Society & Politics

Verbal Abuse: It Does Matter

Verbal Abuse: It Does Matter



Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.



How many times have you heard that in your life? I can't count how many times I have. And I've always hated it. Why? Because for as long as I can remember, I've always thought the complete opposite.


I can't remember a time where I wasn't called names. Everyday at school I'd get picked on and humiliated. It got so bad that I'd cry every morning and beg my mom to let me stay home. And you know what she would say? She'd say "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", and send me on my way. And I used to repeat it the entire way to school. Willing it to work. Believing that it would. But it never did. I'd leave school in tears. Every single day. So I eventually I stopped believing. And stopped saying it. Because if I'm being honest, I would've taken getting beat up everyday over having to hear some of the things that were said to me. I WANTED them to hit me. Because then I'd have a physical source of pain. I could look at a bruise, connect that to the pain that I felt and know that eventually it would heal. How do you heal wounds from words that leave invisible scars all over?


Verbal Abuse: It Does Matter



Words Hurt


I went through that pretty much all of elementary and middle school. And home life wasn't much better. My sisters and parents figured out pretty soon that words hurt me more than any hit ever could. So they'd use that against me. I can count on two hands how many times I got beat at home. I'd never cry. And it drove them nuts. My mom figured out quick that all she had to do was call me names and belittle me to get me to cry. She physically hit me maybe once after that. Because she knew she didn't have to. She knew that her words would sting way harder and much longer than any hit from a belt could. And it's not like she yelled and screamed all the time. Some of the most hurtful things she said were delivered in subtle ways. My dad was worse because at least my mom tried to apologize sometimes. He was as unemotional as they came. Nothing ever pleased him. He didn't hesitate to make you feel like a failure, and tears meant nothing to him. I know you're probably thinking that I should've had a thicker skin. I often told myself that. But my brain registers pain differently. That's not to say that physical pain doesn't hurt me. It does. But the pain that I feel from people's words is of no comparison.


Verbal Abuse: It Does Matter



Verbal Abuse Is Just As Damaging As Any Other Abuse


I feel like a lot of people downplay and write verbal abuse off. It's so much more than just being hurt by someone's words. Understand that once they are spoken, you can never take them back. No amount of "I'm sorry's" and apologies will erase them. And if you're anything like me, you'll replay them over and over until they're embedded in your brain. They never go away. Imagine what that does to your mental stability. Constantly thinking of all the things that people have said to you to hurt you. And when you basically live in your head like me, you're swimming in those words. So think about that next time you write someone off that feels a certain way because of something that was said to them. And social media and the Internet DOES count. People think that because these words are being spoken from behind a screen that they don't count? That's bull. Some of the things I read on here alone make me cringe. And it doesn't even have to be aimed at me.


I don't know how many times I've heard someone say that they'd take verbal abuse over physical. And I always chime in. Because being abused verbally is just as damaging as being abused physically. They BOTH hurt. So think about that the next time you decide to say something not so nice to someone or send that nasty message. You never know what's going on in their mind or just how close to the edge they are. And I'm not claiming to be perfect, especially when provoked. But I lived through it, and still struggle with it. It has lasting effects.


This isn't for sympathy or any of that. I can get that from my therapist. I just want people to realize that words DO hurt. More than you may ever know. Remember that.


Verbal Abuse: It Does Matter

Verbal Abuse: It Does Matter
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