Search Results: finding a letter

We fought a lot towards the end of our friendship. We had had a "thing" and then he told me he was just using me and that he was just very physically attracted to me. He said I am still his best friend and that he feels like he really hasn't liked me for a long time. I was really upset that he said he had just used me because he was lonely... so I told him we couldn't be friends and that we needed to go our separate ways. Friends don't do that to friends and we had been best friends for a while.

He wrote me a letter saying how much I meant to him, he loved me (as a friend) and some love song reminded him of me and how much he wants to be with someone like me. Then, two months later, he took back the song and said it's what he thinks I think of him... I was pretty mad so I called him out on lying to me. I said he must really be in denial about liking me... the way he talks to me, looks at me, I can tell he still has some kind of feeling for me. Not sure what it is.

Anywho, so I called him out on lying and we haven't spoken since then. He said he needs time to think. I've so enjoyed not having to talk to him... is that awful? We had so many great times and I am going to miss them, but I don't know if they are ever coming back. I just keep finding more lies. He changes the story about what happened b/t us all the time. It makes it seem like he liked me all along and he's still trying to convince himself that he doesn't and never did.

Case in point, should I feel guilty for enjoying the peace of not having him in my life, begging for me, then lying to me, being fake and then acting like he likes me/then he doesn't like me? Maybe we can be friends in the future, but I don't know about right now. I could still see us dating, that's the scary part. Sometimes I wonder why he wants to be friends so badly.