Search Results: first date help, first date

I’m 20 yo female. He is a 25 yo male.

This guy was something else. We met online, started dating, really REALLY liked each other, shared that chemistry. We went on 4 dates in a row! Had sex (first time with a guy). Both wanted to take it slow in hopes of getting into a serious relationship. We dated for a little over 2 months.

He expressed that he couldn’t see himself in a serious relationship with me due to the age gap (he expressed his hesitancy early on). He told me that he wanted to stay friends but understood if I didn’t want to. This guy brought so much joy and laughs to my life. We both felt so comfortable talking to each other. On our first date... I danced in front of him.. I never dance in front of strangers. Anyways, point is that we were really into each other but set in for him. He was very honest and broke it off with me after I sensed something and asked if he still liked me. He told me he rather break it off early than later because he doesn’t want to hurt me.

I told him I still wanted to be friends with him and do stuff, as friends. Shortly after, I knew that I needed to go No Contact to process my emotions. I also told him that I would be the one to contact him once I felt ready. It’s been 3 weeks No Contact.

Should I brake no contact? Should I have a plan? Boundaries? I don’t want to keep talking to my friends about this shit... it’s annoying because I can make the decision by myself but I don’t have any direction. This guy was my first everything. I don’t believe in cutting ties and going my separate way. Please any insight will help. Thank you so much.

My ex was the first one that said he loved me on our third date. He told me he loved me every day, got me a care package, would spend hours on the phone with me. He was waiting for me to say I loved him and it felt like he wanted me to say sooner rather than later. He would buy my family little treats. He helped me with something that had to do with myself. I would always be going over to his place. (he's only been at my place a few times) It would be like pulling teeth sometimes if i want to hang out with him. He would tell me when he's leaving and going to places, he wanted me to do the same thing. He would give me his car keys whenever we would sit in the back of his car in the beginning. He waited for me to be ready to go out with him, told me at the beginning he wanted to be here for me and that he wanted to make it work with us. We talked about the future, wedding, kids etc.

So the first time me and this guy hooked up (we were in the car) he said something like "Does your boyfriend know your hooking up" and I said "no I don't have a boyfriend" then he "So you wouldn't hookup with me if you had a boyfriend?" I said "I mean ;) ... I don't play like that though" That was the end of that topic

Before we hooked up he called me cute, and I called him cute and he took it as a compliment (on text.) I asked how many girlfriend's he's had and he said he's dated 2 (on text.) When we hooked up he took a video of me and him doing it from behind, if that helps.

All these point to him not dating but I have his snap and he's posted on his story (something all his friends can view) of him laying on his stomach on his bed, with little of his face and his back (nothing suggestive) with a red heart were u can type text into. I don't know if this is regular guy behavior or not. But maybe his snap is just for his hookups? Or maybe guys post stuff like this on their story all the time and I just don't notice?

I’ve been dating this guy for about 2 months. He seemed very interested in me at first. Texted, arranged dates, called me every other day. Had sex early on into the relationship... probably at around date 5. Every date that we’ve had has gone really good. We’ve gone on about 8 or 9 dates. He started to get very busy with work and our dates started to become every so often his schedule aligned with mine. We worked around his busy schedule.

He went away to visit a close family member overseas for a week and communication pretty much went downhill. He snapped me once every other day, but posted on his story. He also left me on ’open’ several times—meaning that he did not respond to me. Once on his trip he wanted to sext, I turned that down because I’m not about that especially when you chose to ignore my messages.

He recently came back from his trip and hasn’t at all made the effort to see how I am doing. No questions about how my week went, no reasons for why he could message me for a whole week. I asked him how his trip was via text and got bland responses in return.

From what I have gathered from him/his behavior, he is either too busy to date or uninterested in me so that being said... here is what I think I should do (5 plausible options):

#1 Break it off/friend-zone him: Text him that I am not going to be a side-priority that he will pursue on his terms... and because of that, we should stay friends (if even that)
#2 Tell him that I want a serious relationship with someone who values me and doesn’t put me on-hold
#3 Ask him if he wants to go out this week, and if he feels hesitant, go to option #2
#4 Only ask him if he wants to go out this week and if he says no (or shows any hesitancy): he ain’t the one, or if he says yes then I will tell him in person how I feel
#5 Ask him what is wrong and why he is acting distant.

This guy would be my first relationship and I feel like this guy is really special and unique... so any advice will help me :)