I too believe that "true love" doesn't exist. Well I'm not going to say it doesn't exist, I'm just going to say it's extremely rare (out of all of the people I know, I'm sure none of them have gotten anywhere near true love). The thing that most people experience is lust and a very watered down version of what love is supposed to be. In my opinion if you're not willing to die for that person then it's not true love. If you get a girlfriend, who's to say that you will truly love her, and she will truly love you?
I think that in most cases people are in relationships for their own selfish reasons.
Why do I say that?
A lot of people are in relationships because they can't or don't want to deal with themselves, people are in relationships because they want to feel desired, for lustful reasons, they're lonely, or from societal pressures to have a partner, and not because they love that person.
I too wanted to be in a relationship just because I was lonely and I was feeling unwanted and when I look back on that, I realize that I only wanted to be in a relationship for my own selfish reasons. I was thinking about how a boyfriend could help me and not how I could help that potential boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend because I wanted someone to talk to me, someone to go places with. I wanted a boyfriend to prove to myself that I'm not weird and that at least one guy out there likes me.
But since then I realized that I shouldn't want a boyfriend only because I'm lonely, I should want a boyfriend because I like him (not lust for him), and want to be around that person for selfless reasons.
And yes, the reality of it all is that if you're not attractive you're not going to get much attention from girls. All the girls that responded just don't have the guts to say it. Present them an ugly guy and I'm sure they would not want him (not unless he's rich). It's the same with guys. They definitely wouldn't choose an ugly girl over a beautiful girl. If you want a girlfriend you're going to have to settle for someone on your level of attractiveness and if you're not good looking and you want a beautiful girlfriend you have to be perfect in every other way.
In high school I used to be the ugly duckling, and now that I've changed it seems like the very same guys that used to make fun of me are trying to get with me. It's amazing how looks really matter. If I looked how I do now in high school it would have caused me a lot less heartache and pain.
Gee, been bitter much lately? I don't meant to offend you, its not that, but the reason girls like the "good looking" guys is because , well they're goodlooking , sure, but mostly., because they have confidence. If you don't have confidence, no one is going to like you all that much. Its harsh but its true. You have got to have confidence, no matter the physical appearance, but because its attractive, just seeing someone believe in himself and thinking he's good enough, without thinking he's all that and be stupid about it of course. And I know it may not seem that way to you now, I have been there once myself, feeling that they always choose the others, never you. But the things I is , you weren't the right person for that person then, but that does not mean that you will never be the right person for anyone ever. That just a pessimistic load of crap. Now I want you to , the next time you are at some sort of social event , like school or work, or when you're just going into the mall, dress in your best clothes (the ones that are nice and you feel most comfortable in) and walk in there like you own the place. If there is a girl you like , have confidence and ask her out, she might say yes and if not some other girl will see that you were confident enough to walk up to her, and might ask you out instead. And if it is your appearance you worry about , most things can be fixed. Is it acne, go see a dermathologist or use good products. If its your hair, color it or cut it in an attractive haircut. If its your clothes , buy new ones, same goes for shoes. If you have any girlfriends that are just your friends, then ask them to help you , or a sister would go just as well. But a mother might be overthinking it, plus she might dress you up in boyish clothes and give you a silly haircut :) but that's just how mothers are. The point is , that if you try hard enough, you can be all that, and you can have love, or lust , whatever it is you desire. I know you can make it. But simply because someone else seems to base their decisions on lust doesn't mean everyone does the same, and if more than one does it, then its their choices, what is right for them. But if you want love, go get it. Don't base your beliefs on the actions of those around you!. Be safe :)
Ps, and remember, confidence is hot and so can you be:)
I Felt love before --and it does exist
my ex boyfriend was probably not the most handsomest guy but I loved him a lot and so does he.
It's really a feeling that's felt from with in.
when you see that person in pain you want to make them happy and give then the whole world
and when you can't make their smile go away --it hurts you just as much.
I think it does exist.
you don't have to be "hot" to find love --you just have to find the right person. ...
I think love is an indescribable feeling and once it comes you will know.
and once again ---U don't have to be attractive to find love.
Love isn't about looks.
i don't look for looks in someone I look for personality and intellectually driven people.
I think lust grows into love or lust is apart of love.
You may disagree but
we all just have to look for someone that will accept who we are. ...
I honestly love my ex and I still do but Love does exist and it isn't all about looks. because what takes us to the end of the journey? --personality and Brain power not looks.
don't give up. Love will find u...
I doubt that though I will be alone forever.
Why would you doubt that?
r you insecure about your physical appearance?
In order for love to exist or for someone to love you back you first have to accept who you are and love yourself and be confidence and have faith in your own qualities and attributes.
and we are not all perfect and Everyone aren't just about looks.
honestly, I feel bad for your ass. if your 18-24 and never had a gorlfriend, its because you don't have enough self confidence to FIND love. its f***ing real. and since you feel like a loser becasue you haven't found it yet, make everyone think that THEY are wrong, and what they KNOW is love, isn't love, but lust? its wrong, and sense you HAVENT had a grilfriend/ been in love yet, think about why, its NOT because you may be unattractive, and its NOT because it doesn't exist, its because you have THIS attitude. and its not going to get you anywhere in the world of love. believe in it, think about how many people spend their days thinking about that one person they know they feel in love with. naive isn't the right word, are little children naive becasue they dearly love their parents? no. love is love. there are many deiffertn defenitions and many different levels. but its real. anyone and everyone can find it, even you. you just have to have hope and try.
There is no hope though I can't even talk to girls.
Goddammit, kid.
f***in stop sitting there and feeling bad for yourself!!
your f***ing sexy and you know it, your personality has to be great, and its not always the looks that matter, and its not the smooth talk us girls like, it when guys are themselves around you, it makes us feel that we can be ourselves too, and that makes us feel comfortable, and that comfort makes us fall in love with them. so jsut be yourself and make her laugh, what is her name? ya know, the girl you want to love?
There is no girl right now, I honestly do not think I am attractive I just want to be able to feel happy but girls are just to scary to talk to I get nervous and I have trouble breathing right from just thinking about talking to girls.
Listen, there are plenty of girls that are JUST like that. they can't even say the word "boy" or they will pass out. haha its okay, just practice with people, like your close female friends, or your mom maybe a sister, tehy will be there to help. and plus, girls aren't that scary... haha what are you os scared of? if you go upto a girl, adn aske her her name and how she is, she not going to shoot you, or yell at you and call you names, she is going to think your sweet.
I am just scared I have not rational reason I am just scared. I fear rejection but really I am just scared of women in general. I also don't have any female friends.
Wow... and how old are you..?
I am 19
Hey dude listen to me try anti anxiety medication for when you do try to do that it will stop taht it seems like you have an anxiety problem from something that might have happend in the past go 2 your doctors about it and say it happens even when you talk to guys trust me its well worth iti think that's the problem
Good, powerful, heartfelt writeup. You essentially emphasized the same point as Sheslikeheroin. I'm impressed with both of your capabilities to write down what is in your heart.
Im sorry for saying this but you are ignorant. I mean you no disrespect but for you to compare love to lust is like comparing dirt to gold. You simply haven't found love yet man, I am 20 years old, a virgin, and have only ever had 1 girlfriend and she left me because I wouldn't have sex with her because I knew she didn't love me she was just attracted to me. HAVING SEX IS THE LEAST MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THE PLANET. Think about it 30 minutes of plessure versus a lifetime of love and happiness. And if you think you have got a girlfriend because your looks you really are ignorant, girls are more attracted to maturity, they can tell when you don't have coiinfedence in yourself and that is what makes you unattractive to them. For you to drag the name of one the most beautiful things on the planet through the dirt because boo hoo you didn't get none in highschool, F*cking deal get over it your life is only 1/4 of the way done you have plently of time to get a mindless piece of ass if that's all you want but don't try to tell other people love doesn't exist because the truth is a bitch. And the truth is your not loved by yourself so you feel no one will ever love you and I know this because I was the same way until I actaully feel in love and realized the problem wasnt them it was the idiot in the mirror crying about how all his friends have girlfriends and I don't but guess what not a single one of those relationships will last past 10 years because they met before they were fully mature. Once again I am sorry for going off on you but you did kind disrespect me and millions of other people with one emotionally charged false statement.
Because women are obnoxious control freaks who won't let you have a f***ing day to yourself. You MUST be thinking of them CONSTANTLY or else they do not feel affirmed. And this is coming from a guy who didn't even get a hug from a non-family member until 18, and idolized women.
So here's a tip: if you do have a girlfriend, as soon as she starts being a bitch, break up with her, and follow through. Here's a video to help you prepare:
Once you have experienced the annoyance that is a relationship, you will understand why guys stop caring about girls.
So I am right to not think love is real.
Ok I am not a bitch I am not aggravating unless I need to be. Everyone is aggrevating at some point not just women, comming from someone in a 7 year relationship. When it happenes you are going to so blown away. It is a great feeling knowing you have someon there that will be there no matter what is going on. On medicnethat kills your libedo(sex drive) you think someone who does not love you is going to stay, NO. That is what love is all about,not about the perfections but the imperfections.!
Opinion
14Opinion
I've never had a boyfriend. I'm at the age where all my friends have boyfriends and they're going to dances with them. They're taking pictures with them. It feels like all I can do is just smile and pretend to be happy for them, when really they have what I want and never could have.
But recently, I've found a new sense of self-worth and a feeling of confidence. People pick up on this, and they like it.
The only reason you feel the way you do about love, or the lack thereof, is the fact that you've never had a girlfriend. Maybe the reason that you never had a girlfriend really is because you're unattractive, but when you spend your time typing/writing/saying/thinking that you're unattractive, you're reinforcing that into your mind, causing yourself to truly believe it. And when you believe something strongly enough, it oozes from you.
So imagine if someone came up to you and said, "Hi, I'm unattractive and love doesn't exist."
You'd be pretty turned off. I know I would.
I'm not just trying to make you feel bad for downing yourself. I used to think love was a giant charade, too, but now I'm hopeful (but still single). All you really can do is hope for a miracle such as love to grace you with its presence. Don't be convinced that it won't come your way- because it passes over everyone; you just need to learn how to live in that moment.
Smile at girls that provoke your interest.
If there's a girl you like, and she's making jokes, laugh... even if the jokes aren't funny.
Just pretend to feel good about yourself, and soon you really will.
But in the meantime, try to make other people feel good. The generosity you'll recieve back from them will make you rethink your disbelief in love.
Beautiful writeup! People need to invest in themselves and think about things. They need to have some insights like these to contribute to this world and become more attractive while doing so. Whoever finds you, ms. heroin, will be lucky.
=]
Awwww, I hope whoever finds me, feels the same way.
Love isn't supposed to be easy, no one ever said it was. Love is something wayyy worth fighting for, and I know I sound like a cheap romantic comedy but it's true. I'm not the most attractive person either, I've been called fat, ugly, etc, all my life. My boyfriend on the other hand, is veryyy attractive, one of the most sought after boys in our grade. I never had a boyfriend, he went out with at least fifty girls (not even a lie, haha), and then one day out of the blue, he asked me to go out with him and I of course said yes, since I'd been really crushing on him from a distance for a while. And a month later, he looked at me and said "I think I love you." and then at that moment, I realized what all of the hype about love was. I wake up every morning, knowing that he's out there, wanting to be with ME, to make ME happy, to support NE and love me no matter what (which has been proved in the over two years we've been together). Just because you haven't experienced it yet doesn't mean it's not out there. If anything, it should make you want to find it even more. True, lust is a part of love, obviously. It's how it starts out, in my opinion. You see someone, you lust after them, and then once you get to know them, all the facets of their personality and being, you come to love them. It's not a cut and dry, I saw them and fell in love thing. It'll happen to you, because it's too wonderful of a phenomenon not to. There's someone out there for everyone, even if you're not interested in finding them, somehow it'll be put right. After all, in the fairytales, the right couple doesn't ever get together until the very end.
Here you have made a judgement on something that cannot be measured. You measured what love really is by comparing it to lust which most people view as sexual attraction and initially liking the 'newness' of a relationship. When we feel like we are in love we do not doubt it or think it could be false. Then we are happy to call it love.
It is only when we fall out of this time that we called love that we become bitter and believe it does not exist. Scientists have now predicted that passionate love only lasts for approximately five years and then after this if you are still in a relationship with someone it is a different form of love, similar to that between a mother and baby. I read the comment below mine about willing to die for your partner equalling true love. There are many more complex workings within love. For example my brother is happily married to his wife for ten years and has one child of five years. His wife said that she would not die for him as she knows she would be leaving her child behind and that she would rather her be here for him than my brother, the child's father.
Love isn't just about attraction or sex.
As a mother - I know I love my children unconditionally. As a wife, I would die for my husband. What else could that be but love?
Love is about tolerance and acceptance. And it sounds like you need to feel that way about yourself. Being physically unattractive is not a deterrent to love. Especially since physical beauty is so objective - you may not like the way you look, but there are other who could disagree with you. You never know.
I understand how discouraging being single can be - but having a partner isn't the be all end all in life. You can have a perfectly full and happy life without a SO. Really. Just go out and live, experience what there is to experience and maybe when you're not paying attention - love will find you.
You're too young to have such a dismissive attitude about love - keep some hope in your heart. You need to be able to recognize love when it shows itself - and you can't do that when you're cloaked with doubt.
Good luck, I hope the best for you.
I think she said it best. I used to feel the same way but you know what I never thought I could feel about someone the way I do. My kids are my life and I would give my life in a heart beat for either of them And the man in my life, their father means everything o me and I could not imagin my life without him. When you least expet it ou will find that one person who just turns your world around and that you can't see yourself going a day with out them by your side. It will happen be patient.
Well, I don't think that every person has a "true love" or "the one". But I think there are people who get along really well that makes it appear like "true love". But I know that there is a difference between love and lust (I'm bisexual, and I feel love for men and lust for women...i know, it's odd but it's how I can tell the difference). I think that because you're bitter is part of the reason that no one is interested. I know this, because I'm the same exact way (and that's why I never get asked out or no one seems interested).
Also, if lust only existed in this world, people would not be monogamous or stay together after the chick gets pregnant (cause that's what animals do) or after sex (and I mean everyone in the world). There are feelings there between people that keep them together because they have found someone that they get along with and who "gets" them. Honestly, if you run into someone that you have things in common with, you like them don't you want them near you? I mean, its nicer when you have someone around that you get along with :) And besides, from what I've experienced, a little of "lust" and "like" can turn into "love. Don't give up just yet.
I am lonely though and I feel that I am not good looking enough for girls.
Everyone thinks that way. everyone thinks they're not good enough. I'm the same way, I'm lonely all the time and I don't think I'm good looking enough for guys. the thing is to find positive aspects about yourself (internal and external) and focus on them. try to be more optimistic and enjoy things and don't focus on it so much. find a hobby or something your passionate about. and you probably are not that bad looking. the other day, I saw this hot girl with this really ugly guy and all...
I could think was "whoa! how did THAT happen?". People are attracted to confidence and optimism. when a person is unconfident and pessimistic, people have a tendency to stay away from them. So, try to be more optimistic. Even minor negative comments can make a big difference when talking to someone you're interested in. and don't forgot, if one person does not find you attractive the next person may. everyone has different types and preferences. I hope this answers your question.
I guess it does but I have never found a girl that has liked me and I really do not want to get hurt.
Well, that's apart of dating: getting hurt. Everyone gets hurt at some point. Even though it's not something anyone wants to go through. And I know what you mean when you haven't found anyone that likes you (I haven't found anyone either). You just have to think of it as "would you rather be stuck with someone you like, or with someone that you know that it won't work out with and will lead to heartache?". I think the only other advice I have is to wait. just get out and meet people and...
Enjoy life. Make new friends and get to know their friends. Maybe you'll meet someone! Sadly it takes time and patience to run into someone that will make it work for you. that's what I'm doing: waiting. Cause even though I know that it's lonely, it's better than doing out and dating a bunch of people that I have nothing in common with and enduring unnecessary heartbreak to fill the void. I'm just trying to enjoy life and the little things. ultimately, just be optimistic and get out there.
Trust me, it is very real, and there are many different kinds of it, most of my life I considered myself "ugly" and I developed a crush with a girl over the internet on a game (I know I'm lame), but once she started throwing hints my direction that she was interested in me having never seen me and I hadn't seen her, we ended up in a long distance relationship, the only thing that really ended us was she had trouble seeing us as meeting in person, the ironic part is I had saved enough money to go see her and had planned to surprise her by seeing her on her b-day (by then we were really close and did know what each other looked like), but she flipped out we broke up and stopped talking to each other, but we have some shared friends and I know she still loves me and thinks about me, just like I do for her. True love never dies, it just gets surpressed once it's over so we can move on and stay alive.
So please beleive me when I say love does exist, it is out there, and chances are it will find YOU when you least expect it, so keep your eyes open and when you seen an opportunity, make a move, leap, most women will notice confidence and other masculine traits before seeing how wonderful being with a nice/respectful guy is without having been in bad relationships with over macho you know whats. And I am guessing you consider yourself a nice guy, if that's the case my best advice I can give you is, be cofident (pysch yourself up before talkign to a girl if you have to, or have some buddies back you up) but go for masculine, then show your sweet/nice guy side.
I sincerely hope this advice helps. And please if you do find someone keep me updated, I want to help and wish you the best. =)
love itself does not exist no, however feelings that can be construde as love do, feelings of trust, care, devotion and loyalty these all count towards what people see as love but these feelings can be for anyone in any extreme and in any order. a soul mate is real as this is a person you can spend time with and connect with on a very personnal and detailed level. you will never find love as its displayed in the media as it is not real but you will however find the special person who completes your life :)
there are many of them out there statistically if there are 6.4 billion people then there would be hundreds if not thousands or more people who would fit into your soul mate catagory so don't give up hope :)
a famous quote that made me feel better and take a different look on the world said:
"love is the illusion of perfection portrayed upon another person, when that person leaves the fantasy ends and with it love dies"
it made me think about how artificial and fickle "love" is and what I should really be looking for when finding my soul mate :)
1. Relationships begin when two people are attracted to each other enough for one person to put themselves out there and make a move.
2. This "lust" transitions into like, and then into love, as the relationship progresses and as the two people get to know each other in a deeper way.
3. You probably have not gotten to this point because girls can sense that you are bitter and perhaps a tad bit desperate, not because of your good or bad looks. Trust me, girls can smell bitterness from a mile away.
I don't believe that everyone has a soulmate or one true love, but I do believe that there are many people out there whom you could love and be happy spending your life with. You need to work on being more optimistic and approachable so maybe girls will stop writing you off.
I can't get a relationship to start though. I am not the best looking guy and I am very extremely shy. I mean I seriously believe girls only care about looks.
Well I'm pretty sure you have a lot of girls answering your question here and reassuring you that looks are not all that we care about. Girls are much more likely to "date down" in the looks department than boys are.
You may not be the most attractive guy out there, but you need to find a way to work with what you have. Get in shape, dress well, shave, development a stronger sense of self, be independent, and most importantly, BE CONFIDENT.
Thanks, how can a guy develop confidence.
Well, first you have to be honest with yourself. Take stock of your skills, passions, education. Think about what you have to offer a girl that the next guy might not. Draw on the basics to build up your self-esteem.
Next, think about how you can develop these passions and better yourself. This is partly so you'll be more interesting and unique to prospective dates, but also for your own good. It's important to be happy with yourself and independent before you go looking for a girl.
Why is it so hard to be confident and not shy though.
I personally couldn't tell you since I've always been outgoing and confident to a fault.
I think it's because at some point along the way, you decided that because you weren't the handsomest guy around, that you weren't worth making the effort for. You felt more comfortable blending into the background than standing out. Over the years, you've gotten used to this, given up on yourself, and claimed your spot as a "victim."
Fortunately, you can still change. It'll take work, but it's doable
You don't know love unless you have loved.
Being in love is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I fell in love four years and 25 days ago. Before I fell in love, I felt like my life was worthless. I had self-esteem issues and I was depressed. Then, came into my life.
I had known him since I was born. He was 2 1/2 years older than me and he was (and still is) my all. He treated me like I was an angel. It was great. Well I waited until January of this year to tell him. And we started gonig out the next day. Well, we had some complications with the family. They couldn't keep us apart though. We started going back out and tomorrow is our one month. One of many. We're so close that we're determined to stick it out until the end.
Don't give up on love. There is someone for everyone! You just have to do what you feel is right. You're still young. Don't worry.
I just have been hurt so many times I really feel like girls won't ever like me.
I've been hurt to. But you just have to have hope. Everyone gets rejected and hurt. It's life.
You are just saying that because it has never happened to you. Of coarse if you never felt something before you woulden't believe it exsists. Yes, some love starts out as lust, but even if you believe you are ugly someone somewhere will be attracted to you, and not nessacerily because of lust at first sight. It has been PROVEN that love exsists by scientists examining the way our brains work. If you ever fall in love, you will know what love truley is. Love is beyond lust, because if love was based on lust, then people would start breaking up once they lost there looks. As soon as someone got a wrinkle the other person would leave witch is not true. There are MANY people who have been together there whole lives and didn't just stick with there partners through and thin because they were hot, It's because they LOVED them. Hope you fall in love someday so you know why what your saying is so wrong.
I have been married for 7 years, I have 2 kids and 1 on the way. I can tell you love is definitely real. But love isn't just a feeling, love is also a verb, and it is an ability and a capacity. You are right that lust is often mistaken for love, but love is real, and it is independent from lust. With lust your focus is to get something from the object of your lust. With love your focus is to give something to the object of your love. You want to make her life better because she makes your life better just for being in it.
Just because you ent found anyone with your miserable, depressed outlook on life doesn't mean love don't exist. Ever been to Antarctica? No? But it's there right?
Now I'll be nice.
Sort it out mate, smile, chat to people and you'll find someone, its that easy. I say that... SOmetimes it is, but yh, just be nice and bit more upbeatthan you presently seem.
Also,
Lust is driven by gender specific chemicals : Testosterone and Estrogen,
Love is Oxytocin,
so ur wrong, they ent the same... Oxytocin is a natural high, hardly gna last for 60 years. Its an opiot however you spell it (like heroin)
That's why people in love can still want to have sex with other ppl. Diff chemicals at work
I've been in love before, I've loved three men because of who they are on the inside, and not how they look on the outside. PHysical attract exists, but for me, spiritual attraction is 2-5x stronger than physical attraction... the reason spiritual attraction is so hard to find is that you have to work your ass off to find it, physical attration is instantaneous and requires no effort on your part, you are born with the genes to be physically attracted to good looking people but spiritual attraciton requires a lot of struggle, toil, hard work, self sacrifice, and suffering both on your part and on the part of the person you are attracted to, in order for the two pieces to fit together.
Love is a choice, not and emotion -- so love is real. and I would soppose I am naive enough to believe so because I don't believe the lies that society says are true to distroy my love for others and for the love others give me.
Love and lust are two different things. and I don't understand how you a disillusioned enough to believe that they are one in the same. How can you say a mother's love for a child - is really lust - or sister to a brother? people who are just friends even love each -- stop letting people tell you that sex is love -- because it most definately is not.
I disaggree with ya man. Love esists because there is certain things that somone will do for another person that they wouldn't do for someone they love. One thing I do question is if love can last forever because it truly seems that with so many divorce that it is rare for it to last that long. As for you saying that you are not that attractive, there are plenty of mixes and matches. I don't know what you look like but I'll tell you this, I have seen sum dimes with 4's and I even heard on the radio that some hot girls look for guys who are not as attractive but guys are less likely to do that.
Lust is pretty much a crush its wen you just think about them a lot and want them.
Love is when you can be with some and see through all there faults and still want to be with them, be pleasured by the slightest things they do in a non sexual way. when you can honestly say you do lust for them but you couldn't be with out them. It just happens its not something you can force.
Good luck in the girlfriend department but remember girls don't really like pessimists. try to be up beat around girls and you may get a girlfriend
I believe in love because I think its the closest thing we have to magic yeah that may sound really corny but that's just how I feel...You shouldnt give up on love yet it really doesn't matter about if you are attractive or not...And just let love find you...
But don't girls only base guys one how attractive they are... It sure feels that way to me.
What if we lack confidence though
That does not work really though I have tried that.
Truthfully I don't know what to do at this point.
Ok personally I don't know that there is a true love but I've been fell in love so deep and that feeling just cannot describe by word.It's very strong emotional attachment.That was my first love-no suprise-And when people fell in love and make love that is not called lust, that is a sharing of feeling towards each other which make them feel complete.When after I broke up, fall in love for me is no more but lust yes.Usually I do like have that kind of feeling again but unfortunately it was just temporary but I don't think that was love, for me it was just an infatuation.Love itself is just a feeling, a special feeling but sometimes people just don't know how to appreciate it.Love is special and no wrong,it is pure but people's negative action by treating it badly kill the love and turns it to hatred, revenge and lust.People fall in love in many different ways and love is blind.Its not just based on your looks solely but your heart.
i have never had a boyfriend. but I believe that love is not something you have to go looking for, or even as some people say, just have to wait for. live your life and love will happen for you, just like it happens for a lot of people. it's not naive to believe in love, but it's way more important to believe in yourself. love comes when you least expect it. :)
Are you sure?
That love comes when you least expect it.
Once you find the right person and fall in love you'll see just how real it is. It's a difficult emotion to describe and if you've never felt like that towards another person then I can see why you feel the way you do. We all love different people differently so the love that you have for your parents, friends and relatives is completely different from loving a girlfriend, fiancee or wife. Lust is more primarily used for someone who only wants sex it's nothing like love not even close.
The thing is I have really liked some girls before I mean they seemed like one of the nicest people I know and they just seemed like someone I could like but they did not share the interest. No one ever has, I feel like love is really nothing and it is not real it is as a said before a term to make lust seem more ok.
See you REALLY LIKED them, there's a big difference! I've liked a few guys a lot but nothing compares to the feeling that I had for my ex I really loved him and luckily enough I was able to experience that or I might be in the same position as you.
There is a difference between like, lust and love, now I know that there are people on here that agree with you and honestly the only reason they do is because they haven't found love either and when they do they'll be singing a different song.
Well if love is real, do you realize how sad it is for me that I have not experienced it. I mean I honestly cry sometimes. I want to feel loved.
Everyone wants to feel loved and if they say that they don't then they're lying. Love isn't something that you are going to find with just anyone. I'm sorry that you haven't had the chance to experience it yet but honestly you've got to give yourself some time. It's important for you to love youself first before someone else can, stop focusing on your looks so much, you know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know it might sound corny but it's true, there's someone out there for you.
Are you kidding me? Love is glorious! Of coarse it's real- what would we be without it.
Sure, you could make the argument that humans only think they're in love because they want to be and that it's mainly lust and not real value for the other person's being, but I think that's selling it short.
I want true love, my true love, and thus, I will not settle for less. Sure, it'll be a lot of hit and miss to find him, but if I search for him, surely I'll find him.
You can think you will find love but you really should not you will only get hurt believing in love.
So you're encouraging me to settle for less? It's love- it's not pretty or sunshine all the time, but it's rapturous and captivating. There are worse things than getting hurt- like forgoing love because of fear and cowardice.
I pretty much gave up on love already I know I will be single forever anyways so what's the point.
Well, if you're committed to your loveless state for the rest of your life, then stop bumming out other people. Sure, it's a difference fo opinion, but it seems ot me like you're ragging on love because you want it and don't have it. The trials of have and have-not. Nothing's worse than apathy.
I know there is no such thing as love though, I mean I have felt like I was in love so many times but it was not love.
Then after your recovery time, put yoursefl out there again and go find your true love. Yeah, it's hard, yeah it bites sometimes, but you can't tell me that having your true love wouldn't be woth all of the effort it would take to find them. All of that love in exchange for some tough tribulations? I'll take that deal any day.
I have just been hurt so many times that I really have no reason to believe.
Well then, I can't help you. Either get professional help or suck it up and stop being a pansy. If you don't want love, then you won't find it. Either way, no one wants a whinny annoyance.
Well I don't know what to do but just don't get hurt.
I am sorry but how can you say you will only get hurt believing in love. Exactly how old are you hy the way.
I am 19 and it just seems like every girl I have ever liked has not shared any feelings with me. I really am believe love is not really and the only thing that ever happens if lust there is not love.
oh it exists, you just don't have the kind of love you're looking for, therefore you think it doesn't exist... there's actually many different types of love
romantic love is just one of those ones, that a lot of people struggle with
my best friend thought he was "in love" at the age of 17, only to find out she would cheat on him, breaking up 2 years later...
doesnt mean love doesn't exist, just means you gotta find it, in a true meaning, of every sense of the word
just live. :)
i'm a bio nerd, I know all about love & lust & the scientific explanations. it's not very romantic. you have to feel it yourself. it's not something that can be explained. anyway, going "searching" for love is desperate and unattractive.
Ive been in a relationship for almost two years and I can say that I truly do love him. We do find each other sexually attractive and are sexually active but what couple isnt? Lust is part of love but is kind of a bonus. If youve been hurt and are scared that you won't find anybody then don't worry because there's someone out there for everyone just get some confidence about you and go out more and youl meet someone :)
Those people aren't naive-ive never had a boyfriend but I really believe that love is real. You can't have two people be together for tens of years and say there is no love there. What about the love people feel for their children, what about the love for your parents. You can't say that doesn't exist. I think the people that find true love are very lucky because its the most special thing in the world.
love is very real just its not a fairytale like we think its hard work at times your going to want to kill each other have arguments and not get on but its still love
lust is just attraction love is much more than that its loving that person inside and out
Love is not merely a biological response, sorry to say. There are pheromones involved in that initial attraction and "getting together" phase, but you stay together because there is an attachment. Love is what is left after the lust wears off, personally.
You care for your parents, right? Well, that's love. If you can feel it for them, you can feel it for a significant other. Just in a different way.
And humans aren't the only animals that show the attraction either.
Just because love isn't real for you, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It is real for some people. You just haven't found the right person, or you don't care too because you think you will just lust for her anyways.
The truth is I want to experience love what ever that is. But no girl would ever be interested in me because I am not very good looking and that is all girls care about looks. There is no girl for me I already can tell that. I already gave up on "love" it just is not real. If you think about it honestly you will see that too.
Sorry to be rude but the is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Girls don't care only about looks, at least the ones who are worth falling in love with don't. I could care less what a guy looks like, both people I have been in love with aren't the most attractive but to me they are because I love them. You are just finding the wrong girls. And if you can't find one that likes you for you then maybe it is you who is too into the looks.
I don't care about looks though, girls just don't like me. I am a very shy guy and all I want is someone to like me but it does not seem possible. I am a nice guy and all. Just trust me love is not real, I know I am lonely and all but it really won't matter if I have a relationship because the girl would not love me anyways.
I think you're being ridiculous. But even if you are right that nobody would ever love you, that doesn't mean love doesn't exist. Just because it doesn't exist for you doesn't mean it doesn't exist. That's like a homeless man saying people are naive for believing in a roof over there head when it just doesn't exist, it does exist, just not for him.
I probably am but the thing is I have never felt accepted girl don't even give me a chance.
Well you are trying with the wrong girl then. I am not saying it will be easy but someone out there will like you for you.
Because it's in da rule book. You must believe in love. You must believe in god. You must want all the same things that everyone else wants. You must eat all your vegetables, peas and Brussels sprouts included. If you don't follow these simple rules then clearly there is something wrong with you, or perhaps you just haven't met the right girl yet, but when you do you'll love each other-- I know it! It's in Da Rules...
love is VERY real. I love my parents and they LOVE me and they would even give their life for me. Tell me that's not LOVE! I think you are barking up the wrong tree or need to look up the definition of it again.
love is real. its every where but you haven't found the right person. once you see your "soulmate" you will know her. you guys will feel a click. and then you can experience love. it is out there but you have to find it.
I am a butt ugly guy, but I think I have experienced love, or something close, I barely knew a girl but once we started talking I had a feeling unlike lust or friendship, and the feeling was mutual, which I am happy about!
...maybe love doesn't exist for you yet. it doesn't mean it's not real for everyone else though.
Trust we love is not real don't get yourself hurt believing in love because it is not real.
You just said yourself that you've never had a girlfriend. so how the hell would you know. do you think molecules don't exist just because you can't see them? do you say indonesia isn't real because you haven't been there? if you haven't experienced love, then you don't know what it is and you have no right to deny its existence.
You wouldn't under stand if every hated you as they hate me you would realize love was not real. I am a nice guy but people just hate me. I am so lonely trust me I know love is not real.
Then the only thing that could possibly prove is that love doesn't exist for YOU, it says nothing about everyone else. and you can be a nice guy, but have a really sucky attitude about life which makes people not enjoy your company. your looks might be a hindrance, but it's not the cause of all your problems.
People don't dislike or hate because of the way someone looks. you have to make them hate you. unattractive hate. I don't think people hate you as much as you say unless you're a bitter ass hole. but if you're as nice as you claim, and you hate yourself, you would definitely THINK that people despise you.
cuz it is
i mean don't you love ur parents
or a dog
or even a type of food lols
etc :]
and there is you just have to work hard at it :]
and you don't have to b acttractive to get a girlfriend
its all about attitude :]
and lust is okay lols
I don't think comparing love of food and animals rele compares here but w/e
pity party. STOP! love is real. don't pretend that its not and mope around thinking 'poor me...' real love is worth the work. but you won't find it with that attitude...
Love is definitely real. It just takes a lot more work than most people are willing to put forth. For those who do go through with it, the rewards are forever.
Love is real but it doesn't last most of the time because the couple doesn't try or loses the desire to make it work, love is hard you have to work to keep that spark.
most people experiance lust..i htink love is real...but VERY hard to achive...and you must know the person inside and out...this you can really love them...not this 1 month HS sh*t...
Love is real my friend. you can't tell it unless you are in love. even I belived it ws a joke . but I'll tell you once you are in love. its the best thing that will ever happen to you.
Im with you on this, I'm personally not bitter or anything, But I think the idea of love is like moulded into our brains, And so we just accept it.
love is real.. I know it is.. there is a difference between lust and love... lust.. its about the physical connection..love.. its so much more.. you can't describe.. does sound cheesy but you will feel it..
Trust the love songs, stories, and poems that have been written throughout history. Do you really think they are all describing fake feelings or lust? I think you'll fall in love one day, and then you'll understand.
Love does exist. Love just may not exist in your life. But for others, love exists.
i don't think it called bein naive its more like havin hope that one day you'll find that right person and you don't want to give up...no matter how much you get hurt.
Girls are impossible to talk to.
lust may just be the beginning but the two people have to be in the same boat sort of, they have to be able to relate to one another.
How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
I am 20
Okay well we are both in our twenties,
I didn't felt loved until I was 21. ...and you are 20..u still have a whole life to look for someone and
maybe the right time hasn't come yet.
I was single for about 5 years until I recently met my ex (we dated for a few months) ratter short but the passion and the emotions were all packed in these few months
so don't doubt yourself :)
Trust me though, I would have felt love by now if it were real. No one will ever love me I can tell.
...I don't want to say anything offensive
but what makes you think No one will ever love u?
do you have a kind heart?
are you evil?
I am a nice guy and all but people just think I am a loser and stuff.
Well, Do you go to school? work? Are you productive in your life?
does it matter what people think of u?
as long as you don't think you are a looser. right?
well if you want want to vent or want any talk session you are welcome to save me as a friend.
I think I'm a nice person and I love to help people so yeah..
thank positive! :D
Love is real it is just extremely rare.
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