Search Results: getting over a break up pain

I'm so tired of being hurt. there's a girl, I've known for four years at this point, originally I hit on her to no avail, for 3. friggin. years. She never said she didn't like me, in fact we spend a lot of time together talking and really getting to know each other.

I planned so much for her, I began to admittedly obsess over her, constantly thinking about what I could do for her, but when I made her a valenties present she never even looked at, when I asked her to dance at homecoming and she said no then grinded with someone else, when I asked her to prom and she took... Someone she wound up dating then breaking up with when she realized he wasn't the faithful type... I realized she wasn't feeling me.

When she was in a relationship I left her alone because I don't play like that, but then we started talking again this summer and then she invited me to a party and then we became friends as we worked on summer homework together and we just became closer, and closer, and she broke up with her boyfriend and I waited for a month or two, then I asked If she'd ever consider seeing me as more than a friend, She said "not now."

I think she meant not ever.
We genuinely became best friends, we told each other everything, but I always had this feeling that I was being used. For money, or transportation, or just for comfort. She told me she loved me and I told her but we meant it as friends.

Then she asked me out over the phone. I didn't know how to respond and stumbled over my words until I realized this probably would never happen again, and though I was content being her friend I mean, why not. Then she told me she was joking.

Now I'm asking myself why I put up with this pain, we have an interesting friendship n that we're both pretty offensive to one another but lightheartedly.
But she's always pushing the line, always doing to much, always using the weak points I've shown her to tap at me and see if I crack.

It's a long story... Skip to the bottom for the main question.

I had a different upbringing than most people my age. I've struggled with health in my teens ( severe headaches and insomnia mainly). I went from an outgoing kid getting A's and B's to straight F's and almost not graduating high school.

After high school, I just rode out the insomnia (0-2 hours sleep per day for work, god that fucking sucked so much) and headaches and got jobs. I was able to put up with for many years until it finally caught up with me and I got hospitalized

By age 23 I've seen at least 2 dozen doctors and been in the ER room more times than I'd like to. I was hauled away in an ambulance one day. That day I legitimately thought I was going to die, the pain was like none other and I had a sensation of me leaving my body, I really thought it was over, that I was going to die. But... I was hospitalized and I made it. Same thing happened last month, I was having what I felt it was a heart attack, scariest shit I have ever experienced. I'm turning 26 in a month and I'm still battling it, at this point I'm never giving up until I make it or die trying.

I live with my mom, my brother helps with money, I didn't go to college, I don't have a job, I'm broke. I'm technically a complete failure and bum. Who would wanna date someone like this? The other side of me thinks 'hey, a lot of people are going through rough times but they are also trying to enjoy life, maybe I should too'. The only positive thing about me is that I have no plans of staying like this. I just have a vision, a dream that one day I WILL make it. I see it every fucking day and I'm chasing it every day desperately doing whatever it takes.

The ironic thing is that I am decently popular with girls and nobody suspects anything about me, I've never taken the plunge and never told anyone my story

TL:DR
If you're dating someone you really like and one day he revealed his story like mine, what would you think/do?

So, this girl caught my eye. She is rad as. Saw her while I was getting food and spoke to her for a few minutes. Then she ended up working at this store I went to the same night and I'm like "If this isn't a sign from God I don't know what is" so I got her number and I picked her up on Halloween to chill with me and my friend.

He ended up leaving so we walked to my place and she took her shoes and shit off and got in my bed. I was like "Are you staying over?" and she asked me if it was okay and I told her it was. So we stood up the next few hours watching tv and she had her head on my shoulder and I had a few opportunities to kiss her but I didn't because I didn't want to have sex the first night we hung out.

Sooo, we cuddle all night, she goes home in the morning back to her friends house before her mom finds out she isn't where she said she'd be.

We text.

Then yesterday she sends this: "It's a pain in the butt if I have to lie to my parents of where I'm going! Also just bear with me for a while bc my mom is crazy since what happened with my ex"

They broke up 2 weeks ago, he was abusive and constantly bothers her.

So, we talk about her mom a few more minutes and I'm like "She would love me" and she said "She definitely would." and all this.

Then a few texts later she's like "As of now I hope you know I don't want to be more than friends really."

And she is still expecting me to hang out with her and her friend on friday. What?

Why say "bear with me for a while" then? Why spend the night with me?

If you dated a guy for just a month, with roughly 5 dates in total and very little texting and no phone calls, but still considering every date to go very well with good chemistry. Add a few kisses and hugs but no sex.
Circumstances are you need to go different ways (Long Distance relationship for example, or if the guy had to go to war or something)
So in order to not put each other through too much pain, you decided to break up and initiate the NO CONTACT strategy, then talk later to evaluate the possibility of getting back together later when circumstances are more favorable.

The flaw in this plan, is that the NO CONTACT contract has no clear duration agreed upon by both parties, first to break the rule kind of decides for the other. It's been two weeks, and I feel calm and composed again, ready to discuss the next step, but I'm scared of finding that she's still affected. She did seem quite the romantic and sensible woman... but it's been just a month worth of dating.

Opinions?
How long before you'd get over the break up of such a short relationship?
I promised her we would talk and consider the next step, but I'm getting over her and if I wait too long, I might just lose the spark, and then she'll be shattered all the same.