#1: The potential love of my life
This guy is a 29-year-old Israeli-Turkish man who grew up in Germany and the UK. I definitely did not expect for us to have anything in common at first. However, after our first FaceTime video call, he told me that he would love to get to know me more. I was impressed by his honesty, intelligence and eloquence, and I love men who are a bit older and immediately tell me what they want.
He attended Cambridge, worked as an investment banker in London until it almost shattered his beautiful soul and now, he is back in Germany. Our first few conversations were deep, amazing, stunning, and I instantly felt like he could become my „Heimat“, my home(land).
As time went on though, I realised that he wanted a mother to his future children, not a girlfriend, not a wife, not a close friend. He told me that I would have to either kiss him or tell him goodbye after our first meet-up, which was too much for me. I haven’t french kissed a man yet – I kissed my ex once and didn’t use my tongue. I know that I like kissing from other experiences with women (I’m not bi), but his expectations were way too much for me.
He’s 6cm shorter than me.
#2: Weird but funny guy I will probably meet IRL
25, still a kid mentally but financially stable. The only thing I don’t like about this guy is that he calls me „dude“, „Kolleg“ and „Junge“, all words used to address men. Also, he flexes with his income way too much, I have no idea how much he actually makes but it’s just annoying because I’m not impressed by materialistic things.
I did not consider him that attractive at first, but he grew on me and I now really like his face.
He’s my height.
#3 The encounter that helped me heal
While swiping away on Tinder, I stumbled across the most stereotypical 25-year-old Austrian guy I could have met there: skiing instructor in Switzerland during the winter time, entrepreneur and university student in two cities during the summer time, politically engaged all year round.
However, after a few messages, he told me that he had visited a fairly small school (fewer than 200 students) in my province but that he was born 300km away. For Austrian standards, this is far. I know the school very well because I had considered going there. I did the math and figured it couldn’t hurt to ask, so I asked him whether he knew my former teacher (the one that I fell for/who was in love with me/who later kicked me out) and he did.
I was shook, terrified and amused at the same time and told him that I wanted to call him immediately, so we started texting on another app and had a very interesting phone call that lasted more than three hours about this teacher (who he adores and even clubs/drinks with to this day), growing up in Austria, how having German boyfriends/girlfriends never works out (they didn't grow up with the mountains and their lack of dialect is annoying (doesn't apply to Bavarians)) and finally we talked about politics.
Talking about my teacher with someone who knows him that well helped me heal. It also helped me to let go of my past and to accept that I have to move on from this terrifying experience I had at school.
I wanted to meet him but so far, it has never worked out because both him and I are all over the place right now physically and hence it is difficult to be in the same city at the same time.
He’s 14cm shorter than me.
I only wanted to talk about remotely positive experiences because everything else would’ve felt too depressing for me personally. There certainly are topics that I learned to avoid in order not to get insulted. I met so many guys who couldn’t deal with my level of honesty, with my Austrian humour or with my fake confidence.
I was very surprised by how much more difficult it was to hit up German guys as opposed to Austrian or Swiss guys, and I was not impressed by the number of insults I ended up with just because I didn't answer people right away. I mean, I was texting with more than 30 guys at a time, of course that's exhausting and not exactly an easy feat.
If you want to know more about my experience on Badoo, Lovoo and Tinder, make sure to check out this take on the key lessons I took away for myself.
Have you ever met someone online that you then also met in real life?
What are your tips for a first date with someone you got to know online?