Search Results: choosing between my friend and my ex

I went on a date with a girl, we both seemed to like each other, kissed at the end. Were going to go on another but ended up getting back with ex, but told me that she did like me though, but she wants to give him another chance, even though he treated her badly the first time. She said she wants to remain friends, we did and continued to get on so well. I felt like I should have fought for her origonally but didn't. My friends thought that she still liked me and that I should tell her how I feel so as to get it off my chest. I did so, and she didn't feel the same but was really apoligetic and said if she lead me on she didn't mean to. But she stressed that she didn't want to lose me as a friend, I said that if she thinks it would be easier on her relationship if we weren't friends then I would understand, but she didn't want to she said maybe we just speak less. I was going to say goodbye but she said she wanted to continue talking, we ended up talking and laughing for an hour, we left it as we'll talk later. This happend Tuesday and haven't heard from her since. I was wondering if we are going to be able to stay friends, I think she wants to but her boyfriend is really jealous of the fact that we talk and thinks there was already something going on between us, so I feel he would not allow her to be friends with me. Secondly, should I text her apoligising for causing a problem as we don't have many friends and we both agreed we love talking to each other. But she might now have to choose between keeping me as a friend or her boyfriend. Finally, should I leave her to herself and wait to see if she wants to talk to me.

Hi. Education in AUSTRALIA v USA.
In 2 years I will get citizenship of Australia and will be able to study for "free".
I want to study 3d art and animation - this degree sucks in Australia and I will be homeless on completion as no one needs artists in this agricultural country.
Another way - save money and go study to America. Their degrees in this field are somewhat valued in industry and I will have more chances to get at least some job.
Why I am choosing such a risky thing, why won't I just become a lawyer or programmer and avoid headache and life in sh*t? I am a retard who wasn't able to finish school but have great ambitions. I am maximalist, and attention-wh*re, I don't want to be just a monkey-programmer, I want to create something valuable and be loved for that.

But. Why I am choosing? I am basically orphan, I don't have parents who would buy me a car, give spare money on clubs and etc. I have rich relatives but their moral says that I have to be alone and suffer.
I am living my last year of being young and want something sweet in my life. I never had a girlfriend because of my ugly face, so I want to spend money on plastic surgery and maybe catch up all things I missed while I am still young and people won't point at me saying "pedophile".
I am 20 years old, all my ex classmates are married and finished universities, have cars, their parents gifted them apartments, my close friend has a child, and I never even was kissed or had sex for free. So its a difficult decision... I think its just not my strength and investing money on things that everyone already has and then be left without a career after is stupid. Its very painful to realise for me, there is no good decision. I just select between 2 bads and choose the least. Opinions, please.

She's literally my best friends, no one in the world I can be more comfortable completely being myself around, her heart is the kindest I've encountered and I think she's very beautiful. I've known her for 4 years and dated her for half a year, a whole year if counting the moment we confessed we like each other in a special way, I'm her first everything, she's not my first (huge issue in the relationship here) she's extremely jealous when she thinks of my exes, I don't even talk to or about a single one of them, but saying the word "cheerleader" literally would make her cry because my ex, her former friend, was a cheerleader when she was a teenager (8 years before I even met her), I was staying at my girl's place before having to leave the country permanently, we were both never happier. It was what I look for my whole life. A month after I left the country she actually said let's break up, because she can no longer be happy with me since "the pain outweighs the happiness" the pain being her mind making non existent connection between everything in her normal day, and my past relationship. I've tried everything including learning her native language to prove I wanna migrate to her country and work there, where she wants her future to be, also so her parents would accept me better. I literally have 0 problems with commitment and don't think of other women or even get curious. she repeats "it's impossible for this pain to go away no matter what, so we should stop" and now it's been a whole week since I accepted to let her go (she said she's staying in a relationship with me until I am convinced that she won't be happy, and she was right, after a month of this issue and her being unhappy I let her go as she asked). Can I have her back? she says she won't look for other guys for a long time too. I'm at the point where even jealous doesn't matter to me, I'm ok with her having another relationship, kiss, sex, whatever she needs. if she ends up choosing to be with me.