#LoveYourself
VALENTINE'S DAY

For Singles, How to Cope Now That the Wondrous Valentines Day is Coming...

As well known as it may be that V.D. is an overrated commercialized holiday, there comes a wondering of what the fuck singles can do on this shitty day where couples already obsessive about their lovey-dovey BS have even more of an excuse to shove their fortune in everyone's face. Being that the amount of my life that has accounted for actually dating vs not dating, I can understand a bit of both aspects. Combined, it doesn't even add up to two years of my life that I had somebody i was dating. I know the feeling of the dreamy love world. It feels great! And it's hard to connect to single people around you when your head goes above the clouds. I tried so hard not to let that happen to me. I didn't ever want to show off that I was in love when 90% of people around may not have ever had a partner in their entire life time.

But alas, I was stuck in the moment, knowing how fortunate it truly was compared to the single forever life I had come to expect. But again, what are some solutions one might ask? And maybe not just Valentine's Day, but on a daily basis with so much media being about getting this girl or guy and pulling apart people who have never tasted what it's like to go to anywhere with a partner. It took so long to find music, etc from high school up until now to find singles music and especially not involving a damn breakup! It's a huge reason I left my mainstream pop, rap and eventually screamo emo stuff not too long after in order to get deeper, more solid anti love stuff. Here's a list. I'll try to add if anything pops into my mind.

Music

I Hate Love Songs -GWAR

Many things by bands like Hammerfall is pretty bold, self improvement focused music.

I highly suggest metal along these lines to escape from the ever so annoying break up or love or songs with good lyrics until the "I think of you" part comes on. Metallica has some good self reflection music for sure with stuff like The Unforgiven and Shinedown of course has their Simple Man cover. If you are to embrace the so called #LoveYourself hashtag I've seen around this site now, metal and some rock easily get people away from the constant illusion of love and can be a great coping mechanism. Look into Nuclear Blast Records for stuff like Alestorm that are just plain fun like this one:

Metal is awesome and it's not very often that they are all lovey dovey. Excellent way of saying a big FUCK YOU to society for making so much bullshit about the concept of love.

In rap, Hopsin has False Advertisement, Ill Mind with all the different parts, etc that I'd say is nearly pro MGTOW. (I don't like MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) 100%, but it has fair points sometimes).

SIDENOTE ON MGTOW! Be weary of where you get info on it as some of MGTOWers obsess over bashing women and have started to ruin a movement that is supposed to be about single men empowerment. Going into rants about why women are bad isn't what the movement needs to focus on, but rather society's BS ways when it comes to men and women. To single heterosexual women, if you want to get inside the mind that many angry men feel, as ugly as it can be, MGTOW sources show a lot. Try to understand it. It may be difficult, but there is so much of it single men embrace even if they have never heard of it. The same exact themes MGTOW says, whether really horrid or not, is discussed between men on a daily basis, so if you ever do come in contact with men with some sort of love interest or sometimes just in general, acknowledgement of what MGTOW and the red pill movement is can be helpful however re-pungent.

Anime

I can say without a doubt that this show needs to be watched by single people. This can be like our anthem show. Welcome to the NHK is amazing and deals with more than just being single, but several problems that both cause and go with it. Watch it!!! (If you are a single male, some of the quotes and scenes you'll see I can guarantee you will connect with. For single women, if you want to understand the male mindset, this can be an enormous help!)

Do not get thrown off by the first few episodes. This is a deep and even depressing anime but it is one of the only ones that can connect so deeply with those of us who are single and have always been left out of normal society. I loved Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood..... but I like this series better. If that doesn't say a lot, not sure what does.

Then of course, there are many memes and things you can do and see on this treacherous day so you can look past it without the depressing feeling of being alone. Know this. Relationships. Are. Not. Mandatory. For. A. Happy. Life. Get goals and achieve em! Partner or not! Marriage or not! Hell, why not consider using the day to bond with people of your same gender! Spread round the bro love and take pride of the bro code. And for gals, enjoy being a gal! Hang with bffs! Or if you are like me, enjoy your extra cash! And know that you aren't risking it on any possible illusions!

Know that sometimes, it is society and the fault of ways of people where we live that we don't have a partner or friends. People are often judgmental little shits. Selfish and not accommodating for any little difference. These people that often dominate society are stupid af and being anywhere near them is a waste of time and effort. Be strong and don't be intimidated. They desperately die for your respect. Give them none. In this case, even apply a Satanic rule. "If anyone hurts you, destroy them." You'll save yourself as well as others future trouble. Call out bullshit. Don't be afraid of being alone in the way you think, as Einstein and geniuses like him were often lonesome and misunderstood as well. Yet way smarter. Take the wealth of knowledge and wisdom over love, romance, society, etc anyday. Trust me, I think it's more than worth it in the end. If anyone pressures you to "get a gf/bf" tell them they are more than welcome to do the work!

Story Time!

Told my older sister that once. She said "oh just look for somebody else" I told her "ok, if it's that easy, YOU go out and find somebody who may be a good match and get them to me!" Ofc like most people "I don't have time to do that! It's not my job!" My response? "Ok then. You proved yourself wrong. Finding a partner is harder than it looks. So, STFU about it. Got it?" We have not had that sort of conversation since.

Second Story

My step mom once told me that being not in America, that there are better women and maybe I will find one. I told her up front, I am where I am to learn not to focus on finding dates and shit! She backtracked on what she said and was more than impressed with the answer.

So ya see, partners can be a pain in the ass. The whole concept of romantic love is. Say ok and watch as people around you rise and fall into their clouded head of illusion-ed love as they experience great dates and the cheating and heartbreaks that nowadays always seem to follow. Never trust that anyone is worth being a partner. Always prepare that anyone could turn out to be an asshole so prep for it especially when it comes to love, as vast amounts of money and time you do not want lost over something trivial like it.

When I dated the second time, this method helped a lot when we ended it after it was apparent I would not be back home for quite a while. I have not bothered to put forth effort into attracting anybody. Why? Because I know myself. I know my ideas about society are amazing and rare at least according to those out there that are smart. So, if anyone, man or women, wants to see a deeper taste of my mind, they are more than welcome to approach and see all it has to offer. And if they want to go further, sure, maybe I'll give it a chance....

What I am saying is, don't ever be so pressured to have to have somebody special whether on VD or not. Sometimes people in your surrounding area just will never understand what you have to offer. And when you ever get a chance to show how great you really are, if the world dares allowing to give the opportunity, it is up to you whether to take mercy on those who never gave you a chance. I have told this or similar advice to some guys on this site. They were more than happy with it! So there's already proof it people can in fact catch on! It it not too hard a concept!

A last note is that I entirely realize this a has a slight bent on helping single men. I am not a woman, so I can never fully understand the concept of one. It's difficult to speak from a perspective other than a guy and especially one who is considering dating other guys now.

So if any other ways to cope you can come up with, music, movies, etc, feel free to say so!


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Most Helpful Girl

Most Helpful Guy

  • I mean I'm very principled, I am vehemently against Valentine's day. I am of the opinion that Valentine's day is immoral, moreso than every other holiday (that I can think of) because it is exclusive. It is not all inclusive, it excludes people and it hurts millions of people around the world every year simply by way of its existence. In my opinion there is no excuse for it to exist because anyone truly in love does not need a day to motivate them to show it, and as all ready stated, it hurts people, it antagonises people, and it is exclusive.

    This is why regardless of whether I am with anyone I flat out refuse to celebrate Valentine's day, always have done and always will do. It's selfish, immoral, hurtful and exclusive.

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    • Exactly the point! Glad somebody got it! It's not just Valentine's day, but it's no doubt a famous example of showing off the love that most just do not have and it is in fact VERY exclusive. In some countries like Japan, they have a day for SINGLES. We need that BADLY adopted. It's BS that people are so expectant of EVRYBODY to be dating, to have dated, to want to date, or to be married. These are all CHOICE. These are all CIRCUMSTANCE. Thank you for your opinion m8. I wouldn't say it's the only exclusive one, but given how often people are single rather than not, it's high up on the list.

    • Well the other holidays I considered were Christmas, Easter and Halloween. I do not consider any of these exclusive as anyone can be included if they want. Their religion may not allow it, or try to oppress their free will to enjoy them, but as an individual they can be included. Valentine's day very definitively excludes people who are not with someone. Even st. Patrick's day, I know people who enjoy that without being Irish or Catholic or anything. I can't think of any others that are truly exclusive personally. Thank you for most helpful anyway.

    • Np. Highly agreed. In theory, just about any other holiday can be celebrated by anyone. Seen it done plenty. In theory, I guess some can be seen as exclusive because of certain attitudes, but in the end, they aren't often are not on the level of Valentine's day. There's a good reason Bob the Potato lead in upvotes and very quikly on this cliche sappy contest. Valentine's Day Photo Contest: What was your most romantic experience? ↗

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What Girls Said 8

  • I dont believe it at all. Being single my entire life so I dont even know what Valentiens day is. Never dated before eitehr never ever had a boyfriend so Valentien day for me is a lie and does not exist

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    • Man I thought I was in a tough spot, frustration-wise... you win... lol

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    • @kitty71 But I thought you said "Never dated before eitehr never ever had a boyfriend"

      But I guess it was only a one time short thing that doesn't really count as a date to you? I just think that the results of those chemicals, the desires generated from those chemicals are all but false, completely false in our heads, not real, not more real than anything we thought or expect it to be. I also learned and realized the deep deep truth, that emptiness is reality, emptiness is truth, nothing is ever truly permanent or would last indefinitely or forever, and that one must learn to let go and not dwell on things that make us miserable and unhappy. just let things go. Simply because, there are just way too many things in this world that are entirely beyond our control.

    • @JudgmentDay When I said I never dated before or had a boyfriend it is like really the truth. Because I never had a boyfriend in my life or really dated in real. THe guy I mention i just met him 3 years ago but before this guy I never had a boyfriend in my past or nege really dated and with this guy in particular, he is not my boyfriend or even a serious date, he is more like a friend, only that with this friend I had been out twice in a 3 years period and I even made out in those 2 dates, but that guy I can't count as a boyfriend at all or even a serious date anyway. Do for me I still dont haev any kind of boyfriend exorience or even date experience, I can't count that guy as being a boyfriend anyway. The odd part of it all is that the guy had given me signs he is attracted to me and I became attracted to him when I met him only 3 years ago, the very very first time ever in my life I found someone around my age and wth similar interests.

  • I don't know why people care so much. I have been single for every valentines day except two years ago and I never felt bad about it. It's just a marketing ploy.

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  • I've never had a meaningful relationship. Tbh, I've only had one relationship. But I definitely would like to have a loving partner… Wishful thinking. :/

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    • You are 14. I think many young people are growing up too fast these days. You do not need this. You need to enjoy your childhood, your youth. You need to enjoy and love yourself, and embrace adulthood when you are truly read for it.

  • step one: realize that it's just another day and move on with your life

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  • Being single on Valentines day isn't a big deal to me at all. I just can love myself by doing things by myself that I love ^^

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  • I don't even care that day.

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  • I really couldn't care less about Valentine's Day.

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  • I don't really have a problem with other people "love" I stay home watch movies eat ice cream listen to a bunch of different movies but I can't say much considering I never had a boy like me in real life

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What Guys Said 15

  • In the beginning, when I was in my early 20s I felt the same way, moping and sulking about shit like this. I'm actually in my Mid-30s by the way, profile age number isn't my age in real life. Back then I was still completely deluded about things like dating, relationships, "love", etc. At one point, I even felt jealous as fuck and held grudges and hated other people for being in relationships and happy couples, etc. But now, I'm completely disillusioned about all those things, thus no more grudges. They aren't special, or even unique at all, and I really just stopped caring about things relevant to them, including Valentine's Day. In reality or actuality, relationships and dating isn't all that great as they're expected or made out to be. I realized all the troubles, hard work, miseries, and drama I'd otherwise would have to face had I took risks and done those things. I realized that just because you finally have a relationship, it doesn't mean you'll be happy and that it's all set and done.

    NO! Because there is much hard work, sacrifices, struggles involved, you have to be able to maintain a relationship and relationships can unexpectedly end AT ANY TIME, therefore it means you can't solely rely on and depend upon someone else for your own "happiness", "fulfillment", or "completeness", that's ENTIRELY on you to decide what would make you "fulfilled", "happy", and/or "complete". I do feel that since I have nobody then I'll never have anybody to lose nor would I ever have to worry about losing anybody else, so it's a BIG relief, and if you realize this sooner or later, you'll feel relief too. Having someone and losing them is a lot harder to deal with and remaining single chronically and indefinitely as far as I can tell.

    But more importantly, I realized that so called "love" thing is NOTHING more than the results of chemical reactions in our brains and our bodies, in particular to Oxytocin. It's all a COMPLETE FALLACY AND DELUSIONS. All a bunch of infatuations, lust, physical attraction, desires, all but falsely in our heads. Oh it's there alright and it's there for a specific reason alright. It's really just there and exist to ensure and increase the odds of us mating and procreating to reduce the odds of us from severely depopulating or put our species at risk of dying out. Thus, nothing new, special or even "unique" about it.

    Once I became disillusioned with it all, I became free, I simply just don't give a fuck and decide to live how I want to live.

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    • So you are not 20 like it is said in your post?

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    • @serious The jealousy that was once there is completely gone, instead I find and feel that it is completely irrelevant and redundant in my life now, basically I feel numb about it and it's like whatever, has no real or actual importance to me at all anymore.

    • It is manageable to stay single forever. It's not easy by any means but at least it is manageable.
      Being single means it's all about just one person - it's you. And only you alone.

      So you can do what was one suggested in another mytake for the gals and "masturdate" yourself.
      It's you!
      You, who you look after.
      You, who you care about.
      You, who you are with.
      Because even in the shadows and dark times your own shadow leaves you.

  • you should remember that valentines day is a bullshit "holiday" created by companies to make people think that men should buy women expensive things and make women think that men don't love them if they don't. fuck valentines day! its fucking stupid

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  • I enjoyed reading this. Usually I can't read every single word but this one, I actually did.

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    • That is awesome. Glad to hear I may have that magic touch, especially since if I develop a blog or youtube channel one day, you bet there's going to be content like this. Makes writing these way more worth it. Glad you enjoyed it!

  • Valentines day is just another waste of time I guess. I celebrated Valentine's day by buying myself 2 small-medium chest full of chocolate and candies, binged netflix... that was my Valentine. I love myself. :D

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  • I don't even acknowledge Valentine's day. I can't believe some people care so much and actually get depressed because they're single on Valentine's day.

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  • You’re single on Valentine’s Day. So fucking what?
    #firstworldproblems

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  • Just do whatever you would be doing if it wasn't Valentine's Day. That is what I've always done.

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  • It’s all about metal!!

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    • Exactly sir! Hail Satan and rock the fuck on! \m/

  • Groovy

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  • I just got used to it actually

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  • I'm single but I love valentines day.

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  • By making money

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  • If you are single and have been single for life like me , Valentines Day is just another normal day. Just don't think about it bro and avoid going to places couples would be such as movie theaters, restaurants, etc. Also I watched Welcome to The NHK as well about six or seven months ago , it was an amazing anime, definitely in my top 5 hahah. But here's the good thing, you save a lot of money on Valentines Day if you are single, teddybear, flowers, chocolate, taking girl out to restaurant all that together is like fifty dollars lmao.

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  • I just focus on my personal goals.

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Valentines Day
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