Search Results: if i date him he'll hurt me

I've seen many women on this website who have complained of guys leaving them after they had sex with them on the first date, and i don't even understand why they do such stupid things and come complaining about them here, i mean how can sex from the first date be any good for a relationship? It's basically a one night stand but with people getting hurt, and if the guy doesn't leave them after that then the relationship will be built on sheer physical attraction and zero to no emotional connection whatsoever which will make the relationship one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for the more sensitive partner and a headache for the other, don't people see the negative sides? The only positive side is the pleasure of sex which is as minimal as any casual senseless hookup
I mean instead of that bullshit, go find someone just for hookup and nothing else, where's the love in case of sex of a first date? There's nothing but lust, and if lust comes first then love is pretty much dead because people are just ignoring the fact that loves come first, not lust

Years ago, I developed feelings for a friend. I let the romanticised thoughts of us having a relationship together build in my head to a point of obsession and eventually couldn't take it anymore. I told her my feelings; if only to get it off my chest.

She didn't feel the same but asked if we could still be friends. I agreed, though I was a little hurt at first and I fell into a depressive stint. Being rejected got me thinking: "I look for qualities I in a woman, but what can I possibly offer them?" At the time, I would have described myself as: depressed, tubby and no self esteem/ self confidence.

I joined a gym and started dieting. Lost a lot of weight and while I don't mean to brag, I finally feel confident due to my newly formed attractive body (less flab, more abs). I'm also a hell of a lot more motivated and out going than I once was. As for my friend, we would sometimes talk over the next couple of years; but only a few times. Nothing bad; we just didn't end up talking that much.

We recently started talking again and I noticed she seemed different around me than before. Eventually, she told me that she'd developed feelings for the "new me". (my words, not hers) and asked if I still felt the same? I told her I needed to think about it because... well... I'm not sure it's a good idea to date her...

On the one hand, I still have feelings for her and it would be a dream come true... But on the other hand, I spent years telling myself not to feed this obsession for her and to move on with my life; it was unhealthy and damaged our friendship. I've changed so much ( I think for the better) since I confided my feelings in her that I find myself asking if she's even really in love with me or my new sexy body and newly found confidence. Then again, isn't that why I made these changes: to seem more attractive to the opposite sex?

Do I give into my urges and have a relationship with her? Or do I continue to tell myself there's nothing there and we should both move on?