a move and WAITING to be asked out.

The issue of course is that you are not some sort of special or mysterious person, you are most likely not going to be looked at as cool guy/gal if you don't talk to anyone. At most, you're probably going to be seen as an asshole or an edge lord.

You're not a magnet.

And even if you are, if you don't put any effort into something like a relationship, you'll end up like a refrigerator magnet that can't even hold up a paper calendar.

5.) Falling in love with Celebrities (or even YouTubers) is unhealthy at best.

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Here's the problem with developing romantic feelings towards a person you are in a parasocial relationship with.

Let's say you wanted to date "Mila Cunis", or " Adam Driver". The only motivations you have to be in love with them come from experiencing their personalities and looks BY PROXY. These people (especially YouTubers) claim to love you for all the support you give them, but they are VERY far from being your friends.

Not only is being friends with them almost completely impossible unless you are directly involved in their lifestyle, but dating them is only a possibility that can generate from YEARS of obsession.

If you have a simple little crush on them, that's fine, nothing wrong with playing with ideas you know aren't realistic. But if you are actually confident in dating a celebrity, who you have watched and listened to for years, you're going to embarrass yourself.

Not just embarrass yourself either, if you're decently attractive you might end up being groomed by a celebrity due to his/her status. if your celebrity obsession notices you, you're more likely to end up in a Bill Cosby situation instead of a backstage Katy Perry fling. And certainly not without mentally crippling experiences to even get close to these people.

I'm not saying that celebrities are bad people and that you should avoid them, but they are social psychologically conditioned to believe they are separate from anyone of below average noteriety.

6.) Focusing on forming healthy relationships can benefit you.

______________________________

I have heard from men and women whom have this belief system when regarding the opposite sex. And it's honestly the most aggravatingly petty incel esq philosophy I can think of.

The belief states (in summary) "Men and women can never just be friends and only friends. And if they are it's just men and women lying to hide their intentions."

Now let me break something down really quick...

Let's ASSUME that men get boners from even the most subtle of sexual stimuli. Let's ASSUME that women get equally (if not more) aroused in even the most non-sexual environments.

Even if everything I just said was actually true (which it isn't), I want you to ask yourself something.

Why would any form of arousal interfere with being able to form healthy and platonic relationships with others? It's what we have evolved as a species doing.

No amount of sexual dimorphism has ever stopped us from communicating in a mature and friendly manner, and the only cause for believing men and women cannot be in a platonic friendship, is immaturity and arrogance.

Overall, I think that forming friendships with people REGARDLESS of their sex may help you form a real relationship.

Not because you're planning ahead to be in a relationship with anyone you meet. Because even if you can't date someone, you could always use more friends...

Because at the end of the day (in my opinion) romantic partners are just best friends that wanna fuck each other.

It will especially help in preventing yourself from ejaculating in your pants when someone's shoulder brushes against you.

7.) Pretending to have standards at all.

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OK so I'm about to take a super controversial stance, or maybe not we'll see.

Anyone who makes a list of all the things their "dream partner" will be, are most likely gonna die alone. Especially if they are inexperienced and only create this "perfect spouse" based on observations.

In less direct terms, if you search for a perfect girl or boy you're whole life, you had better be prepared to be disappointed.

And even if you don't want a perfect partner, you can neither sit and pretend that they exist, nor can you complain all day when you aren't able to find your ideal partner.

I can understand "deal breakers" as a way of regulating how much you are willing to put up with in a relationship.

HOWEVER, if you are constantly LISTING your deal breakers to everyone, nobody is ever going to date you unless they are just as lonely and pathetic as you are.

If you are romantically inexperienced and find the need to have a list detailing what you THINK you like in anyone you date, it becomes a game of "PICK ME! PICK ME!" for everyone involved.

When I say THINK, I am mostly referring to the people who lack experience. The people who still feel entitled to a specific type of girl or boy regardless of how anti-social, entitled, and socially unattractive they are.

Wrap up

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I disagree with the whole aspect of having an ideal partner, and especially with searching for one. I do not believe in contemplating romantic fantasies that purely revolve around the prospect of not having to earn anyone's respect is alien to me. I think it's stupid and immature, and just enables your low self esteem and isolation.

And if it doesn't enable crippling loneliness, it certainly has the potential to turn you into either a self entitled white knight, or a shallow bar fly.

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That's all from me, and I hope you have a lovely day.

7 reasons I don't like "Dream Girls/Boys"
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous

    Some points was Good but some not at all. People have preference for example I wanna stay a virgin till marrige and I would prefer him to be a Virgin cause it's a special thing I wanna have with just one person and for religious reason. However he doesn't have to be a Virgin. It's not stupid at all in any way to have preference it's more normal to have preference then just fuck anybody. Cause personally I just want it with one person. Every human have preference.

    Also some people do meet the one. I have already met the one but that doesn't need to be the hottest one. You'll just know it when you meet that person if you ever do. It's true to not make a list but romantic shit does happend. But knowing what you want is a Good thing.

    Is this still revelant?
    • And you were under my predicted list of responses

  • Goodwifie

    I have standards but not it wasn't really about looks.
    Meeting me out or picking me up,, be on time.
    Make an effort to look presentable.
    Use your manners and for goodness sake don't pressure me for sex.

    I see unrealistic expectations of what people want from a partner on here all the time.
    With the guys it's usually all about looks or not wanting a woman who has slept with over three men even though he has slept with dozens of women.

    With the ladies it seems to be that they want a man who controls everything (it's really not that great).

    Is this still revelant?
    • Yeah that's sort of what I mean when I say "pretending to have standards" be a use there's a difference between dating etiquette and being a really shallow person.

      Your boundaries are completely reasonable, and I would even argue are minimal requirements to earn someone's respect.

      But other people's boundaries are completely superficial and entitled to the point where it always leaves me thinking "if you're that desperate for attention, just buy a spouse at this point." XD

    • the funny thing about all that is "what's acceptable" is often a sliding scale used by women depending on looks (I love how the "BIG LIE" is used... it really is the "little black dress" of women's lies)

    • Goodwifie

      @JustWorthlessMe I beg your pardon.
      You're calling me a liar without even knowing me.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • LXC9098

    Never try to make your love or partner as a center of your life. It's only one face of your life. Don't try to see/ judge every aspect of your partner and only choose by the aspects require to live and grow together in same direction. As no one is perfect. Look for inner quality like strong and ethical belief system and Never look for time bounded quality like looks, money, etc.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Very good

    • I'm agree with you in most of what you says, but I think we can't deny looks are essential for physical attraction and to have a good sex life. Although sex isn't everything in a relationship, it does matter.

      I'm fine being single, so I won't complain. I'd rather stay single than have sex with someone I'm not attracted to.

What Girls & Guys Said

88
  • Logorithim

    Excellent points, especially 2-4

  • CarpetDenim

    I agree with all of these points except for number 2. I want my partner to be a virgin and to be romantically inexperienced because I’m a virgin and romantically inexperienced. I place a lot of value on my own sexual purity and my own choice to abstain from casual or meaningless sexual interaction, and I want my partner to have morals that are similar to mine. That’s a big part of compatibility to me, and it probably is to plenty of other people as well.

  • BluesheepOwl

    The virgin thing. I am a girl who is waiting for marriage. That's how I was raised which I was raised with extremely messed up double standards that I hate to my core. However, I am too afraid/not ready to have sex. And I don't believe i will ever be so I just feel like I should wait for marriage. Even though sex interests me a lot and I'd like to experience it one day. I'm just not in a rush to lose my virginity and I'm afraid of pregnancy.

    I would prefer to have a virgin guy for my first time. Preferably in a serious relationship. It's not for the reasons you listed. I just think it would be nice to have our first times together. It kind of disgusts me to think about having sex with the guy who's been with a lot of women and had a lot of STDs. So I'd prefer a virgin guy. Not sure if that makes me seem immature. You could tell me if it's immature or not.

    I actually avoid the guys who put too much importance in wanting a virgin wife. Those are the rude, messed up double standard guys who basically see women as property and they would probably want their property in perfect condition. I don't want a guy that shallow in my life.

    • What I am saying is that if you like someone and want to date/have a full relationship with them, I don't think virginity is important.
      I don't think assuming someone without a V card has STDs is fair. Because when you brought up men "not wanting their property damaged" as being rude and possessive, you're right. But it's the exact same thing if a women says that about a man's penis previously being in another woman.

      You're not thinking about the person at that point, you're thinking about their dick.

  • Felinegirl

    Awesome take.

    I found the last point very funny, because I honestly don't feel like I have a type. The only deal breaker I've been able to keep up so far is "has to be able to have an intelligent conversation".
    In comparison: of all my potential preferences, the trait "Has a penis" has not even survived - ask my ex girlfriend...

  • Teenie1985

    The idea of a dream man/woman is ridiculous, but it doesn't mean you don't have standards.
    It's horrible for both of you to place someone up on a pedestal, then get crushed because some poor bastard didn't live up to your expectations of perfection.

  • BeHappy1985

    I was gonna come here and poop all over this but this shit is too long... https://youtu.be/5GgflscOmW8

    • Congratulations you are the only person who has ever shared this video.

    • Want me to send you some razors so you could end your suffering?

    • Yes please

  • JDavid25

    Good take.. I agree with and like the general idea of it, but I don't agree with everything in this take.. Still a pretty good one.. 8).. Especially the celebrity and the pretendin to have standards thing..

  • No_Archons

    Wanting a virgin wife is childish? I guess all our ancestors and the majority of the non western world is childish then. There's definitely not a reason for it, and the fact that the divorce rate is almost nonexistant among virgin couples is totally irrelevent. Who needs stable families anyway when we can fuck indiscrimiately?

    Its so childish to care about your future children more than sexual pleasure in the moment, your TOTALLY RIGHT DUDE how did I not see this before?

    • Thanks I'm glad you understand

    • No_Archons

      It took a while because it didn't really. make any sense at all, but eventually i learned to just turn my brain off and listen to the majority. Majority is always right after all

  • Lliam

    That was a very enjoyable read, SketchForger. And, from experience, I can't disagree with anything you said.

  • Dchrls78104

    I agree fully only with #6. Just mixing letters together doesn't produce words. We cannot afford to be reckless at relationships between humans, at least in my country, because men have been murdered doing so.

  • Azaleas

    People who lack standards aren't the ones I want anyway. They are super easy and go for anyone. But I know my worth and I have standards.

  • Joker_

    These are 7 reasons you don't like "Dream Girls/Boys"

  • All daft shit they can't do a real days work a bunch of sissy boys daft girls taken in

  • Michelleshalley

    I already have a dream boy

  • Secretgardenblood

    Good take

  • AnimeThot

    I am going to die alone

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