Search Results: questioning myself

I`m a 30+ European who met a 36 year old American on Tinder in my hometown. I didn't plan anything to happen between us but it did. We`ve been together now for a year now. He is treating me good, our relationship is full of adventure, laughter, romance and good sex. He met my family and some friends and adores all of them. I met some of his friends. He knows I want a family in the future and he was kids oriented too.
He currently lives 3 hour drive away. In couple of months he is moving back to the USA. (he is currently here due to his work (army)). Right now we spend about 3-6 days per month together and occasionally some vacations.

I told him I love him few months ago. He said he knows but never replied back. I didn't bother much.
We haven't talked about what will happen when he will go back. I think we are postponing this discussion as it will be hard I`m willing to try long distance and maybe even move to the states in the future, but he doesn't know that. I`m planning to have this talk few weeks before his departure.

But now sth happened. During some discussion he told me he doesn't want kids. That he is too old. I was in shock and upset as he never mentioned that before. I didn't know what to do. I pulled myself away as this new information frightens me.

Later I asked him what does it mean that he never replies when I tell him I love him. After a silence he said he cannot say that back to me. That he is not "there yet". If he is not there yet, after a year, will he ever be?

All together got me rethinking our relationship. Feeling all sorts of stuff: from questioning if I am not worthy of love to feeling deceived. Am I just his temporarily European GF? Or is he a closed off, emotionally damaged soldier trying to not get attached to people?

I dont know what to do at this point. Either to continue this relationship or break it off. One thing is for certain: I will close down a bit as this is my defense mechanism.

Any advice or opinion is appreciated.

I'm an 18 year old woman, almost 19 years' old. During my last year of high school I began to get really tired. I had a 4.0 gpa and was on the honor roll. I dropped out for a month to get my GED and the same day I got a plumbing apprentinceship job.

I think my plumbing boss was a stoner and very annoying. He only paid me $300 for 7 months and hardly taught me anything. I'm a petite and short woman, I'd work very hard to dig up rocks for him. However, like I said I'm small. It was very hard to lift things and I'm only 110 (115 on a bad day) pounds. He got really snappy with me one day for not 'neatly' stacking gallons of walls against the wall even though he's very whiny and sissy. He would get grossed out by dirt and poop and try and act like I couldn't lift things because I'm a woman. When he realized I could, he started trying to make me lift 80+ pound things and questioning why I didn't! That's not all! He also kept inviting me to Hooters and the bars. I believe he was an annoying, sexist, creepzo I quit. He tried threatening me about a book I borrowed and I let him have it!

Second job was a factory job that didn't last too long at all. My coworkers were very annoying (especially the older males). I quit after my coworker had to get eye surgery because a piece of metal flew in her eye.

I decided to go to college and I feel burnt out. I'm sick of having bosses and stupid jobs. I'm a quiet girl and I have a very high pitched voice and I'm soft spoken. I usually get harrassed by men or bullied by older women.

I don't like to work for males anymore because a lot of older males prey on young women when hiring them and come off as weird.

I don't want to go to college to get in debt. I'd rather work for myself. I love interior designing, decorating, building and creating things. Unfortunately, those jobs can pay very low. I don't know what to do.

What is your plan?

I'm in this situation
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years
I really am in love with him
He's close to few people at his work and his gym
But he stopped talking to the guys at the gym due to reasons and he stopped talking to his other friends he met from high school as they all become distant from one another
And he doesn't hang out outside of work with his work friends
And he stopped talking to his family because he had really bad history with them from childhood because of physical abuse from his father and no protection from his mother
So anyway
At first I was fine with this
And I have introduced him to most of my friends and now we're all friends
But ever since his birthday, I was thinking about few things
I organized his surprise birthday party and invited my friends
Then all my friends are all questioning me like
"where's his friends?"
"doesn't he have his own friends?"
And then I had to kind of explain why

But it kind of hit me...
Especially when my best friend said to me "make sure he's not dependent on you, like people that doesn't have any friends or not close with family, needs someone there for them, they're very fragile people"
And then I told her "hes not really clingy though, he has 2 jobs, he's focusing on his swimming training and gym most of the times, and he doesn't mind seeing me once or twice a week but he does call me every night to talk, but he's not dependent on me"

But then Im thinking to myself "what if we get married? Who is he going to invite to the wedding? Is it just going to be only my family and friends? Who would be his best man? Etc etc"

Is it a bad thing if you date someone that is not close with their family and doesn't have much friends?
I really do love him
Im so in love with him
he's such an amazing guy
He treats me right
he's so caring and affectionate
he's always there for me when I needed him
he's never cheated on me
he's the best boyfriend I've ever had