Search Results: the next level

So, I started chatting with a guy. Everything was going well we were getting a bit closer. We talked about sex a lot, more than I'd usually speak with someone I just started talking to. And then he disappeared. For more than a week. Just zero communication. Then he popped back up and I was very hesitant and he convinced me something was wrong with his phone and he had to have it fixed or something. So I said that's a red flag but continued chatting with him.

As he seemed to be interested in me I laid it out flat that there's a guy in my life who I had feelings for and I was trying to distance my feelings since I knew for sure that the guy liked me and wanted me but wasn't capable of loving me or us having a serious relationship (due to his next level work ethic). I told him I honestly don't know what would happen around that guy since my feelings seemed to destroy logic whenever we were in that position where I should say no and tell him to leave me alone. But improvements were happening though. He told me that was fine, he understood I was lonely blah blah blah. Then we started getting to know each other better and once while we were chatting he asked to see a pic of my undies... so I said no ofc. Then boom! Same thing happened again. Disappears for weeeeks.

He's back now and I just don't trust his motives. I always question if he's just being in-genuine. But he is a really nice guy, similar though patterns, and we have good chemistry. But I'm on the fence. The second time he said he left (basically ghosted me) because he was sad about how the other person I had feelings for was close to me and he was far away. The thing is, I have zero feelings for the person I was getting over now, and totally not lured by his charm anymore. But I still don't trust this disappear guy. Tell me your thoughts

Early/casual dating can be so ambiguous.

I’d love some suggestions/tips on how to communicate interest, find clarity of how he’s feeling about things, without coming on too strong.

Met a guy online. He suggested the first date which went brilliantly - lots in common, laughter, good conversation. It felt like we had great chemistry on all levels. He told me he enjoyed it at the end, we hugged, and parted.

He texted the next day to thank me for the date. I replied saying I’d like to do it again, then he agreed that he would too.
we kept messaging, but no mention of booking another date.
after almost 2 weeks, I asked him when he’d be free. He mentioned a time (his one day off in 8 days), so we booked that in.

We had our second date yesterday. The conversation still flowed well, we laughed a few times, and spoke about some deeper things, such as struggles at work etc. we’re both nurses, in high up roles with a lot of responsibility. so we just seemed to “get” each other.
I felt more nervous though, as I’m starting to like him a bit, and I was also sleep deprived, due to a poorly timed early morning phone call from work (which I did mention to him). So I felt like I wasn’t my best self yesterday, so was worried how I came across.
He also spoke about his family and friends, telling me their names, explaining who was who, and even showing me a photo or two. So he was sharing some personal things.
3.5 hours later, I ended the date.

Im not sure if he told me whether he had a nice time or not at the end of the date, as I was feeling a bit nervous, so my mind was buzzing a bit. But I did tell him that it was nice to see him again, which he also said back to me.
we hugged briefly, then he said “I’ll see you later”.

24 hours later, he hasn’t messaged me and I haven’t messaged him.

I enjoy his company, and would like to see him again. But I don’t want to come on too strong. I also want a bit of clarity.
So I need to say something.
Any tips/suggestions/advice?