I'm in this state of emotions after me and my friend (best guy friend) hooked up..

[Anonymous]

I'm in this state of emotions after me and my friend (best guy friend) hooked up. he didn't give a f*** about me much when I went to see him after he moved away. he seemed cold towards me. but the 3-4 years before that we knew each other, he'd always be happy and want to be with me. he knew I liked him and he's my friend. we messed around one night and I ended up sleeping with him. the next day he says to me that I'm cute and I should have no problem finding other cute guys. it meant a lot to me and I'm close to virgin compared to him. he said I shouldn't put myself on a pedestal. he tried to text me and how I was and I kept ignoring. then he wrote a letter saying basically it's up to me if I want to end or keep this friendship. I called him and he still thinks that it was 'just' sex. now its been 2 months. I felt used. but he said he didn't like me but he still took from me. now I lost a friend and I hate him. why does he even have me on his friends list? I admit I hurt still from this experience like I didn't matter. that it's OK for him to just let go. and I really don't want him in my life. he doesn't even want to date me after this happened. I contemplated dropping him from my 'friends' list but haven't done it because I feel it's immature. but at the same time, this guy is full level douche. I never knew he was this bad after 3 years of friendship. he might be moving back to where I live but by then I don't know anymore. after hurting me this bad, I don't think I can give him a second chance. is there any point to keeping him on my friends list if we aren't really friends anymore? and I find it awkward to talk to him now because we've seen each other naked, he's being a douche saying it's not a big deal. help

Updates

+1 y

would like someone who can answer to help me. not tell me 'you should have known better' etc. thanks...

[candlewax]

How is he a douche? What did you think, the sex would guarantee a relationship? Believe it or not, when guys have sex, emotions aren't always involved. It sounds like you had too many expectations out of this entire thing. Ones that he wasn't up to meeting. That's on you, not him. You handled the entire thing kind of immaturely. Ignoring him? Being upset he didn't want to be your boyfriend after hooking up?

You need to get into the real world and understand it's not like the movies. Sex does not equate a relationship, as much as you want it to. It's not some magical turning point between two people and they fall in insta love because they saw each other naked. I know that in an ideal world, a lot of women would like it to be that way, but it just doesn't work like that.

If anything, he should be the one who doesn't want to deal with you. You set up far too many ridiculous standards for just sleeping with the guy and are behaving immaturely and selfishly about the whole thing. It says a lot about you that YOU want to throw away this friendship that you speak so highly of, all over sex and not getting your way afterward. Was he really a friend, or someone you were waiting around for until he decided to date you?

[candlewax]

Response to your update- sorry you can't see outside of your "me" bubble and this isn't gushy and side with you. But you cannot be helped if you can't even see what YOU'VE done wrong. Evaluate what you've done and figure out from then on out. In all honesty, there's no real help until you get past your immature outlook on the situation.

[deeleedee]

This person is right as well. Sorry if we're not saying what you want to hear, but it's the truth.

[Anonymous]

I think the best you can do is to move on and to accept it as a mistake, no matter how much he says that it isn't. You can pick yourself up and find a better guy and be happy. It's bad if he's a friend and he's willing to take advantage of you even if you let him. that's MORALS, there is a moral issue and if he was a friend and knew how much it meant to you, then he should have stopped.

It is what it is and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. some girls here are a bit mean but you take advice that helps right? don't repeat the mistake obviously you're not OK with what happened but don't expect that he'll turn around to date you now. take care.

[Anonymous]

You left yourself be used. Just saying.