Why girls should be more grateful with guys

aspiegirl_

Just so you know, this is only my opinion and I don't mean to offend anyone, if you're one of those extreme feminists I don't recommend you to read this. Yes, I'm a girl. So... Yeah, keep reading if you want.
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I've noticed (and I'm sure you did too) many girls complaining about guys not being romantic, for being picky, for cheating, for ignoring messages/calls, for treating girls like of their bro's, etc.

Honestly, I don't understand why you complain a lot about all those things if it's your fault (calm down, chamaca or I'll hit you with a chancla 🙄👐🏼).

Let's analyse each point:

1. Guys not being romantic

Okay definitely this is the one that I REALLY hate. Why do you think guys aren't that romantic anymore? Just think about it, I bet you have no answers (if you're a girl) or if you do, one of them might be "Because they are cold, they don't love us, the have this macho behaviour" etc. Well, nah, you're (kinda) wrong. Guys know the real answer, and again, I'm a girl, but most of my friends are guys so I understand a bit more about the way they think. So the reason why guys "aren't" that romantic anymore is because many girls tend to act like divas when a guy is trying to flirt or trying his best to make you fall in love with him. I have this female friend, let's call her Spoon. Spoon is beautiful, «she got a body that'll make a preacher say, "Goddamn!"» (not really, but she's beautiful and with a nice personality if she likes you). Many guys like her, she knows it and she likes that attention, but one day, one of those guys wanted to surprise her with flowers, he (knife) bought a bouquet and gave them to her, I instantly thought "That's so sweet of him!". Knife was a discreet handsome guy, he wasn't like a Greek God but he was "average" and with such a beautiful personality. The point here is that once he left, she gave me the flowers and said «Ugh. Thanks but not thanks. I like flowers but not when they give them to me, this is too cheesy, ewww! I think I'm gonna die of diabetes because of the amount of sweetness, yuck». Obviously that knife found out what Spoon did, it hurt his feelings. UGHHHHH!!! AND YET YOU STILL WONDERING WHY THEY'RE NOT ROMANTIC?! OH, PLEASE! Of course they won't be romantic if you keep discouraging them, they're trying to make an effort to win your heart, some of them spend hours thinking what to buy or what to do to make you smile even if it's for 2 seconds. But if you reject them in that way, if you humiliate them, if you make that horrible face that means "I don't like this 😬" when they give you flowers, letters, or whatever, of course they will notice it and hence the first thing they'll think is "She doesn't like flowers, nor chocolates, nor letters, not even the playlist I made for her so... What can I do? I'm trying to do this the right way but it's not working. Girls do always the same, I won't do this again, I'm just wasting my time, and spending lots of money". That's when guys stop being romantic. Because we make them act that way. Spoon used to say «If he wants to be nice, he can give me gummy bears instead of flowers and I'll marry him»... Really? 😒 That's not romantic at all. I know there are many Spoons like my Spoon friend.

Stop being fucking dramatic and let them try their best
Stop being fucking dramatic and let them try their best

2. Guys being picky

We all have our preferences. Girls are picky too and more than them so I don't know why you complain about this if you do the same.

3. Cheating

Okay so, why would you cheat on your boyfriend? Because he doesn't give you what you want or what you think you deserve. Right? Well, that's the same. Many guys tend to be more sexual than girls, and that's true, guys tend to cheat if they don't have sex. If you keep making excuses or if you keep saying no when he asks you to have sex, of course he'll get sick of it at some point. Sex is like something you need to "stay alive", it's like the air we breathe. When you're thirsty of course you want to drink water in order to feel well, right? That's how sex works too. It's necessary. So if they get sick of your no's and «Not today, I have a headache» of course they will try to get it from someone else. And you do the same, if you don't get attention from your guy, you will get tired and you will find someone who can do what he doesn't. Of course, that doesn't mean guys have to force you to have sex.

3. Ignoring

Come on. Space is necessary. If you want a relationship to work, space is the key. Guys need some time to themselves, they need time to be guys, and socialise with they friends. You do the same, you spend time with your friends so why can't they do the same? Just because they don't text you back quickly, doesn't mean they are cheating on you, or that they don't like you. They could be busy with their parents and you're just making a huge drama because he read your message and didn't reply. Come on. Let him breathe!!!

4. You're one of his bro's: this is 100% your fault if you're a girl because many girls aren't that feminine anymore. Keep cursing all the time, and behaving like guys, so of course if you behave this way in front of them, they might think "I couldn't introduce her to my parents... That's not good"

5. Not being a gentleman

Guys know we can do many things by ourselves. But they just want to make things easier. They can see us, they know we have hands, and arms. They know it! But if they open the door for us please don't say that stupid "What are you doing? I can do it myself, move!"they are just giving us that attention that many of us like. But if you react horribly about it, of course they'll stop doing it.

So you should be more grateful because they do try their best to make you feel like a princess, they even ask to other girls, to their mums, to their friends what to do to keep things perfect. Guys have feelings too. They will be cold if girls keep acting this way. So calm down, respect and be grateful.

Why girls should be more grateful with guys
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Most Helpful Guy

  • YHL6965
    I think many girls have become more entitled lately, like it's never enough for them even if we try our best so guys noticed that and just stopped giving a damn about many things. Then, you end up with many women in their 30s wondering why they have not found a great guy yet. Well, maybe if these women observed, noticed and appreciated all these efforts, maybe they would have noticed these great guys.

    But hey, in the end, it's natural selection. If you want to be entitled and ungrateful, your genes will be deleted from humanity because nobody will want to date you or you will only get "bottom tier guys".

    Anyway, enough rambling, great take! It's nice to see women that bother to empathize with us guys, who try to see things from our perspective, who try to understand us instead of judging us. Really, thank you, it was heart-warming to read!
    LikeDisagree 24 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • I agree! Haha
      It's just that guys have feelings too, y'know? And respect is important. Just because a girl doesn't like the guy who is trying to flirt with her doesn't mean she can treat him in such a horrible way. There's a fine line between being honest and being disrespectful

    • YHL6965

      Honestly, I can't praise your answer enough. Thank you for being considerate and seeing us guys as human beings who have feelings too! It's really nice to know there are women like you out there!

    • Aw, thanks!!! Means a lot! 💛💛💛💛

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • kymberz
    hang on - i just started reading but what is chamaca and chancla? i've never heard or seen those words but you delivered them just fine gurl - bahahahah! i got the point! now back to finish reading and then i'll leave another comment. i'm liking it so far tho!
    LikeDisagree 9 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • kymberz

      OMG - yer killing me here! i love the way you write. still haven't finished but man can you make a point!

    • kymberz

      ok spoon, knife, gummy bears and a preacher saying god-damn --- is this a joke? like one of those ones where they start with "so 3 guys go in a bar... blah-blah-blah"? cuz i only finished part 1 and i am howling like an idiot - you write really - awesomely? ya... so far at least!

    • kymberz

      OH MY GOODNESS - you nailed it to the floor!!! congratulations! calm down, respect and be grateful - dang gurl you just wrote a song! and i love it!

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1863
  • Maraneva
    I've had that 5th point happen to me all the time continued by "Why do you bother? You're not my boyfriend or something."
    Needless to say, I don't bother caring about anyone anymore.
    Seriously though thanks for laying all this out cause guys can't even say these without pissing people off. Much needed post!
    Like 5 People
    • I know. I know many guys have this problem now because of women's behaviour

      Truth is... Someone has to say it. And I did because I'm sick of that. A few days ago my boyfriend's best friend called him crying and I was with him (my boyfriend). His friend said he was crying because this girl he liked played with him. They were going on dates for nearly two months and he planned a romantic dinner at a posh restaurant, he asked her to officially be his girlfriend when they finished their food and she said "Are you going to pay for me too?" And he was like "...". Then she rejected him. And she used to kiss him all the time, yet she rejected him saying "I'm not sure if I like you. I'm an independent woman". Wtf. And then she left and he paid everything!!! I mean, if she didn't like him, why wasn't she honest before all of that? Clearly she was using him. He felt used. And he paid for everything!!! Guys don't have to pay all the time, I mean, yeah, it's nice but I'm sure they would appreciate if we offered to split the bill 😕

    • Maraneva

      Yeah it actually hurts a lot more than many guys admit.
      I've had other instances where I used to help girls who had to walk home from work by dropping them off near their homes. They on the other hand believed rumours that I was doing all that in desperation to get one of them and started giving me disgusted looks. And now? Finish work, start the car, get out of office without even bothering to smile at them as I pass them walking. Do I feel used? Yep. Do I feel dejected? All the time. Do I regret helping them? Sadly yes😕

    • kim45456

      Can you stop making generalizations? You little slut dont know the whole female population. So stop thinking you are special and all other women are trash

    • Show All
  • Rapidash
    I mean... this can go both ways and varies a lot with context. I also don’t understand how your post is about being grateful. For what? Cheating, being ignored, not being a gentleman and treating you like his pal? There are many things you should be grateful for in a relationship but I don’t think the points you made are that. Every point of yours just seems to show an incompatibility within a relationship, if something isn’t working get out of it... don’t pretend to be grateful when you’re not happy. Yes overall we generally need to be more grateful, but when your relationship is going downhill rapidly and you aren’t happy, being grateful for the tiny things without changing the big issue won’t fix anything. Find a person you can balance with!

    I definitely agree with the title of the mytake though! Would turn it around though: 1. Be grateful when he tries to be cute and romantic (even if it’s cheesy and a bit off, he tried)! 2. Be grateful that he chose precisely you out of all the other people! 3. Be grateful for when he wants and tries to please you intimately as best as he can! Be grateful when he’s trying to learn! 4. Be grateful for all spontaneous messages asking you how you’re doing and making sure you’re alright! Be grateful for when he spends time with you instead of hanging out with his mates! 5. Be grateful for the fact that he sees you as a close friend and feels comfortable around you! 6. Be grateful when he cares for you and cares to make your life just that bit easier because he can!
    LikeDisagree 13 People
    • VIVANT

      Nailed it

    • This! ^^

    • roland77

      Did she encourage cheating? Nope.

    • Show All
  • ShyBoy05
    1. Guys not being romantic.

    SPOT ON!

    I used to do scenes from romantic comedies.
    When I wanted a girl and it felt right to do it, I would.

    I have done some of the scenes like:
    10 things I hate about you (singing with a band for her) and
    love actually (cards scene).
    Girls didn't wanted to date me after that.


    2. Guys being picky.

    RIGHT! I'm a nice guy! If I want to go out with a girl and
    she doesn't want to, I have to respect her wish, right?
    If not, people will say "You creep, leave her alone! no means no".

    If it's the other way around, I'll have all the world saying
    "you should be grateful, go out with her, she's nice"

    Why do I have to go out when I don't want the girl and I don't get a chance with
    the girl I want? The girl I want I don't get, the girl I get I don't want.

    3. Cheating.

    My last girlfriend cheated on me. We talked about sex and she said
    she was fine without it. And that she would never have it with me.
    2 weeks later, she called me crying one night. She had sex with one of
    her class mates. I dumped her sluty ass right there and then.

    4- Ignoring

    Yes, we do have a life but sometimes they don't like
    good morning or good night texts, even if it's only an emoji.
    They take us for granted.

    5. Not being a gentleman

    Yes! We want to keep doing those things, I do them all the time.
    Fortunately some girls don't react that bad about it.

    But yes, girls should be more grateful and give nice guys a try.
    We want to make you happy, not use you like all those pos of players do.

    ---

    Thank you for writing this post, you nailed it. Thanks!

    If you don't mind helping me with something, I'd appreciate it.

    If you had a good relationship with your crush, you tell everything to each other.
    And you found out that she knows a guy who is friends with people who went
    with you to the same highschool and they started fake rumors about you back then.

    Would you tell your crush? I mean, let her know about the bad things from highschool
    from your past before she, somehow, or by someone found out first?

    It could be a lot of different things, but I don't want to ruin my relationship.
    I don't want to look insecure, or weak, or kill attraction. I just want to let her know
    so, when and if the time comes, she doesn't get surprised about stuff that never happened.
    I lost a girl for that kind of stuff once. I don't want to lose her. I really don't.

    Thanks for your time and for reading.
    Like 2 People
    • Thank you for your comment! And yeah, if I were you I would let her know about those fake rumours, and I would tell her something like "But that's it, they're only rumours. None of that happened and I wouldn't like to lose you for those silly rumours that other people made about me". I'm sure she'll understand ☺️

    • ShyBoy05

      Thanks! Honestly, as a Girl, you would like that from a guy?

      Anyway, Thanks for replying! Thanks!

    • Yeah, indeed. Honesty is important in a relationship, innit? Otherwise, how can we trust each other? I would appreciate it and I would tell him that there's nothing to worry about

    • Show All
  • MagiAlphaOne
    Why? Because GOOD MEN a scarce and women have taken notice.

    My Daughter complains that all the good Men are taken. And no Boyfriend! She has a lot of company.

    Yes, they should be grateful to have a Good Man.

    Ladies, have you observed an attitude of indifference by Men towards women? How about Men taking a "take it or leave it attitude"?

    Men are living in a time of Male Hatred. How many of your Girlfriends decry "Toxic Masculinity"? And did you speak up in defense of Men. When women speak up/complain, Men AND Women listen. Yet no one listens to Men.

    Being Romantic. Why should a Man be romantic if women complains about it? Men aren't romantic and have little to no interest in it.

    Not being a Gentleman. In today's culture, being a Gentleman is a one-way deal. He does for her and no expectations for her behavior. Why be a Gentleman if women aren't going to display Lady-like behaviors?

    If I were a young Man today, I would embrace a pragmatic approach towards women. If a woman expresses bad behavior and attitudes, drop her immediately. Don't waste time and move on to the next woman... that is going to be grateful to have me!

    Men, learn to say NO to women.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • kim45456

      So gentleman can be vulgar and curse? Because she thinks only men csn use swear words

  • LEETSBEREAL
    Great post and clearly needed not sure a guy treating you like a bro is a bad thing most of friends do this. I prefer it, its a lot less awkward. I guess its different if your in if for a relationship. Thanks for the My Take don't worry about the haters. Can't please everyone. Rather your true to yourself and your beliefs
    Like 3 People
    • Thank you for that:(. I don't think that's a bad thing too (i mean, a guy treating you like one of his bro's) but many girls hate it.

      What I was trying to say with my post is that some girls should appreciate more what they do in order to keep us happy and making us fall in love :(

    • That's awesome that you do

  • pepper1993
    I agree with everything except the cheating part. There is absolutely no defense for it 99.9% of the time. Withholding sex is not the same as denying someone water or air, and if the guy (or girl) has a problem with it then they should just end the relationship before they "find it from someone else". Just like my opinion man...
    Like 3 People
    • Yeah, it was an example. Sex is not a reason to cheating, but that's why it happens. Also, that's why I said that it doesn't mean guys can force girl to have sex whenever they need/want it

    • razelove

      Not necessarily, the only time I cheated was for revenge, not because of a lack of sex. Again, as above I should have just gotten out, but my self-esteem was low, so I fucked all of her friends. She cheated on me, and it made me hurt, so I wanted to make her hurt worse.

    • Sex isn't a need like water and air? Your wrong there sex is an actual male need it's the same kind of need drug addicts have while we won't die if we don't get it we do INTENSLY crave it if anything for the relief of the craving or the enjoyment of it its like a drug that we need.

    • Show All
  • Insightfull
    I'm not over-the-top romantic, but am learning the lesson that being romantic to any degree is a turnoff for women. I think that caring about feelings comes across as feminine? and it seems like wanting to be treated with respect is too much to ask.

    It's difficult to learn to not care. I don't want to be a relationship with an uncaring woman, but wonder if all women these days are uncaring. In which case I have no choice but to learn to be the unfeeling, uncaring macho man that women complain about but apparently actually want us to be.

    I've been in many great relationships over the years. Women are different these days. Maybe it's that most of the good ones are taken, so the ones that are available are the ones that no man wants, presumably because of their uncaring and entitled attitudes?

    And what does that say about me.. I think I'm a good one.. but being an amazing boyfriend and meeting a woman turn out to be incredibly different things, and I don't feel appreciated
    Like 1 Person
    • Sorry for being so waa

    • @aspiegirl_ (how do you tag on this site? lol)

      That's really awesome that you do appreciate the things that guys do

    • I'm sorry you don't feel appropriated 😕
      I do appreciate what guys do because I know they do have feelings. I also try to be romantic, I know that just because they are guys doesn't mean they don't like sweet and romantic stuff like some of us do. Guys deserve the same attention

    • Show All
  • dbr1987
    This whole text is the most accurate ever i've seen from a women. So i refer to you as a women not a female😉 You adress most of the problems and accept them. You also don't give a shit what other females will say, probs for that,! Good to see, have a Nice day
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • SWPegasus
    I assume to point 1 that the guys that probably aren't romantic are ones that have a lot or go through many relationships but those that have a hard time finding one and haven't had a lot of relationships and really do desire one like me will do those romantic things because they want that stuff too.

    PS aspie in your username i assume is for Asperger's which i have aswell and definitely explains your very astute logical observation.
    Like 1 Person
    • You're so right, indeed! Many of my male friends have problems with that because they haven't been in a relationship but they want to try and they do cute and romantic things for those girls and those girl behave horribly :(

      Yeah! I'm autistic 😊 can we talk by private message? I wanna ask you a few questions if you're okay with that

    • SWPegasus

      Sure

  • 100% agree! I'm glad you wrote this because men should be valued as well! And to all the men who are patient to their women, I just want you to know, you are special and you deserved to be loved in return!
    LikeDisagree 14 People
    • roland77

      12 up, one female down. :-) And thank you seeing us this way!

  • ScarletJean
    I feel like you are discussing younger, possibly immature girls/women. With the whole not being greatful/wanting the guys to read her mind type of mentality. Plus I've noticed the younger generations wanting to be a influencers. People wanting things fast, the entitlement, there is a big lack of respect in society..
    LikeDisagree 11 People
    • Boppy

      I kinda get that. Someone acting like they're better than others and going around talking about how they deserve better than others and bragging.
      I see it a lot with men and women in my age group where I live. It's a drag to deal with but I'm not sure how to react besides just not believing them.

    • Definitely. Older women are much more confident and appreciative. They're much more likely to own their body and sexuality. Keep in mind that OP's message is largely directed at the younger generation (s).

    • roland77

      @Boppy She is not acting like that. She just said the truth and she got (and expected it, ha!) mocked and harassed for it.

    • Show All
  • Shamalien
    Love a logical girl... only gripe with this is that sex is not like a drink of water, it's not necessary, and no matter how bad your relationship is there is never an excuse to cheat. Break up if you must but don't cheat.

    But yeah, don't worry about all the harpies, us men will be here to defend ya, and we are better allies.
    Like 3 People
    • Haha, it was an example ☺️

    • Shamalien

      The word you're looking for is 'analogy' :P and it was a poor one.

      I hope you're logical side will appreciate my cold bluntness :)

    • Haha it's alright

    • Show All
  • Lynx122
    Great take! I think you're right if more girls reacted positively to romantic stuff more guys would do it again. I don't think rejection is that bad but we're not gonna go out of our way to humiliate ourselves by being romantic towards a girl that just sees it as desperation. If girls don't like guys who "try to hard" then guys don't see the point in trying. And that's how you get netflix and chill, fuckbuddys and things like that.

    Same goes for texting sometimes I feel like it's a game of who's less available, who can make the other person wait longer for an answer, who can commit less to anything, who can write the most unenthusiastic texts ever.

    I'm not good at this game as you can see I write a book on every question but then the other person just puts in no effort and I'm just like fuck this I'm done and stay single XD.
    Like 5 People
    • Hahahaha, exactly. I understand. It's soooo hard

  • MrNameless
    A lot of girls have become way too entitled these days. They make the guy do all the work. They call themselves feminists, but when it comes to dating they will cherry pick and go, "I'm old fashioned!"
    Like 1 Person
    • I'm so glad you're old fashioned!

    • roland77

      Same here, I avoid those women a lot. And boy, can I call myself lucky finding a kind and non-feminist woman? She wants equality and harmony, too.

  • Aiko_E_Lara
    Reading at the title alone, instant up vote. Bonus, I just read it and gladly a girl understands how society only demonizes men in society. How society sees couples "Don't abandon HER at all cost"
    Like 5 People
    • I mean I know a lot of girls understand it too but it's always great when someone specially a girl who brings awareness about it

    • Yeah, I understand. I just want girls to understand that we should appreciate more what guys do

    • I appreciate you

    • Show All
  • DJZest
    The dating game is just that - a game. If you obey the rules you might win or you might lose.

    Man, being highly-intelligent, deeply personaly, and spiritual, longs for requires relationships that move along a set of higher values and principles, ones that hold eternally true. Contrary to this is the, indeed, animalistic behavior that is aimless sex.

    Dating can be used as a tool to gauge a potential significant other, or as a manipulation device which as in making it out to be the socially acceptable pattern to get laid, when nothing significant from the end result.

    The points mentioned in the Take are issues of maturity and character development, which, if for a man and woman who are somewhat advanced (individuals) and compatible with each other, will not be of any hindrance to furthering each other's progression on their paths to enlightenment, while having fun on the way.

    Thus, good couple through grace learns much and quickly from each other and can achieve happiness on a level infinitely higher to what the pathetic display of supposed love in Hollywood movies attempts to conjure.

    A negative outlook on life (surroundings in general) is rooted within one's own self; nothing externally should be able to, even minutely, stir your soul. Real love that is based on commitment, dedication, grace, understanding, forebearance, knowledge, awareness, etc. etc. remains unseen to the average person, but is no doubt lived-out to the fullest wherever it is established.
    Like 3 People
  • MackToday
    Sex isn't a need , there is no excuse for cheating. I would never do that. I'd break up with her before I'd ever do that. It's a cowardly pathetic thing to do.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • It was an example, haha

    • roland77

      Maybe in an asexual relationship, sex is no need. I know that to good from my parents. But in a relationship with both having a high sex-drive, sure number one priority sex is. I guess @aspiegirl_ agrees?

    • @roland77 yeah, I agree

    • Show All
  • AynonOMouse
    Girls should do romantic things too. Guys need to feel cared about just as much as girls do, but often they never feel that way in a relationship.
    Like 6 People
    • I agree. Guys have feelings too. I always do romantic things for my boyfriend ☺️❤️. I always try to show him how much I love him and how much he means to me by listening when he talks about anything, I always plan a surprise for him once a week, haha. I plan a date, with a romantic dinner and candles! And I'm there basically all the time whenever he needs me ❤️. For his birthday I made a painting of both of us, I wrote him a letter and gave him a lot of cheesy stuff.
      Not everything is about presents, there are little things that can mean a lot to guys as well. I always remember his Starbucks order, that's something you remember if when someone is important to you ☺️💛

    • The handmade painting and letter are really cool. I hope someday I find someone that would do stuff like that.

  • razelove
    Goddamn, you made me think of mortal combat on this one, flawless victory. I'm thinking that round 1 is getting you a whole slew of people hissing and clawing at your eyes now though. I don't agree 100%, but basically I agree.
    Like 3 People
  • COMMODOREII
    THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! I really needed someone to say that. I am so grateful you are a friend. You hit it on the dot. I have tried my hardest to everything you said and then more and got thrown out like trash. Because of that i feel sometimes i don't know what to do anymore. I try to follow my heart and i am often treated like shit. Thank you. *big hug* 💓💓💓💓
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • That's what I tried to say, that girls should appreciate more what guys try to do for us. But apparently many girls disagree, I received lots of messages with hate today because I shared my opinion, haha

    • You good with me my friend. 😊💓💓🌹🌹

    • roland77

      @aspiegirl_ Just block these feminazis!

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