Search Results: harder to approach when you really like her

When I say “dangerous” I don’t mean a guy making some asshole remark like “fuck you cunt” or something else when a woman (politely) turns him down. Him showing some frustrated anger is NOT getting “dangerous”. It might not be appropriate and even creepy. But there is a fine line between him being sour grapes vs. being a legitimate threat.

I’m talking about a guy seriously getting physically violent, legitimately threatening violence or aggressively stalking afterwards. I’m talking in person stalking too (not stalking on social media). Like showing up at the woman’s house or at her work.

I do believe men like this exist. I make zero excuses for them and it’s twisted/wrong. But I also believe they are very rare (less than 1 out of a 1000 men). Instead women get paranoid because of ANECDOTAL evidence. They read a story online or hear of friend of a friend having a legitimately scary incident. Then they get this bogey man complex about men in general.

I say this because I think this paranoia has made women progressively worse in the last few years at tactfully rejecting men. They rather play games, ghost and of course friend zone and rationalize it to themselves out of a misplaced paranoia. When in reality all they have to say is “hey thanks for approaching me but I have to be honest I’m not interested”’. While no guy likes hearing that the reality is 99% of men out there will accept that and move on.

But why is it so hard for women to be (politely) honest? I think the so called rise of the “incel” community is partially attributed to men being frustrated about not getting direct communication from women. The game playing does more psychological damage then they realize.

Most men can take rejection especially in our mid 20s or older. We are used to sticking our necks out and taking the risk. It unfortunately comes with the territory but it is how it is.

This is something I've always wondered. As a very shy and reserved person, the thought of approaching someone randomly on the street, at a public space or even at work, terrifies me.

Because of that it's very hard for me to make new friends. Online, its easier of course, but in real life, it seems unfeasable.

And I'm not talking about things like people writing their phone number on someone's arm. I'm saying things like: "Hey you seem like a cool person, my name is ___ maybe we could hang out?"