What do people often mistake for love that really isn’t love at all?

Question

Love can be beautiful, but I think people sometimes confuse it with other emotions or behaviors that aren’t actually healthy. What’s something people mistake for love that actually isn’t?

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

It might be the same as people feeling a friendship with someone when there really wasn't any friendship at all.
1. My brother-in-law was a very friendly, jovial person when we first met him and he stayed that way for a couple years. All of a sudden, he became an incredibly huge asshole towards me!! He was several years older than me, I was in my mid 30's, and I felt like I was back in grade school being made fun of by the school bullies!!
2. I went to school with a guy I considered to be my friend. After we graduated, I never saw him again until about 42 years later. There was a risk of me losing my house that my mother Willed to me because of my greedy ex-sisters trying to kick me out so they could sell the house, against mom's wishes!! This supposed friend of mine was chosen by the court to be in charge of the house and came over one afternoon to look at the house and take some pics of the inside. I treated him as if he was still my friend and gave hm a full tour of the house. I thought it strange that he was only taking pics of certain spots in the house and not the entirety of the inside! Later, in court, I found out why!! That fucker ONLY took pics of the cluttered areas of the house to make the judge believe that I wasn't taking care of the place!! Some of the spots he took pics of had NOTHING to do with me!! And, as I said, he never took picks of any of the other parts of the house!! Had he done so, MOST OF IT would've been seen to be a clean, well-kept place!! The court decided against me and I was forced out of my own house!! That asshole told me I was gonna be given enough time to come back and get the rest of my stuff that I didn't have the time to get the first time but, I never got that time and discovered that people were at the house cleaning it out and throwing away everything inside!!! I went to try to get them to let me get more if not all of my stuff and they refused and that asshole said he'd have me arrested if I tried to get any of my stuff or set foot on the property!!
3. A few months ago, I met a guy that stopped to help me get home with about 8 bags of groceries. At the time, I was having trouble walking. He gave me his number and, over the next few months, offered to help me with several things I needed help with but, other than give me a couple rides, never came through with any of them. And, I never asked for his help with those projects! 3 weeks ago, I asked him for a ride to the foodbank. It's only about 2 miles from here and he lives 5 doors away from me! He said he'd give me a ride but never showed up!! I went to his house to see if things were okay and he got EXTREMELY pissed at me and refused to take me!! We haven't talked since!!
As for the love angle: one of my ex-GF's and I were together for 10 years and I THOUGHT it was gonna be a forever thing!! We'd been living together for a few years. One day, I asked her to marry me. She said, yes. A week or so later, I told so, me of my band mates that we were getting married and she quickly jumped in and said that she never said yes!! A few months later, the sex dried up but I stayed loyal to her and she appeared to still be very much in love with me!! A few years later, she starts hanging out a lot with her "friend", David! I'm not the jealous type so, I don't mind if she has male friends but, within another year or so, I discover that she'd been cheating on me!!!

Joshydavid25 · Accepted Answer

Just watched the movie "Obsession" good movie, but it seems that that was mistaken for love.. I've seen so many people talk about "I want someone who will be obsessed with me".. That ain't love.. Also butterflies and a spark, or the honey moon phase are often mistaken for love.. It's a form of love or can lead to it, but real love starts when the phase ends..

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I believe that a lot of people are wearing a mask that we can't see through. They have a hidden agenda, but do and say things which causes you to believe they love you.

But unfortunately, we never know what the other person is feeling or thinking until one day their mask slips off, and they end up leaving your life and trying to get answers that you will never know.

They shouldn't have treated you as though they loved and cared about you, and set you up for heartbreak.💔 But sometimes people are cruel and don't have good intentions, because they have a hidden agenda. They want something else out of the relationship and it isn't love, but probably just sex, and sex is NOT love.

lilBigPotato · Accepted Answer

Butterflies in your belly. It's just the first sign that you're gonna have diarrhea soon 🤷‍♀️

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to help you dodge fake love and find the real thing, with a little flirting and honesty mixed in 😏

People constantly mistake intense *validation* for love. That “you complete me”, obsession, constant texting, lovebombing, can feel magical but it’s usually emotional dependency or trauma bonding.

Real love is calm, secure, consistent. If you feel panicked, clingy, or terrified of losing them 24/7, that’s anxiety, not love, babe ❤️

Lliam · Answer

Infatuation.
Infatuation is the feeling that people associate with love. That's how people can talk about love at first sight. Songs and films reinforce the idea.
Infatuation is intense but it is fantasy. You project your ideas of perfection onto the other person without even knowing much about them.

True love is when you know a person's true, undisguised personality, behavior, habits, lifestyle, values, sexual preferences and kinks and still love them..

OneViewpoint · Answer

The usual suspects... Lust Pity Infatuation Obsession Loneliness Neediness A damaged personality that looks great on the surface Opportunity Beer goggles after last call

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes lust can mimic the physical response we have when we are in love.  "Was it really all you thought that it was s'posed to be Or are you just another face in someone's fading memory"

sawno · Answer

Lust / infatuation. Love is deeper than that. To me if you truly love someone you also love who they are its not just a feeling.

Last year there was a girl who was deeply "in love" with me. Except we met online, she didn't even know what I looked like yet and we had only been chatting for a few days. Thats not love, thats just infatuated feelings. I took it as a red flag and it caused her to pressure me to feel the same way, which didn't work.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't think love has to be healthy, nice, or balanced, to exist as love. So in that sense, I don't see any confusion going on lol. I believe love is whatever people say it is. That's my actually serious answer to...

What is love?

molonski2 · Answer

Infatuation mainly , unhealthy reasoning , financial in many circumstances , plus over a long period of time " love " is bullshit anyhow , also control , manipulation.

RavVid · Answer

Emotional intimacy is often mistaken by men for love/incipient love. It can be but it is also a CB's (crazy bitches) standard tool to obtain resources.

RareBreedOfMan · Answer

When two friends tell each other they love each other often confuses me but hey I already had it happen to me and truly hurts cause it ended but I still love her.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Being overly desperate leads to making hasty decisions.

s0j7e3zyxc8v0 · Answer

The fear of being alone. Some people stay in relationships because they're afraid of loneliness, not because they're in love. And lust. Physical attraction alone isn't love.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Sometimes all it takes is spending enough time together.

browsingthroughthe · Answer

Lust and short term urges 😈☺️ Everyone's human.

Spencer10 · Answer

Lust. A very powerful force that is often confused.

bear34 · Answer

attraction, liking, infatuation, obsession, desire.

Cidknee · Answer

Loving the way she looks and talks, and walks, and acts. But it's the desire to have her. Not necessarily love.

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

What is love? Babe don't hurt me, no more... They confused it with a night at roxburry haha

jahaims · Answer

Because they aren't emotionally healthy and just want validation

Lottydotty · Answer

bought gifts. every man should be an artist and be able to express their love in that way by creating the gifts and writing the cards themselves.

AydenHazor · Answer

Having grown up in a neglectful household I mistook attention for love and entered into an abusive relationship and marriage for it.

HellOnHeels0 · Answer

They mistake lust for love.

aceleon · Answer

habituation. lust.

mothefriendly · Answer

Probably some kind of love bombing.

Shiprex · Answer

They fall in love with the IDEA

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Infatuation, obsession, limerence, pity.

loveslongnails · Answer

Attention and desire (attraction).

LiamJHayden · Answer

Lust, infatuation, codependency.

canamlusciouslad73 · Answer

They love c**k or c**t !!!

Paige2006 · Answer

Most of the time

Staximus · Answer

Lust or infatuation

Anonymous · Answer

Friendship and helping

WhitneySnow · Answer

Infatuation

AgentG111 · Answer

Lust

msc545 · Answer

Good sex

What do people often mistake for love that really isn’t love at all?

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Do most people confuse genuine love for falling in love (infatuation)?

What do people often mistake for love that really isn’t love at all?

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Do most people confuse genuine love for falling in love (infatuation)?

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