Search Results: he went soft

I feel like you have to put your race before your gender, or your gender before your race when certain topics come up. If you stand up against assault or the degredation of black women and girls that have been dished out by black men (and some black women) you are anti-black, loud, ghetto, argumentative, non-submissive, or a feminist (not that being a feminist is bad) for saying something. The moment you speak up about not calling little black girls "fast" for developing early, and say they should still be treated like children no matter how their bodies look you automatically get the side eye. Why don't you keep your predatory friends, acquaintances, and family away from children instead? She can't help her genetics. Same thing goes for when you speak up about how folks would sooner record a black woman being physically assaulted than actually come to her rescue when she needs it the most while they make up any excuse as to why she deserved that beating. There's also a lot of self hate in the black community when it comes to a black woman's dark skin and other ethnic features. What the fuck is wrong with the black community when it comes to this sort of thing? You complain about why black women aren't submissive or outwardly soft/feminine while that shit goes on.

However, if you stand against certain white or non-black WoC because they've said something really racist or micro-agressive about black people you're auto-matically an anti-feminist, anti-woman, or a stereotypical angry black woman who just hates white and non-black WoC due to "jealousy". Like, we don't dislike you for being white or a non-black WoC because people are born how they're born. If we call you out it's because you said/did something stupid.

Honestly, are we not allowed to be both black and women at the same time? Do people not realize we're angry because we're soft, and not because we're a strong black trope. Are we not allowed to be soft black women with justified anger on certain topics?

My boyfriend cheated on me by messaging another girl when he was deployed the first time but got busted when he came back. Then while I was away at college he messaged multiple girls but claims to have only met up with two (one for a dat and one for sex.) After being busted for that he asked me to "help him" and said he had a problem and can't fix it on his own...
He then gave me the information to his Facebook Messenger and allowes me to go through his phone at will.
It's been clear so far but it has only been like 2 months and he is deploying again. Should I trust him sense he seemed so desperate or should I be more worried?
He is really sweet and sensitive but a bad liar but he is also an idiot and soft to peer pressure.

I just don't know how much more I can take of this pattern...