I hooked up with my best guy friend, what next?

[Anonymous]

My best guy friend and I have known each other since we were little kids, we’ve always had each other’s backs and know each other so well. After 20 years of friendship, we hooked up recently and it was amazing. We live far away from each other (states away) and dont see each other often. We’ve been texting a lot since then, friend texts and sexy texts. He wants me to come visit him again and I really want to; however I don’t know if I should tell him I have a crush on him or not? Should I just keep hooking up with him and see where it goes? Or is he just enjoying that I gave him “the best head of his life”? (His words). I could see myself marrying him and I don’t want to mess this up. I never have questions about guys because I normally know what I’m doing, but with him he got me all twisted up in the game, cool points out the window. (Bonus pts for getting the reference lol) But please help, I don't know what to do

[Anonymous]

It sucks that you live far away from each other.
The fact that you guys hooked up after 20 years of friendship is amazing, but weird that it never happened before.
He never knew you have a crush on him?
I kinda wonder if you guys are in love or if he just thinks it's friends with benefits.

[Asker]

So he actually told me 10 years ago he was into me (I don’t remember the exact words) but he told me that he liked me. The only reason I ddnt tell him I liked him back then was that I literally got kidnapped two weeks before and sex and intimacy was the furthest thing I wanted. I told him what happened to me and I said that we were both going to be at separate schools and that he should go and sow his wild oats and that if after doing so if he still liked me that he should hit me up. The night we hooked up recently I brought up that night that I just stated above and he was so happy that I remembered it, we then proceeded to talk and get drunk and then cuddled and hooked up so I’m not sure if he was stating he still felt the same way

[Opinion Owner]

Wow!
That's complicated, the kidnapping is crazy. I hope you weren't assaulted or anything.
10 years is a long time, you're really gonna have to text him and see where his head is at now.

[Asker]

Ikr super complicated, unfortunately gross sex assault things happened that’s why I was so not wanting to be close with anyone at that time. We have been texting a lot since then and it’s been mostly about him wanting to come see him again. He’s cute so there’s plenty of girls who are after him so he can get sex anywhere else, yet he seems interested in getting me there for that so I’m unsure if he just likes how I put it down (which is how my past 2 relationships have started with one night stands) so I know I’m doing that right or If he’s still interested

[Opinion Owner]

I can't really help you.
I've only been in long relationships and I'm like already in love with them before we ever fuck.
I moved in with the first girlfriend I ever had and we were inseparable.
You're kinda stuck in a long distance thing.
You guys need to go on a date and get some real, quality time together.
Or message each other daily.
It's gonna be difficult, but hopefully you guys can find a way to have a fulfilling relationship.
I hope it works, you seem excited about it.

[Asker]

Thank you for all your help! I understand that’s the natural way about going through this process. It would be best to be close and in love with someone before having sex I know, I ddnt intend tht with my last relationships, I wasn’t using sex to get or keep them it just happened that way. That kidnap ish made me think that is all guys want from me and then those guys immediately were in relationship mode so that did not help that thought process Smh. I will keep being the chill bestie he’s always known but try to feel him out and find out what he’s thinking. I’m super excited about it, no matter how much time comes between us, as soon as we’re together again it’s like we just saw each other yesterday. Thank you so much for reading and responding, this means so much to me :)

[Opinion Owner]

No problem.
Honestly, if it's meant to be it will be.
You don't have to worry about screwing it up or playing it wrong.
I just hope you don't get disappointed.
Sometimes we build people up in our minds, I hope he feels the same way about you.
If you're truly a match the communication should flow freely between you two.
There should be no confusion.
I hope he texts you and tells you what you want to hear.

[Anonymous]

'I could see myself marrying him and I don’t want to mess this up.'

Being sexual without creating strict boundaries sets a bad example. A woman that has the sense to create strict boundaries before becoming sexual is what will build respect, not this.

[Asker]

This is a great response thank you, are you saying I should have asked all these questions beforehand? Because if so I’m not great at that, I have been in 2 long 5 and 6+ year relationships that both started with a one night stand so I have no clue how to actually start a relationship unfortunately, I just know how to get and keep a guy like that (I was the one who ended both of those relationships by the way)

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

proving that guys and girls can't be just friends

guys, this is exactly why the friend zone doesn't exist. if she's "putting you there"

DROP HER

[James_Likes_PPL]

No save your self for marriage.

[GenaBaby1995]

You lose ur best friend ☹️