Search Results: relationship with mother

27F, I just feel like I had it harder than others. I haven’t been sexually or physically abused but I had my share of emotional abuse. I was bullied as a kid up to in HS, I was raised by my grandmother who is very petty/fits the “mean girl” description in the sense that she has a big mouth, gossiped about her kids/grandkids with her other kids/grandkids and is a bit of a narcissist. I never really had friends growing up and to go this far in life still without those close friendships and never had a long term relationship under my belt is just so odd. I know nothing is wrong with me but this trauma from my mother’s vindictive side of the family, bullying and just encountering my share of drama with people I’ve come across is unjust considering I’m a very peaceful person. I’m very unsociable and usually now expect people to make the first move to contact me, with current “friends”, family and if a guy actually wants to make a move (which never happens). I feel like people always say things about how everyone goes through a difficult time and we all have a cross to bear. But honestly, I have to disagree. It’s all about the cards your dealt with and life is a series of good and bad luck, some situations are in your control and others not so much. I didn’t ask to be born into my family, I would have been a different person maybe for the better if I wasn’t raised by my grandmother. I wouldn’t have had to go with my grandmother if my mom didn’t divorce my dad.

TL; DR; Does anyone get envious and also under the impression that most people just have life a lot easier and shit is just unfair?

27F I’ve already confronted her about it & she apologized, but I know she will do it again. She’s been doing it since I was younger. I’ve always struggled with making friends and maintaining relationships. As in platonic, my love life has been nonexistent. With friends, I used to feel like it was one sided and I did more reaching out. Since college, I have taken a complete step back & usually don’t ever reach out first. When I would complain about someone not reaching out or if she asked how someone was doing and I said “I don’t know, I haven’t heard from them”, she would say “well you can reach out to them too”. When I was younger and I would playfully say I haven’t heard from her in a while, she’d say “the phone works both ways”. She always plays a game of devils advocate & I called her out. While she has a childhood friend that always makes the first move to reach out to her but you don’t see me encouraging my mom to initiate something for a change. She’s being a hypocrite, she makes comments about how I remind her of her mother, in the sense that she always has to reach out to us first. Maybe it’s anxiety from my end but people are just so meh.

Isn’t she wrong for doing this?

I used to believe in happy endings and true love before. This image shattered when my first relationship failed. He turned out to be a real sociopath; a truly toxic person.

My grandmother didn't marry her first (he got her pregnant and cheated on her) and she had couple other relationships before finally marrying someone. My father's first girlfriend left him and marry the guy she got pregnant with. My mother ended up getting my father. However, he was and is still my mom's first.

So is it more likely for someone's first relationship to fail than succeed? Or is it a 50/50? I envy people who stayed with their 1st and didn't need to go through the ''starting all over'' process like my mom. Then others like me, my father and grandmother who were unlucky.