Search Results: emotionally distant

Here's the pattern in life:

drawn to older women since I was young. Ran from young girls. If someone is needy and hurt, I get drawn in to help (as long as I feel safe), help them find a way out and get better, soothe. Rescue them. A white night!

I've been drawn into wounded and needy women so many times lost count and some long term. Some men too, but men are not as interesting and a tough case. I enjoy the psychological challenge of rescuing a soul. I do this while keeping healthier ones and people at a distance, emotionally. Fear of intimacy. did that for a long time, getting better.

I feel good being a servant to others, a helper, and often would sacrifice myself, time, priority for someone else. For example, I might skim on food, but I'd give someone money to buy a car who is totally broke. I'll buy used to save, but give freely to those who don't love me back.

What I've summized on how I got here is this:
* Possibly a lack of nurturing as a child - my mom I think was distant at times, although I recall her being very caring as well.
* I was emotionally abused as a child and sensitive. just not strong, so I built up a defense to not let people in. I did not like people and stayed emotionally distant from them. After I turned Christian, I had strong empathy for others and turned my wound into a desire to help others... in effect nurturing myself I think. After I started to understand myself and people, I turned that to want to help others get to a better place. It's a lot of what I think about.

Understanding oneself is hard, hard to get perspective. Have you had something like this and how did you get to a heathy life balance?

Ladies, how would you tolerate being with a mate that skimps on themselves (penny pinch clothes, food at times, used cars and stuff) but can be drawn into other people/women emotionally to help them and give freely and happily? Assume he doesn't cheat physically, but others can get priority of his heart and mind easily.