Search Results: keeping a guy interested

I'm almost 22. Being "in love" or in a relationship is so foreign to me. I'm introverted and independent, and quite picky... I'm very attractive, visually... Catching men's eyes has never been an issue, but keeping their interest or me keeping interest is where it all falls apart. I fear I turn men off because I'm into dark things and am a bit creepier. I'm also honest and upfront with most things. I've had guys tell me, (after maybe seeing them for a few weeks) like "see, when you say that or do that, I just wish you weren't SO weird," or they'll be silent and awkwardly laugh, or at first I'll get compliments from guys who tell me I'm so different and interested in things they've never heard of, and then I think they lose interest. I've also had guys fake interests or being weirder to attract me.. One first date I had a guy show me a creepy movie, or they'll send me things thinking it's what I like. And it turns me off because I know it isn't them. I'm a kind person.. I'm not going to change my interests or who I am either, but what if I never meet my match? I'm sick of being single all the time. It's such a bore 🙄😒

I've known this guy for a few years. we've been friends for part of the time. he's been mad at me for part f the time (long story but i kind of rejected him bc i was going through an aversion to dating phase but i never explained it to him so he just thought i was jerking him around) now we are friends again and we have been sending time together one on one and it feels like we are or are about to start dating. his behavior towards me is again reminiscent of the way it was when he first showed interest in dating years ago.

diference is i am now TOO interested in dating. however problem is over the time my feelings have gone from luke warm to very warm may hot, a general increase. his have wavered back and forth due to anger and confusion and my keeping very distant. so i'm quite sure he can't feel as deeply as i do.

so I don't know if i should date him bc i'm in love and i think it'd suck dating hm with my being in love and him liking me. id feel like i have to hide it and not feel too much, but i've spent so much time controlling my feelings and keeping distant that i'm just tired of being fake. i don't know if its worth it being with him even though i'm in love, if i have to hide bc it wouldn't be 'me'. i think despite my feelings, it'd almost be better to start fresh and date someone i just 'like' who just likes me. then wed be fairly even and i wouldn't have so much pressure having over me.

any suggestions, what would you do if you were me?

and if you were him, would you rather me move on or date you even if i'm already in love?