A Pregnant Position

Jjpayne

(this is a dreamy and playful view of pregnancy and it is not meant to be based on reality)

Pregnancy, I honestly think it’s stupid. Why do girls just think they can skip work because they are having a baby? Half of the office is practically out on maternity leave! Us guys are given twice the amount of work and are expected to clean it up for them, that is why they were hired in the first place. Where is mercy and understanding for us? All the girls talking about having an office baby shower, it makes me sick. Why can’t guys do that? It is pretty dumb. I honestly would like the opportunity to show girls how to come to work! I’d have my water break while I am typing the final report, I will call the ambulance and let them come up the work floor and get me. If only I had the chance to prove it, I’d show them!

A Pregnant Position


Bitter and tired, I felt myself drift off to sleep. I woke up and I felt soft with a little extra weight. I took a minute to wake up and then I tried to swing up but I found it very difficult. It was like trying to do a push up being out of shape, it was clearly not happening. I took an extra minute to examine myself. My butt felt like it was a bit rounder and my chest had this additional weight on it. I moved around slightly and it felt like my arms were positioned differently and were slightly shorter and smaller than I remembered. My neck started to itch and I reached back to find my hair was a bit longer. There were so many differences to take in. I decided to do a turn and let my feet hang off the bed to push myself up.

A Pregnant Position


My legs seemed shorter which made me feel more uneasy. I quickly flung them off the bed and found it strange that my feet were too short to reach the floor. I pulled myself up and my back started to ache with pain. Then I felt my belly. It was so big now. I used my hand and felt it. I really needed to lose some weight. But then I all of sudden felt like I really had to go the bathroom. I really had to pee bad. But I was still trying to figure out how to get out of bed. Then it happened. Something inside my belly moved. My brain when to the movie alien, where the alien popped out the guys stomach. I thought this was it, it was the end of life now.

A Pregnant Position


I waited for the alien to pop but then my need to pee took over and I found a way to stand up and make it over to the bathroom. I turned on the light and stood in front of the mirror with my mouth wide open. Pee ran down my legs, at this point I did not care. I was clearly a woman now and I was clearly and very pregnant. My energy was weakening at a certain point and I found myself heading for the toilet and sitting on it. The hard plastic from the seat was starting to cause my butt to ache. But I sat there and pulled up my top and rubbed my stomach. It was therapeutic to me. It made me forget about the stress and the pain, if ever so briefly. After rubbing for a couple of minutes I checked out my breasts. They felt bigger than usual which is strange because this was the first time as a woman yet I seemed to know my body before the pregnancy. I looked at my breasts and wondered what people thought of them being so big.

A Pregnant Position


I felt nervous and anxious about them. Then I had a craving. I was hungry and I wanted pickles dipped in peanut butter. I looked at my urine on the floor. I saw baby wipes that appeared to be ready for the baby’s arrival and I broke open the package and wiped myself down and then pulled myself down to the floor and used toilet paper to get most of the urine up and then I used baby wipes to clean up the floor after. I grabbed the toilet seat with a hard grip and I pulled myself up onto it again. I rested for a moment then I quickly got up and washed my hands. Then I started learning how to walk, slowly let keeping up enough momentum to not give up. I made my way to the kitchen and had numerous stops to rest along the way. I made it to the kitchen and pulled out a whole jar of pickles and a whole jar of peanut butter. I cracked them both open on the counter and sat on the stool. I dipped a pickle in peanut better and put it into my mouth. I was in pure bliss.

A Pregnant Position


I ate until I finished the whole jar of pickles leaving about half the jar of peanut butter remaining. I found myself taking my finger and dipping it into the jar and pulling out a huge amount of peanut butter and putting it into my mouth. It was so good. Shortly after I threw both jars in the sink and washed my hands. Then I went back to my bedroom and found my way back to the bed. My back was aching both from the weight of my breasts and from the weight of my belly. My former male brain thought about going to work like this. I could barely make it to the kitchen and I was supposed to get to the car and drive. I had to be crazy. How could girls do this, I was clearly at nine months but I tried to understand even slightly better how girls made it to work like this? Why put yourself through that kind of torture?

A Pregnant Position


I adjusted myself more comfortably back into bed. I felt my belly again. Part of me thought about how I was going to lose all this weight once the baby was born. My brain trailed off into how I got pregnant. The father had gone to college in another state, I had not told him yet but I was planning to soon. It was tough having this baby on my own but I was pushing through for him and for me. The baby kicked and that brought a warm smile to my face. I rubbed my belly again. It is you and me against the world I whispered to my stomach. I relaxed with my warm soft body beneath the blankets. I closed my eyes and drifted off to rest.

A Pregnant Position


I woke up and I was my male self again. But something was strange about this. Something did not feel right and would not let me alone. I thought back to my reflection in the mirror. I did not spend that much time looking at my face. I thought to myself. I had this office job since I got out of college about a year ago. I thought about it and before I left my hometown I … I…. I picked my phone quickly and dialed an old girlfriend I had left behind to go to college. I had left like she had moved on so I had moved on myself. It was just an assumption. But she picked up the phone….”I have been meaning to call you for some time, I have something important to tell you” I dropped the phone, I was a father

A Pregnant Position
A Pregnant Position
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