My boyfriend said i'm not the best he's ever had. Do you think it is bad?

[hellno]

First of all, I wanna say that hearing that is my fault because I insisted. But I think I insisted to hear good things about me.. however it backfired. I ask him if our chemistry and things on the bed are good enough he said it is very good bla bla bla and then I asked him if I am the best. He said he doesn't want to compare me with others but I kept asking in a flirty way and he said I am not the best. After that I asked who is the best he had ever but he said he doesn't want to open up about things which are in history but now I feel like he keeps thinking about her because I am not good enough. Do you think not being the best is bad?

[OlderAndWiser]

Of course you want to be the best, but. . . the best sex I ever had. . . it was a tie between two different partners. They were both great for different reasons but the sex was excellent. But one of them cheated on me and the other just saw me as someone to be used, and I would not want to reconnect with either of them.

This was a stupid question to ask and you opened a can of worms. You don't need to compete with other women from his past because there are reasons why he is no longer with them and, instead, is with you. Do you really want to know all the intimate details of what some other girl did that he thought was so special? Do you really want to try to pretend to be someone else? Just be an eager participant in sex, enthusiastic, willing to try new things if you are not very experienced, and focus on not just the physical pleasure but also the emotional bonding that occurs when everything works right in the bed.

[on_my_knees]

I've read through the comments and I have to agree that the "best I've ever had" doesn't necessarily mean it was from a person who was good for you. It's just a memory you keep locked away, I don't know, like the time your father punched you in your face. Sure, no one wants their father to punch them in the face, but he probably deserved it, let's get real. It's a strange analogy, sorry, but you know what I mean. That girl who was "the best I ever had," yeah well, she was the best about three guys had that same night. You know what I mean?

[DishLady]

So yeah.. that’s basically the “pandora’s box” question for anyone to ask (guy or girl). If the person is polite, he/she will simply say something similar to what your guy said — not to compare and contrast. No one wants to hear that they’re not the other person’s “best”… so it’s important to note when your partner is being polite and not to push too far bc otherwise we’ll hear stuff we can’t “unhear” about past partners and things that, frankly, are none of our business. You’ll start wondering if every cool thing the person is doing is based on something he/she did with his/her “best”… which isn’t healthy.


Bottom line? The guy is with YOU (and not his so-called best) for a reason…. Be happy….

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

When I first saw the question, my reaction was: 🤬 But when I saw the context, I understood what he meant. Of course, your feelings are valid as the current partner.

But girl, let's face the truth: we may or may not be the best for our partner, and that's okay. Who's the current girlfriend? You! Is he talking with her? No? Then everything's great. 🤩 Don't ask him uncomfortable questions if you're afraid to hear the truth. Insecurity and overthinking will only ruin your relationship with him.

[blunty]

Hearing from your boyfriend that you’re not “the best he’s ever had” can be quite a blow. It’s understandable if you’re feeling hurt, confused, or even a bit insecure about it. The impact of his words can vary widely based on the context—was it said during a heated moment, or as part of a deeper, more reflective conversation about your relationship?

It's crucial to process your own feelings about his statement first. It’s natural to feel upset or rejected, and acknowledging these feelings is an important step before addressing the issue with him.

Once you’re ready, opening up a conversation with your boyfriend about how his words affected you is a good idea. It’s possible he didn’t realize the weight of his words, or maybe he has concerns that he expressed poorly. This conversation is not just about airing your hurt but also understanding where he's coming from.

Furthermore, reflect on the overall dynamics of your relationship. Is this comment an outlier, or is it part of a pattern that suggests deeper issues? Sometimes offhand remarks can reveal more significant undercurrents of dissatisfaction or disconnect that might need addressing.

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[PeachyPie93]

I wouldn't worry about it. The best they had is usually a slut bag that had a bunch of dicks and that is the reason she is "the best". You shouldn't ask those type of questions if you don't want to hear the truth because men will usually always answer truthfully. It really doesn't matter if you are the best are not, all that matters is that they love you.

[K4keeps]

You got honesty and that’s worth more to me than the other chic being better at sex. Main point I would look is him being open and honest. Now go watch some vids on the topic and many other topics on sex and communicate with him if he likes this or that. The more you communicate and interact with each other the better you will get with each other. Just remember you asked a loaded question that got you a hurtful answer but not as hurtful as a lie would had been. But you got the best part from asking and that’s honesty and open communication. I would value and respect that any day over the answer to that question.

[MasterKS]

@K4keeps spot on.

[Anonymous]

I think he's okay with losing you... I mean men don't say that shit to someone they care about or are afraid to lose if that makes sense?
I would talk to him about it & see if he really meant it or is a slip up.. if you find the answer is doubtful, i wouldn't really stick around to be honest.

[sawno]

Its not bad, but you get what you ask for when you have a honest boyfriend. The guy is a keeper for being honest. Just focus on what can make it better for him.

[MsProsperity]

It’s not bad, I’m sure he’s not the best in your history also. Don’t let it get to your head and stop asking about the past, it’ll hunt you

[Kelley1]

Don't be silly. At 18 you had much better choices. However, at you age, you must settle for who will have you or do without.

[JHNS98]

Why would someone say that to their significant other? I would never. But that's more due to my lack of comparisons to make, so to speak.

[Ironic_Method]

You don't gotta be the best at everything to be the best person for someone. My wife isn't the best sex I've ever had by a long shot, but she is absolutely the best person for me.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s bad that he thinks some other girl is better in bed than you

[Carmen96]

What an ass. It’s one thing to think that but you don’t say that to your significant other

[DreamLife7]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 You're weak, insecure, low self esteem 38 with a boyfriend? Girl bye why aren't you married. He don't even like you toughen up

[TacosRAwesome]

It's bad that he needed to tell you not that you're not his best.

[DrPepper12]

"Tell me the truth" okay! Commence regret! This, as you realize, is all on you. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Yes but you asked. That's what happens when you date someone with an ample history.

[bobby_bush_eater]

It doesn't matter. You asked you got honesty in return. That's that

[Pterodon]

It’s not bad. There’s usually extenuating circumstances why we’re no longer with the best

[justabuddy]

Sounds like you two may just need more practice with each other.

[RedInnocent69]

Who would say that? Leave him.

[driven159]

then communicate and be the best

[Anonymous]

That’s an insult

[jahaims]

Nope

[impalabill77]

I would think itis.