Search Results: getting engaged

Lately, myself and some friends close to me have noticed that 2 work colleagues seem to have an unhealthy obsession with me.

Largely I keep myself to myself, and only engage in polite conversation with both males - as I do with everyone else. However, one of the guys has now attempted to make physical contact with me but touching my hand, when I was sitting eating lunch one day. I was sitting myself and he came to chat to me and touched my hand when he was conversing with me. So I decided to avoid him. Then a few days ago, he was seen spying on me from through a book shelf while pretending to place books on the shelf. As soon as I noticed he was crouched down there looking at me, I removed myself from the area. My friend told me he was then running around looking for me.

As for the other guy, he manages personal items that are ordered into our work place. The items should be placed on a reservation shelf for us to pick up - but he actually keeps my items so that I have to actually approach him to pick them up. He also makes comments when I try to collect resources from other collection points - insisting that I should be picking items up form his collection point. It’s getting tedious to be honest. And others are noticing.

Then, the other night I was approached by an odd guy dressed in a suit who started inquiring about my hobbies, personal life and romantic life. He was waiting to catch the same train as me and smiled when he saw me. He then approached me and said ‘sorry I hope you don’t mind me approaching you, but you look quite cute’ I just said thanks but felt quite awkward. He then sat with me for the 20 min train journey home, but never actually asked my name - which is weird. I feel as if he already knew my name and was looking specifically for me to get details. I’m inclined to believe he was hired to approach me by one of those 2 males. It was a seriously odd encounter.

I’m really curious. To be honest, I think the point of dating is to find a suitable marriage partner.

However, when I see couples who have been in a relationship for like 4/5+ years with no talk of an engagement, I find that quite peculiar. ESPECIALLY when such couples are financially stable and/or already have lived together for a period of time.

In my opinion, if couples are holding off on getting engaged for that long, it makes me wonder if they’re all that interested in each other - or if one partner isn’t as interested as the other partner... but they stay together anyway.

As far as I can see, after like 2/3 years tops most of the happiest and most devoted couples will be engaged or at least very close to engagement. When it’s been like 6 years and no one has popped the question, I begin to wonder why that opportunity hasn’t been taken.

We broke up 4 months ago due to his move to another continent (job-related). I wanted to try long distance, he did not as he believes it would be too emotionally draining for him.
Since the break up I did a lot of mourning and I am semi-ok now. We stayed friends but communication is weird (initially he told me often he loves me and misses me) and is now really sporadic and low-engaging. The last time we talked he wanted to have a sort of virtual date (watching a movie together), which I was kinda reluctant to do.

At this point, I am not completely over him. It is hard as we had a really wonderful relationship. I miss him like crazy but at the same time, I am still upset as he did not even want to give us a shot.

I was thinking about asking him if he is dating (already) or not. Expecting the answer "yes", which I think it might push me away from him even more. That would probably be beneficial in terms of getting over him completely.

What do you think? Should I ask him to get even more hurt and therefore really move away holding to him? Or I should just leave him alone? Should I even respond to his messages anymore?