I dated his best friend before I met him what do I do?

[Blondie-411]

I have this guy friend who I have liked for awhile now. We have so much in common and I swear he is the perfect guy for me, but there's one problem I dated his best friend for 5 months. Now its not what you think I dated my ex and then met this guy. Things didn't work out with my ex long story.I found out his friend liked me after awhile, but he ended up back with his ex. Then they broke up and we were both single, but he didn't seem interested anymore, but I still was and still am. We hang out all the time because we have the same friends and we are the only single ones in the group. He is always leading me on and flirting like he does have feelings when were around each other, but when were not around each other its like I don't exist. We have never went on a date or ever been alone. I don't understand why I like him so much if he doesn't feel the same. I've been single now for 9 months and haven't went on a date not once sense my ex and I broke up thinking there is still hope with my friend!

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

I'm confused. You say that when you are by yourselves he flirts. Then later you say you have never been alone.

With that said, I think he may be interested, but his friend (your ex) and he had a conversation that went along the lines of not breaking the bro code. In this case, it's the rule about not dating or seeing the ex. Not all guys follow this particular rule, but some groups do, and those are groups that take the rules very seriously. Like, one slip up and it's beat down time, and then the offender is outcasted.

He's probably trying to play it safe, he doesn't want to offend anyone, or appear to be playing in the gray area regarding the code.

If that's the case, you guys could work out, but it's going to mean that the two of you sever your ties with this group, and then commence the relationship. Literally, in that order. If you do it backwards, it sets you up for a bad situation.

So how do you get the ball rolling? Well, simple and plain, you need to talk to this guy alone and get him to commit one way or the other about any feelings he has about you. He has to make the direct statement "I like/love you", or whatever is appropriate. Then you will have to tell him about your feelings as well.

Then you both have to decide where this is going to go, and what sacrifices need to be made.

The rest is up to you guys.

Good luck!

[LoveYourself17]

If this something you really want, then I would talk to your friend about it and see how he feels about this. The longer you keep inside it of you, the more it'll drive you crazy. Good luck!