I'm 18, and I've never had a girlfriend. My life just sucks anymore and it keeps getting worse.

[Anonymous]

I'm 18, almost 19, and I've never had a girlfriend. Never came close to having one. I realize that people older than me are in similar situations, but that makes me feel even worse about being depressed over this.

I'm about to graduate, and I have nothing to leave behind. My life is just getting harder and harder to bear. I'm losing interest in everything I used to love doing. Writing was a hobby I used to have, and I was damn good at it too. Always being told how gifted I am, always being complimented for my huge imagination... That's all over, I can't do it anymore. Writer's block for over three months now. I've tried finding other hobbies, nothing helps. I tried to kill myself late last year - didn't work out, obviously. Psychologists and psychiatrists try to help, and they prescribe medication that either makes things worse or doesn't do anything at all. My facade of complacency and confidence is gone now, I can't fake it anymore. I'm miserable and I beg for death every day. This is really personal, but it needs to be said: I can't ... Masturbate... anymore. I've become an atheist, a nihilist, a bigger misanthropist, and a bigger pessimist. I can't sleep at night without taking pills to help with it. I can't do any work. I can't concentrate on anything. I can't even gather anything up to walk out of the house anymore. I have no self-esteem. I've written a suicide letter in one of my more in-depth fantasies. I've been taking pills over the recommended dose, simply because I don't give a crap anymore. I can't watch TV, I can't play games, I can't read books, I can't do ANYTHING. I don't have the spirit for any of it. I don't have the will to go out and get a license or a job. Apply for any colleges. Take a damned ACT. I'm falling apart!

Know why all of this is happening to me? I have no girlfriend. My depression is causing all of the above, and the only reason the depression exists is because I don't have a girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend nor will I ever because I'm a hideous freak. I'm the ugliest kid in school and get reminded of it daily. I'm really nice to people, I'm funny, and I help some of the school rejects get friends so they won't feel like I do... I USED to anyway. Now I sit alone and expect everyone to leave it that way.

I'm so hideous I can't even bring myself to show my face in public anymore. People always staring at me. f*** it.

What the hell can I do!?! I've asked this question before, and I haven't gotten an answer that will help! Nothing is helping! I feel like my life is over and I'm not even 20 yet. I'm still a virgin. I've never been kissed. Never had a girlfriend nor have I even come close.

Why am I like this!? I haven't done anything to anybody, yet my life is worse than anybody else I know. I need help, but help never comes.

What can I do to make this all just stop? What can I do to get a girlfriend? What can I do to be happy?

[art84]

Dude, I feel your pain as I can relate to not having a girlfriend and I am 26 years old! I don't consider myself ugly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you believe that you are ugly then guess what, your will always be ugly in your own eyes. Why do you need a girlfriend anyway? Your 19 years old and you make it seem like its the end of the world for you. I have had girlfriends in elementary, middle school, high school, and college who I just considered friends and nothing. Heck most of them just saw me as a friend and nothing more, no problem. Stuff like their friends asking them if they liked me and them saying no made me feel like sh*t. Its like your stuck in the friend zone and just gonna stay their with these girls.

I've never asked out a girl until after graduating college in 2004. Got the guts the ask out this chick who I had a crush on. Things didn't work out as planned, she basically teased me on us going out. Had excuses from being busy with family and told me she never liked me and would never got out with me. I found out she met an older guy who is really handsome and has life in order(car, job, and apartment) and they fell in love and started seeing one another. He knocked her up and they got married and been together since 2007 and have two kids together. The mom was way overprotective and tend to not want her daughter have her own life. She couldn't go out with a guy for fear that she could get pregnant. Things happen for a reason maybe your first love won't be your first when its all said and done. The girl was average looking, Hispanic, flat chested, model type but had a lot of anger and seemed like she was all that a bag of chips. Basically way too mature for me and looked down on me not being mature as her.

There's another girl I known since 95 that was shy and gave me attitude for not talking to her. Anyway I ended up meeting her again after graduating high school as she went to same church as me. Its like our lives crossed paths again. She started saying hi to me which kinda surprised me. Stuff like "Hi, Arturo" then disappearing from me. She always had a huge smile on her face when saying it. She would come looking for me and scream my name outside in front of strangers. Anyway I ran into her a few years back in college, we talked and she asked me what I was doing sine I no longer attended the same church. She got sad when I said I was church hopping. Told me she enjoyed talking to me would hope to see you later. I ended up seeing her at church that Sunday after service. I was standing outside with my family and was facing the entrance of the church when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and a giggle and a hand grab. Turned around and the girl had this huge smile on her face and her mom was with her and then they walked away. I told her hi but was surprised by the hand grab with turned to a hand shake. I honestly think she likes me more than a friend from her signals. We're both in our late 20's by the way.

[Blobb]

Sorry to be a d*** dude, but get a real problem.

Depression is serious. But not having a girlfreind or never having had one is not.

Here's what you can do to fix it. Make yourself useful to the world. Enrol in some kind of overseas volunteering for a charity organisation. And go help people in dire need. People who wanna live but might not have the chance to do so because of their circumstances.

I'm serious about that. Let me tell you why you should do it, apart from making yourself useful. This is a way of feeling valuable and being valuable. When you help someone else who needs it you can truly consider yourself a good person. You will find your self esteem again, and maybe your joy for life. Then when you come back, just talk to girls.

And you will get a girlfreind.

Looks don't matter for sh*t, I've got ugly freinds(sorry guys if you read this ^^) with very cute girlfreinds. And I can see why, they have amazing personalities, are interesting, funny, smart, charming, and have a fucload of funny/interesting/crazy stories to tell.

Being social is a learned skll, so beign good with women is also a learned skill and in consequence so is gettign a girlfreind.

I've still got a small feeling of troll. I dunno...

[134663521198]

You saying that not having a girlfriend shows your lack of understanding human behavior. Try living your whole life without ever having to attract and spend time with a individual you wish to share your time with and see how much it isn't a problem. Although I'll give you credit, you were right about one thing. You are a total dick.

[EMCI33]

Ok. Firstly, as someone who has dealt with depression I need to say, it is NOT an issue with his character. Not only was this a crappy card to play, it was the flat out wrong one.
He has been going through MAJOR self esteem issues due to this and calling him a troll is NOT helpful.

Legit if he is pondering these issues which I have no doubt he is, then saying what you have said is actually negatively impacting him. Well done...

[CatsOnTheMoon]

One, let me start out with, the depression your going through, I can't even relate to it, but I understand that you must feel alone and hopeless and everything must be so dark :(. I don't think your problem is that you don't have a girlfriend. I think part of it could be you just have lost so much self esteem that you feel like the attention from having a girlfriend would help fix that. I am not judging you for that, it is normal for anybody to seek that attention. However, may I suggest building back up some self esteem? Maybe try writing again, I know you say you have writers block, but even if you are just writing something small, even if it makes no sense, writing a bit may help you. I don't think it's going to be easy, I don't think your depression will instantly vanish, but I feel like a big help would be learning how to love yourself and be ok with who you are. Also remember to take care of yourself, you deserve your good health. On a last note, I am probably wrong about some things here as I am just speculating, so forgive me if I am. I just decided to take a chance because I wanted to try and help out..

[Anonymous]

nooooo! you know what I have guy friends in high school who never gotten one single girlfriend in their entire life.. and they tell me it's because they're too shy and they feel so insecure or something.. well don't be because many girls don't even care what you look like as long as you have a great personality... and plus high school is just all divided up into groups.. while college/university isn't... they don't care whether your hot or not.. popular or not.. people are just outgoing and down to earth in university or college..

and since your graduating why not ask a girl out? you ain't got nothing to lose sine you probably might never see them again cos you guys are graduating. really just ask a girl out, don't fear of rejection it'll just stop you from doing things.

[ashleyb93]

Believe me there's more to life than having a relationship especially at such a young age. Just make some goals for yourself in other areas of your life and work twoards that. There is so much more to life than just being in a relationship it's really not all that great. Just focus on yourself

[MikeK]

I feel you man. I'm not ugly, I'm actually pretty good looking, but nobody cares. Some of us men are just straight up doomed, no matter what we do. How did you try killing yourself? I've been experimenting with these sleeping pills at night, I want to end it too. Just trying to get the balls to amp up the dosage...

Yes, not having a woman in my life is part of the cause of it but not the whole picture. My friends have abandoned me, I can't get a job...

We're in no condition to be with girls anyways. You think a bitch wants a guy who is always crying and doesn't have any money? We're better off without them

Good luck trying to get answers on this site, it's about as helpful as talking to a wall.

[hardcandy9591]

Your life has barely begun my friend, stop worrying about the things you don't have and appreciate what you do have...there are so many people suffering from illness, poverty, crime, death..and the one thing you are worried about is having a girlfriend!...believe me it is not the end of the world if you don't have one or never did. And if having a girlfriend is the so called "solution" to your unhappiness, then you have a lot to learn. Because if you always depend on others for your happiness, you will never be satisfied in life. Be constructive, better yourself, no girl wants to be with a guy who is not doing anything for himself. Focus on getting your life together whether its going to school or working. Have a postive attitude and let things fall into place naturally and everything will work out in the end.

[dsrdakota]

You know dude. I feel your pain. I'm a psychological mess as well. I've been on soooooo many meds since age 8, I quit everything cold turkey at 18 because I was sick of it. Then I realized that one day after passing out behind the wheel that I needed that one medication for seizures. I've tried different meds and now I'm wondering if I have schizophrenia aside from bipolar disorder. Bipolar depression SUCKS I feel like I'm gonna kill myself daily as well. I've attempted at least twice with alcohol.

What you should do is look at yourself in the mirror. Do what you can do to improve your happiness, confidence and self-esteem. You're not a useless piece of shit, you're the greatest man alive. Repeat stuff like that to yourself every morning.

Girlfriend... Don't rush. Talk to girls with confidence. Honestly I would not know because I've only had a Friend with benefit relationship.

[Broken_InSide]

u really broke my heart :(. why do you think you are ugly? there is no such thing called ugliness. you don't have to get a girlfriend to be happy. believe me you are better off.

just answer my question so I can comment.

[Asker]

There is such a thing as ugliness. I hear it every day. You've never seen my face, you would change you mind then. I'm sorry if I'm coming across as cold, depression does that to you.

[Broken_InSide]

u didn't tell, why you feel that you are ugly?

[Asker]

Bulbous nose, no eyebrows, beady green eyes, no chin, no jawline, coarse blond hair, [somehow] a double chin, pale skin, huge ears that are oddly oriented, huge lips, and a gigantic forehead. I'm also short.

I was told sophomore year that I would die alone and miserable because I'm so ugly. I didn't want to believe it at first. Still don't, but I do believe it.

[Broken_InSide]

do you think beauty is everything?

u need to be confident, successful, sweet, caring in order to attract ppl. beauty can attract the wrong ones, the shallow people who only care about how you look rather than what type of personality you have. I can't believe that you are that ugly. try a mekeover and dress nicely, learn how to speak with manners.

i've met a lot of people who you can classify them ugly, but after I'm used to be around them, my eyes stopped c-ing the outside and the inside really reflected.

[Asker]

I wish beauty wasn't everything. I tried not to see it that way. But it is. That explains why I'm so miserable.

[Broken_InSide]

well then can I c a pic?

[Asker]

I don't like people seeing my face.

[Asker]

Sorry.

[queenofpeen]

Wow, I can't even imagine feeling like that :( Just curious, why do you place so much importance on getting a girlfriend? What makes that so important to you that you feel THIS bad over it?

[DocilexElle]

Please please please see a psychologist or counselor. It's free at the college.

[moviedude714]

I hate how women are allowed to seek validation but not men

[owenwu]

Its funny because I am in the exact same position as you as far as dating wise. I did take the act only once and got a 34 without studying. I can help you with that.

[Anonymous]

If you keep thinking so negatively things WILL only get worse.

[134663521198]

Might as well tell peoplewho are depressed to not feel depressed. On that note, why don't you go tell someone to walk it off... when they have a missing leg. Your way of thinking is very helpful... retard.

[furlee33]

i want to speak with you please. i want to help you

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can get plastic surgery

[Asker]

Yeah, that helps a lot. I'm too poor for it.

[Opinion Owner]

ugh well maybe its cause your so damn moody I mean come on girls will sleep with any guy that pays the least amount of interest in them