How do you deal with an indecisive significant other?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend takes indecisiveness to the next level.

She won’t make decisions about of the slightest importance, it’s as if every decision is a monumental life choice. I’m getting very frustrated. Its like the idea if making a decision exhausts her.

She doesn’t like to make plans because of her indecisiveness, because she’s afraid that when the moment comes around she won’t want to follow through on the plans. This is with me, her sister, her friends, anyone

Food— she never wants to pick where we eat

TV— she never wants to pick what we watch.

We are trying to look for apartments, and she doesn’t want to go look because that’s a big decision.

Furniture for the apartment she doesn’t want to go look because decisions have to be made.

As a man I don’t mind making some of those decisions, but it’s also annoying because she knows she has a preference, and in the bigger decisions she wants to have a say, but it’s like the idea of making a decision exhausts her!

[jennifer_bloom]

I think she might have performance anxiety brought on by previous training from her parents and you should try to reprogram her if you want to stay with her in the long run - show her that she won't be judged or condemned if she makes a bad decision and that she can take her time shopping and doesn't have to decide on something right away and there is no pressure to make a choice she doesn't feel comfortable making if she can't decide whether to buy a particular couch or rug. Also tell her you value her opinion because you believe its wise and informed and worth considering. She might need confidence her judgment is correct to feel calm making decisions.

[Asker]

I know she deals with some performance anxiety, her boss has talked to her about not making decisions at work.

I try my best to not critique her when on the rare occasion she makes a decision. But when I reassure her she seems to get frustrated or annoyed.

She lacks motivation to do anything outside of work. We both work a lot, but that’s not an excuse to put off things that need to get done. I try telling her that these things won’t buy themselves, and you don’t just buy an apartment like you’re shopping on amazon.

I love her tremendously, but it’s hard not getting frustrated because these are things I want to get done.

[jennifer_bloom]

It will require effort and patience and repetition to get her to improve and this will change only if she is interested in changing her ways. Remember there can be much bigger problems in a relationship than being indecisive even if it seems frustrating at times.

[Asker]

That’s when I’m trying to tell myself. It could be worse.

[Asker]

I know it could be worse, but it is frustrating when you’re trying to get things done. The lack of motivation is where I have to really bite my tongue because I work more, my job is more demanding, and I have a long commute. I’m typically gone 13 hours a day, and yet, I still find the motivation to get things done. Like is it really that exhausting to go LOOK at furniture or go look at ONE apartment. I even try coordinating things with her day (s) off.

[Anonymous]

Dump her. I could never tolerate a child like that.

[moviedude714]

I would be annoyed by that