Search Results: insecurities relationship

I am very confused about this boy who I am seeing, we have been seeing each other for six months. I am moving to china in September without him which he only found out two months ago , and we started out as friends with benefits. When I told him I wanted more he started acting like my boyfriend. He said he was considering moving to china with me and he starts talking about where both of us are going to move when we graduate he said he’s either moving to china or my home town. Then I called it off telling hime how hurt I am as I can’t see him as often due to his busy schedule but then got back together , I did this multiple times. Couple of days later he starts acting distant, he's tell me this is because he knows it will have to end as I’m going to China, He then starts to flakes on plans. One night he says he doesn’t want a relationship with me and wants to stop seeing me as it’s not fair on me as I want to see him more. The same night 10 mins later he decides he still wants to see me as he would miss me and he would regret it. After that he starts opening up to me telling me about his uncle dying , his insomnia and his insecurities, But also says we can’t see each other us much. His friends tell him they don’t like me but he doesn’t listen to them. Last night we decided to end it he comes round my house crying and I tell him I need to tell him something important ( that I love him) and he says don’t say it I know what your going to say, he already knew I was going to say I love u without me having to say it , but he doesn’t say he loves me back. He said he wants to end it as it’s not fair on me as I want a relationship and he doesn’t and he wants me to be happy. He tells me that seeing me wasn’t about the sex and he actually liked me but he lost interest, and it would have to end anyway. We decide on the same night to continue to see each other but in two weeks time as he says feelings will die down which is a good thing. For some reason he can’t end it and neithe

I’ve got to be honest, not much exciting happens in my life because I’m generally always working. However, lately I’ve found out I’m going to be staying away from home for six weeks of work - and have been placed in a really beautiful area of the country and in fully paid accommodation. So, I’m quite looking forward to that!

Anyway, I told my boyfriend about it and listed off a few places I might go in my spare time, including on local church. His response was ‘don’t you be running away with another man’ - which I just thought was bizarre, since I wouldn’t do such a thing. I know it’s maybe meant to come off as a joke, but it’s not the first time he’s said about me running off with someone else and to be quite frank, it irritates me. Even if it is put forward in a joking manner it screams insecurity and slight possessiveness, which I find quite off putting.

What do you think?

There is no right or wrong answer, I just want to see what people feel compelled to vote for. I want to make a post dedicated to the results. Thank you for participating! <3
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Here are the definitions to help you with your decision:

Lust is considered an intense or unrestrained sexual desire.

Desire a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.

" Desire can never be satisfied- That is what makes it so compelling."

Love is created over time through respect, care and other relationship maintenances.

Respect a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. (think friendships)
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According to an article on HuffingtonPost it claimed that, "Love is unconditional. The word “unconditional” means that there are no expectations or limitations set. To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most humans aren't good at that. But true love really does love without trying to change the other person."
(https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carol-morgan/16-characteristics-of-real-love_b_6237802.html )

So now I wonder, do we the people misunderstand lust and love when we go out seeking our future partners? If we seek out people who meet our expectations and our conditions, is it because we have fear, insecurities and need to feel a sense of control or is it because we genuinely LOVE a person as they are- a person who is imperfect and prone to mistakes. Do we lack love for ourselves and so we lust after others first? Do we believe in love anymore?

I appreciate you <3