Search Results: reacting to sex

I'm watching the second season of Sex Education right now, and there is a scene where Eric tells his love interest that he is "different" when he is at church, "more serious".
That hit me hard.

I'm exactly like that - I'm never myself. I never show my sexual side to my parents although they'd take it okay. They can make jokes about sex and I'll always react in a really awkward way for no apparent reason. I don't want them to think that I get it. I don't want them to know what I'm into either.

I'm not myself around my friends. I don't talk about things that are important. And I always feel left out.
I only talked about why I used to cut myself with the guy I mentioned in some questions who I wanted to be together with but who wasn't into me anymore.
I would have absolutely hated attending church with either that guy or my ex. My ex couldn't keep his hands off me and that was extremely embarassing, I had to tell him 20 times that he was not allowed to touch me at all when he met my parents and then he held my hand before he went in. I'm still angry about that actually.

It's sad to think about it but deep down, I've always known I'm like this. I started hiding certain aspects of my life from others when I was four. It's a decision I've made - ever since, I've been very secretive.

What about you? Are you always yourself?