Best friend led me on and now I found out he has a girlfriend. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

My best friend knows how I feel about him and he made it clear that we could not date since he doesn’t do long distance relationships. (He lives in FL and I live in MA.) I told him that I understood and we could just be friends, but to please tell me when he starts dating out of respect for me and my feelings. He agreed. Well, a few months after we had this conversation, he mentioned that he wanted to move. He kept hinting that he was going to move near me and we could try our hand at a relationship. I was excited and looking forward to having him near me regardless of what we became. He led me on for many months and then randomly told me that he sold his house and bought a place in WA. I was shocked that he did that and a bit hurt, but being a good friend, I told him that if he was happy I was happy. I pretty much wrote off any relationship between us because of the distance issue yet again. But then, he told me not to worry and that we would figure it out. He led me to believe that someday, we would be able to live together and start a relationship. So then two weeks ago he told me that he had a showing of his art at a gallery and wanted to invite me to go see it. I couldn’t go due to my busy work schedule, but I told him that I was proud of him and that I looked forward to seeing pictures from the event. So tonight, he sends me some pictures and a few screenshots of his Facebook page where he posted it and on one of them, he accidentally sent a picture of him kissing some woman. The comments were all talking about how beautiful his girlfriend was and one said they can’t believe that they have been together already nine months!! I was heartbroken, because he had led me on for months pretending that we could be together and that he was moving near me. Also, had I gone to the event, I would have been blindsided by his new girlfriend. I was upset that he didn’t respect me enough to tell me that he was seeing someone. Now I don’t know what to do or say. Please help!

[SueShe]

You should have realized from the start that such long distance relationships cannot work and that your infatuation was one-sided and not reciprocated.

You wanted more than a best friend can or is willing to give because if there is more, it is clearly no longer a best friend but an other name or adjective.

You never learned not to trust a person that you only know through social media. This is a red flag and he also hinted that he does not do LDRs.

You had to find out the hard way but the positive thing is that you caught it before more damage was done to your ego and your emotions.

There is only one reasonable thing to do and that is to sever all ties with that guy because he emotionally cheated on you and led you on. If you persist on holding onto that LDR, you will only hurt yourself even more and it is time to make a clear cut and learn from your mistake. Good luck.

[Asker]

We knew each other in person not online, but he moved away from each other after college.

[SueShe]

The problem with LDR is that the lack of intimacy is almost always leading to problems. Mainly men have a harder time to remain celibate and the consequence is invariably most often what you have just experienced.

[DishLady]

There's nothing to do or say. Stay tf away from this jerk and move on.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Well look, you're going to get advice about how he was this and that for leading you on, and how you should make life hell for him..
However if I were in your shoes? I'd delete everything to do with him. Remove him from everywhere, giving him zero chance of being able to contact you again.. and THEN? put those 9 months down to a bad experience, and poor judgment on your side.

He doesn't deserve having you be upset over him!

[TommyMountainFigure]

In the long run, he will realise if you DO what I suggest, and especially after his relationship with her breaks down.. what he's lost.. Only by then you will be stronger, and not so susceptible to his bull twaddle!

[Anonymous]

Live and learn. It is almost impossible to trust a man.

[spartan55]

As if women are trustworthy...😂😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

Lead him on now

[SueShe]

and how will it help her in her situation?

[Opinion Owner]

@SueShe Revenge

[Opinion Owner]

I’m just kidding Sue

[SueShe]

Revenge does not bring anything constructive and only makes the situation worse because you use the energy to get back at that person rather than to be more constructive.

[Opinion Owner]

@SueShe I know its a joke, my friend Sue, you know me I like to joke

[SueShe]

being anonymous, I can say with 100% certainty that I do not know you.

[Opinion Owner]

@SueShe I can guarantee you you know me 100% my friend. I can also drop you hints which you could figure out in One sec