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I see my brother playing his video games or watch the new favorite TV show and I asked him something and sometimes he just doesn't listen because he's talking to his friends or watching a show..

Tonight, I said to Mom that there were some plates on the dinmer table right after we got McDonald's and she said to Arthur and me that we must clean up after ourselves. He said to her that he wasn't old enough to do his dishes or clean the plates, but she said not to talk back to her — which I feel is censoring his free speech.

I had a long conversation with my brother while talking about the dishes and saying I hate doing stuff our parents don't tell us to do. Obviously his fucking DAD is lazy, likes to fucking golf or cheat on my mom or yell at his younger brother. I told my brother the truth and he says, "no he's not he just expects me to be mature and trains me to become a man," but I left it off nicely saying "I know, my dad did the same thing to me; but obviously every dad is different."

I yelled at my brother (he's 8½) several times because he didn't listen to me while he was watching TV. I said I hate him, blah blah blah. Mom came downstairs.

I did this salute SEVERAL TIMES and said "hail our math teachers" (since the ones I had were against multitasking and open mindedness) and "hail our country" in front of my brother including that one recent moment our mom was with him. It fucking bothers me that neither of them called me out for doing the salute.

I told my mom apology is just words like "I'm sorry," and she said bullshit like "but do you mean it?" and I said both no and yes.

Mom told me uhh ur not his father or mother dis n dat DUHH urgh only task is to bee niccee to hiimm and watchim DUGHH. Mom accuses me of "making stuff up" and "forgives me" after I heard clearly the truth.

I didn't make any EXPLICIT references to suicide (since my parents heavily frown over that), but I said to them I don't know what to do in life, I don't wanna do anything IN LIFE.