boyfriend said sex with one of his ex’s was the best he’s ever had?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years, and at first, the sex was kind of awkward (we had met each other through a dating app, so there wasn’t that same genuine developing of feelings like he’s had with his previous exes. They were all friends at first). Anyways, through the time of knowing each other, the sex has gotten a lot better and he tells me all the time how he enjoys I️t. He even mentioned how the sex with me is probably the best he’s had. That is, until he mentioned one of his exes from when he was younger. He said “sex the first few times isn’t that good... well, except with my one ex. The first time we had it, I️t was really, really good. Probably the best. But, we did a lot of stuff leading up to sex for a few months before we actually had it). For some reason, even though he tells me the sex he has now with me is the best ever, I️ still feel insecure that he mentioned how good the sex with that one ex was (maybe because they were friends for so long, they developed a closeness and openness sexually?) I️ don’t really know. I️ mean, with my ex, the first time we had sex I️t was really good (I️t didn’t have that awkwardness that sex usually does the first time). My ex was also probably the best that I’ve had. But all people I️Ve has sex with, I️ e enjoyed I️t. My boyfriend asked me if he was the best, and I️ said he was. But, he said he didn’t believe me. With my boyfriend now, the emotional aspect makes I️t so good for me, but physically? My ex was better - we both enjoyed the same kind of sex (kind of rough). But, I️ just wouldn’t tell me boyfriend anyone else was better, or the first time i had sex with my ex I️t was mind blowing.

My boyfriend says it’s the best with me, but, what if that’s only because we don’t need to use condoms? How can I️ stop feeling insecure and jealous about his ex? :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So you're feeling insecure about you maybe not being the best he's had when you openly admit that he isn't the best you've had? Lol, you know how hypocritical that is. Instead of focusing on things that you can't change, why not just focus on the relationship and continually making it more meaningful. You are wasting energy on pointless bullshit that just doesn't matter. You can't be the best at everything, sex included. To assume that you should be just because it validates your ego is ridiculous and it is entirely not the point of being in a relationship with someone.

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    • I never told him my ex was the best. Why would anyone else say that to someone?

    • You didn't tell him but you still know it to be true and so you are guilty of the same thing that is making you jealous.

    • also he didn't tell you his ex was the best. he just said he enjoyed his 1st time with her a lot.

      but he said sex with you was the best he probably had till now.

      I see someone misinterpreting things here.

Most Helpful Girl

  • OMG you guys stop overthinking and comparing exes...

    So what? He said he had better sex with a girl at the 1st try... boohoo. Sex isn't always 100% perfect. Depends on the conditions... It just happened that they had that chemistry quicker or the stars were more aligned, whatever... Now he tells you guys have become quite good at sex right? It should be good enough.

    Also, you are lying to him about your ex... so it isn't like you can really feel bad for him telling you the truth when asked.

    Just do you love him? Does he love you? If so then fuck all the other shit and just enjoy each other. Geez.

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    • and sometimes some questions are just better not asked.

      but remember you are living in the now. Is he now with one of his exes? No. Here you have your answer.

    • also at times sex is normal and others is wonderful, with the same person. Just focus on pleasing each other and having a good time.

      Of course sex with a stranger at 1st is awkward. If with someone you know it already is...

    • if you werent the one to ask him this, and if he was the one to share it out of the blue without being asked, with you... then i think it is time to ask him to share a bit less about his past with you, since it hurts your feelings and it is kind of a turn off to talk about exes.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • give him bj if you dont hate that stuff, that might change his mind i guess
    (im virgin as a newborn yelling bush did 9/11 so my advice doesn't count)

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    • He has told me that our sex is probably the best he’s ever had. But, I️ know sex with his ex was something he really enjoyed lol. Omg, the images 😧

    • dont imagine it, jelousy isn't made to make you feel bad and mad its therw to make you DO BETTER AND GO HARDER

  • You can't. You shoukd never date a person who has had sex before unless you have to

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  • This is what you get when you've both been around the block so many times. Sex is treated very cheaply in this culture so I'm not sure what you expect.

    All of this is just another sign of ego dominance really, the meeting of two minds. The sad thing is most people haven't had sex at all, because they haven't connected on a deep level.

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    • I’ve only had sex with people I’ve connected on a deep level with. Actually, I️ don’t treat sex like a cheap way to pass time. Don’t be so quick to judge people :)

    • That's just the thing though, what most of us see as connecting on a deep level is very rarely the case because so often it's just minds connecting and ego. Everything you've mentioned in this take that your boyfriend said, comes from the ego.

      Deep connections that do not involve ego, do not involve arguments or comparing of each others sexual ability, it transcends all of that...

    • The sad thing is that so many of us that think we've been in love, have never been but we don't realize because it's being interpreted by our ego, and filtered through their. I remember a woman that realized this and she said it was like a slap in the face of her entire reality.

What Girls Said 3

  • You're the one dating him now. this ex is an ex she doesn't matter like you do to him. think positively and be confident that you are the one he chose and the one he's in a relationship. goodluck!

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  • i have the same problem with my boyfriend but never had sex with him i smack him and tell him go away

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    • How don’t you feel insecure?

    • i do he keep saying how the fuck was good and how the way she liked this missionary and i just here feeling bad cause im a virgin so now i don't trust him with my virginity because i feel like i won't be somethiing he won't like and i be bad at

  • This is why you shouldn’t talk about your past.

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    • I don’t know why he likes to share his past so much. I’ve already known he enjoyed sex with that ex. I️ just wouldn’t tell someone that I’m dating that my ex was the best lol?

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