Search Results: being lonely

I think it's so unfair , my instagram is opened in his cellphone , I accidentally left it opened and he doesn't wanna close it. He blocked me because he says he was tired that I blocked him when i got mad , but things are okay now , I blocked him because he was being aggressive , and we were fighting and i wanted him to shut the fuck up , that's why I blocked him. But now I hate that he is blocking me because it makes me think he hidessomething, he may be talking to a girl , he is actually my ex , but we've agreed loyalty. When I broke up with him I was angry at him , I ignored him for almost 2 months and I fucked other guys, he didn't like the number of guys and at first I lied I said 1, 2 and then 4. So when we got back and he found out and got very hurt, 1 month later I found out he was texting with another girl , they've only kissed. He said he did it bc I told him I didn't want anything with him in the future and because he was hurt bc of the lies, but that didn't mean that I was going to look for other men like he did , I would first break up with him. He said he would never talk to her again. And he says he is not talking to her , but the fact that he blocked me makes me wonder , because he still followed her on Instagram and liked his pics and once I got mad at him and told him and he didn't give a fuck , he still followed her on instagram and probably still like her photos, but that's why I wanna check his Instagram, because I wanna know about that girl , I wanna know if he still followers her and likes her pictures. I feel so insecure this way. Tomorrow I will tell him that if he doesn't unblock me on Instagram I will block him on WhatsApp, but I'm afraid of what he could say, I would hate it if he doesn't care , and probably he won't obey me since he always thinks he is right. What the fuck do I do. I'm tired of suspecting. But I can't leave my ex now , I feel so lonely and he is the only one there , and I still love him but it hurts to suspect of him.