Story Time: How Verbal Abuse and Bullying Have Affected Me

Okay, so before I start, I just want you to let you know that this story is 100% real; I am not and attention whore looking for compassion and empathy. I just feeling like sharing a friend's story and I want to spread awareness of what bullying can do and how it can leave deep scars.

Thank you.

Story Time: How Verbal Abuse and Bullying Have Affected Me

Here's some background information:

My friend was born on February 2, 2001. She has a twin. Her mom works as a nurse and her dad is a telemarketer. Her dad was married earlier and has sons aged 39 and 29 with their own families. His first wife died from cancer.

I will change the name so I'll call my friend Elina; Elina I have been in the same class for 9 years now.

Her Story

She was born into a middleclass family with her twin who I call Alexandra in this story. Her life was fine till the age 7. She and her family owned (and still do) a camper van and they traveled across Europe to Italy. She has sent me many cards :) She was happy.

She turned 7 and went to school. I met her and we grew close very quickly. In second grade I noticed some of our classmates starting to bully her. We told the teachers so it stopped...for a moment. In third grade, the bullying got worse. She was called names and pushed. In 4th grade she was beaten by 3 guys from our class. She simply stood up for herself when it happened. She had noticed what was going on in her family. She noticed how sad her mom was. Her dad was always drunk. So it logically meant yelling. And lots of fights.

Many times they would take it out on Elina, and she accepted it, but she wanted to protect Alexandra, since she was the older of the two. She started reading tons of books. Maybe that's why the guys always picked on her. The girls did too. She was a major Harry Potter fan and she felt relieved to read and let her sadness go. It got worse in 5th grade, though. Her parents were both drinking heavily, and all Elina's friends including me were bullied. Elina was trying to fit in. In 6th grade she realized that she would never ever fit in with the class.

Story Time: How Verbal Abuse and Bullying Have Affected Me

When we went to 7th grade to a different school, the bullies were all there. Everyone from our school went there automatically for grades 7 - 9 because it was the nearest school. I noticed how sad she was. The bullying stopped when we went to the principal but we still didn't fit in. She had started to cut herself even if she covered it well. Her parents were worse then ever. So when her annoying friend complained to her that she wasn't being nice to her, even though she was, she dragged her to a school therapist...and Elina told the therapist everything, including how she had tried to commit suicide and wanted to die so bad.

A B1 file was made about her. It means that she was in life-threatening danger and should have been taken to a hospital by ambulance. But her mom was quicker. She was then taken to the hospital and from there to this hospital ward for suicidal teens. I remember it was a Monday in April 2015. She was there for the night; she told me she had to get blood tests to see that she hadn't used any drugs. She had been contacted by the government's child welfare earlier, but they didn't think it was "important". But now they took notice and she met two child welfare workers (both women) in school with the school nurse and therapist.

A month went and a child welfare report was made of her. More than 3 times. She told me she had been fighting with her parents a lot recently. Then it was the last week of school and on Thursday evening, she had a mature fight with her parents. She had a panic and anxiety attack and started to panic. She told me she couldn't breathe so she ran. She packed few clothes as fast as she could. She rang me and she was so damn scared that her parents would come after her. My dad picked her up from our school.

Story Time: How Verbal Abuse and Bullying Have Affected Me

Next day she was picked up from school and taken by the child welfare people. She packed up her things and went with her sister. They lived with other teens for 2 months; the whole summer. They couldn't live with their parents. Her parents became depressed and stopped drinking. For a while... she got home and 8th grade started. One of her bullies told everyone what had happened with her parents, so she started cutting again. She attempted several suicides and she started to visit a psychiatric clinic for teens during the summer. She still goes there. She's got some heavy meds to try to ease her anxiety. She also told her teachers about her past and they are understanding. Thank God.

But she was bullied again. Every time when she argued with her parents they would bring up how she had destroyed the family.

Time lapse to May 2016. She started dating this guy. But it turned out he was abusive; he would hit her and tell her she was worthless, and so did her parents. She was close to committing suicide again, even though she had been clean from cutting since February 5th. She eventually broke up with that asshole.

Her summer went fairly well, though she was sexually harassed by 60 - 70 year old man, which left scars. She also cut again at the end of the summer, but I helped her to get over it.

Now she is doing a bit better I suppose. She is still on heavy meds but she'll be fine. Her parents still drink and abuse her verbally. There are 15 child welfare reports made of her and that's a lot.

Now there was my friend's story.

Story Time: How Verbal Abuse and Bullying Have Affected Me

She has been through some shitty stuff, aye?

Well. One thing I have to tell you. That girl...Elina. Is really me. I wanted you to know the story before telling the person whose story it is, it's me.

Thank you if you read this far. I just needed to let it out. Also, I am not accusing any member mentioned here. They are or at least were friends of mine in here, whom I wish would know my story. None of them have ever bullied me and I love them.

@Paris13 @B4TM4N @RJGraveyTrain @RainbowFanGirl @Triss I would wish that these people at least would see this.

Love, Isela 💙 #storytime

Story Time: How Verbal Abuse and Bullying Have Affected Me
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Brokenheartedx

    You say you had an abusive boyfriend... why do you think this guy was abusivr to you? When someone is a victim of bullying or their parents are picking on them it leaves mark and narcissists and sociopaths can see it as a flashin light a mile off. and the pattern repeats all through life because you aren't giving yourself time to heal.. no more boys until you have left school And got to a happier stage in your life. You will see clearer when you get older.

    I was bullied at school too and my dad battered me as a kid, happiest day of my life was my dad walking out. But wounds didn't heal I just drifted from one abusive man to another and my head is fucked, I see all men as enemies and perverts out to get what they can and then leave. That's why I'm telling you to stay single and get your life back on track- otherwise you become victim all your life like me.

    School will end, these people who are equally unhappy with their lives that's why they make yours a misery by the way to make them feel better will become nobodies, druggies or alkies or a sick twist of karma their own kids get bullied. You remember these people will never pay your bills.

    Your family need to take responsibility for their actions,. i think they are ashamed of themselves I'm positive they are.. they are angry at theirselves.. Again if they continue I suggest you cut them out... you should start being a bit selfish, think of yourself and remove anyone that causes a negative impact in your pursuit of happiness.

    Keep reading it's a sign of intelligence. Do well in life is the best revenge on bullies

    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • SlightlyCrazy

    Thank you for sharing that. Anyone would be truly blessed to have a friend so dedicated to stand bye them through their trials and tribulations. A fact I'm sure she knows. But most importent my this story is a window into all too often story of the trouble so many must face as unprepared and equipt parents raze their child's futures along with their own. Such a struggle is an awful reality no one should ever face. My own struggles I can relate but I would be disgenuine to say I know such sufferings. Thank you for sharing, thank you for being a angel of a human being. For all who read and feel these words of here upon your heart, make a difference and be that friend. If you know this pain get help. It'd never too late and there is love for you out there.

    Is this still revelant?
    • I am not sure but hopefully you realized that the story is actually all about me, it was just much easier for me to write about it... because it really is hard to admit that your own family is the worst right?

    • Oh my god... I didn't😞 I'm sorry. Isela your a wonderful human being. I say that with no motive other to express my appreciation and pride at calling you my friend. I've seen some shit too hon.. Not as bad you. You can always message me ❤️

    • It's okay, it was a long text somebody would obliviously miss that part ❤ thank you

What Girls & Guys Said

  • @Finnishbeauty I just now saw this, and for over a year and more, I have always been HERE for you, Replied to ALL of your Replies when Kindly Invited to Whatever Artwork and Whatever Picture you would Invite me to see Here, dear. Never ONCE, and May I Make this Clear Here, dear, have I ever Used or Abused you, so I am Confused as to WHY my own Name is on the Top of the List.
    In Order to have friends, in order to Keep friends, please, Cherish the ones WHO have been Here for you. I am very hurt to see this My Take and that I had to Go into the News Feed Section Here, dear, to see my own Good Name way at the top.
    On my own end and In my own Defense, I never Dissd you. You never even Message me, so what did I ever do to you? I had asked you a few weeks back, waiting for a reply on something similar you had also "Advertised" with this, but you never answered. I Unfollowed you, for that is No friend, one who "Denies" another friend. You and your sister were Friends, Not Follower/Following to me.
    You and I, even your sister who is here on GAG, would always Mention One another with Compliments.
    @RicanEyes is my Closest Friend and family. I shall "Invite" her Here to Discuss this issue. Anyone, hun, who Knows me, Knows this is unfair.
    I think you have the wrong Paris13, You mean "Paris14." And I don't know who She is.

    • @FinnisBeautyGirl Please do not put me in this category of people who have dissed you. I can Only speak for myself, and with nothing to hide, I am here with no guilt.
      I am confused as to what would I have done when we never message and I always have catered to every question you ask, have even told YOU and your sister, to for it, go for Art careers?

    • RicanEyes

      Hi Cousin @Paris13 and @asker it is a very sad story. I will give you credit for saying your story. My life was hard as well never did share it here some things are better this way. But I tell you as I tell myself what doesn't break you only makes you stronger.

    • Show All
  • Kit_Kat88

    Your story sounds so similar to a former close guy friend of mine back in high school, I totally sympathize with you. Its awful how bullies and substance abuse affects lives. You're so strong to pass through all of that, it makes me hopeful in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I would love to get to know and talk to you if you'd like, I'm Katherine <3. You are awesome by the way :)

  • Saoirse_Nua

    Thank you for sharing - I kinda guessed before the end by the end - I hope things work out for you - If you are ever in need of someone to talk to, we are here in GaG - Also if you ever feel like talking, you can PM me anytime.

  • NemeCateEris

    ♡You're so loved, my dear sister. Remember all wonderful memories in Italy, time with your friends and also family. I know it's hard. But you can shine bright and even now you shine to me, bring happiness to my life.♥

  • Unit1

    Aye, that's shitty stuff indeed.

    Bullying is a serious issue, that isn't enough times addressed. Me following a few of what you've been through can relate to everything. But if there is something I learned, harming yourself doesn't make things easier but instead I try to protect myself and avoid overly emotional situations and conflicts and distance myself from these. It makes at least things somewhat more bearable for the time being and I would call that something like "breathing room".

    I see, that stories like yours aren't uncommon and with this one, I realized, that this kind of raising children has become a norm these times - not, that it is a normal thing to do, no, it is very far from it.

    But the best thing anyone can do in these kind of situations is to separate, taking care of one's own self and by opportunity being in charge of it's own life.
    For being under the influence of parents, the rule will remain "Protect yourself!". Minimize the incoming damage from all sources as much as possible.

    • Yeah, I now protect myself. But there were times when I just wanted everything to end

    • Unit1

      Me too and I'm still on it. Of course talking in detail about it here will result in my opinion being removed with me being mailed international-suicide-prevention-line, that doesn't work in my country... pfft.

    • Yeah same

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  • castratedwhiteguy

    You seem like a wonderful person. However, your family situation seems dysfunctional. Maybe you could move in with relatives and get a fresh start in a different school?

    Just remember that the kids who are bulling you now are the real losers because that kind of heartless and abusive behavior, if continued, will come back on them to ruin their lives later in life. You're a better person than they are and you need to remember that

    Just keep in mind that when you graduate high school your life will improve dramatically simply because you'll get to choose the quality of people who you associate with. Just for that reason alone, you shouldn't even consider suicide. Life gets much better once you graduate from the high school super max. I say this because I was bullied when I was in school, so I know where you're coming from. For a 15 year old girl, you have written a very mature and intelligent My Take here. Understand, your quality of life will improve sooner than you think. So don't let the idiots drag you down. Hope this helps...

    • I know that when I graduate my life will be thousand times better. I can't move in with my relatives. My mom's side lives in the North and I couldn't be there. I just can't. And I don't even know my relatives from father's side. So I'm stuck here

  • coolbreeze

    Good mytake. Im sorry to hear that all this has happened to you. :( Im glad your strong. You didn't deserve all of that bad stuff that came your way. People who done bad to you will get theirs one day. What goes around comes around.

  • Primemutton

    i hope you can get through to an age where you can make a clean break from all of this, e. g. employment , living elsewhere, university. bullying is less prevalent in adult life but i dont think im qualified to give any thorough advice. kind of makes my problems of not knowing my arse from my elbow when it comes to dating pale into insignificance, maybe we take for granted being brought up in a stable atmosphere. one thing i would do is urge you to battle through it. life has so many wonderful surprises waiting for you , dont cut it short you may find in ten years time you are having a wonderful time with a loving partner and great friends. I've been through challenging emotional times, ok not as bad as this but things have turned out really well for me and life is now treating me well. im sure it will to you given time.

  • B4TM4N

    I'm really sorry :( life sucks. Thank you for sharing, now I know all the shit you have been through. And I know... Life completely sucks major dick (sorry for my language). I thought I have been through a lot but it doesn't compare to yours. Just look at the bright side of life and be grateful for the little things :) now I haven't really experienced depression, so I don't know how to deal with that. But be strong! Be proud! Don't give up! You're a strong girl, anyone here would agree. Like my 'motto' says: "YOU CAN'T FUCKING STOP ME!"

    you're amazing I hope you realize that 💜 ily Isela 😊 don't give up!

  • capturemyheartnow

    It's a very sad story. I can only suggest that you pursue a good education and establish yourself well in life first and start earning well. Only then you can think about relationship. because you have been hurt too many times before. i wish you well in life.

  • Triss

    Omg girl I am shocked. I swear
    I never noticed that. You seemed pretty chill and confident and I am here to tell that you can talk to me whenever you want. Whenever you need something just ask for my kik or we can talk here
    I offer you my help with what I can do ❤💋

  • kespethdude

    In all seriousness, keep putting up the good fight. Don't let ANYONE bring you down.

  • OrdinaryGentleman

    First off Isela, thank you for sharing. You can call me conner.
    I feel for your friend, I do.
    Have you been able to maintain being a crutch for you friend or has being that shoulder affected you as well?

  • ebbyeb

    I'm speechless. This was just, a really hard story to read for me, I've been through similar stuff, but not quite that, not even close to that bad... Partly because I'm not open about it and keep all the hate and pain inside. Nobody should have to deal with any of that, not even 1%. I'm really glad that you're so strong and have stuck with this the whole way! I mean, yeah, you know how it sucks more than I could ever say it, but yeah, I don't even know you, but I feel connected to you, you know? But hey if you need to vent or get it out ever feel free to PM me on here ☺️ I'll always be here to help! ❤️

  • NyomiMcClinton

    Wow this is so much for someone so young to go through. I am sorry that you had to go through this. Your escape is school and working. Please do well in school so you can find a decent job where you can live comfortably. Its buillies even as adults but it tends to not be as worse as school age kids. I have been bullied for being tall and darkskin. And it dids make you afraid and you find yourself doubting even after highschool if your attractive or not. But let me tell you, you have to find beauty in yourself. And do this by telling yourself your beautiful, doing things to gives that gives you peace and noticing that you may have flaws or things that others may not like about you. But thats there problem not yours.

  • The_Game_

    I wrote all of this story... but you know? you are really lucky girl... you know why? because you live in Finland... maybe you never aware this situation...
    and thank you...

  • Righttobeararms83

    I was in a similar position but once I got physically aggressive and stood my ground the bullying stopped.

    • Okay, good thing that you did

    • The kid that used to bully me the most well once I grew a bit and beat his ass down I bullied him for the rest of school as a warning to others. God school was brutal, like prison.

    • Yeah I know, I'm still in that prison

  • blutwolfe

    well if this is real, I come from a somewhat similar background, grew up homeless/on the move, my mom was a hooker, my dad was in the navy, they never got along

    typical got beaten every day, starved, you're a mistake, etc etc

    fast forward to today try not to think about it so only being vague

    I shared this childhood with my sister, she is so damaged from it she's been back and forth to the hospital all year (family finally broke up a few years ago, she lives with her boyfriend now), and she's sterile aswell

    On my end I pretty much have no real friends/gf, each day that passes I start caring less and less what happens with my life, I'm practically never sober

    well hope it comforts you in some odd way you're not alone

  • sweetshyguy

    Aww finnish girl you are a creature of God and that makes you WONDERFUL! just like me, that's all you need to remember.

  • mits777

    I am really sorry for you and wish you to be strong because good things will come to those who never give up. I can only say this: if someone bullies my children (when I will have) my little cousins or anyone that I care of I fucking kill them. When I was a child I used to get into fights only because I protected the people who were bullied. I was like the strongest guy in school because I was athlete since an young age and no one messed with me, but any time I saw a group of guys abousing another guy or girl I always stopped them and this got me into a lot of fights. I have also some scars in body and big one in head (long stories lol). I will never suggest anyone to take medicines or other things for depression or anxiety because they have side effects in your health too. I have been through hell in my life way worse then your story and my only medicine was my mind and will.

    • Triss

      Tipik shqiptar 😂
      Kshtu Kam vellain dhe eshte nje nder arsyet kryesore se pse nuk me Kane tallur asnjehere.
      Eshte gje e mire te kesh dike qe te mbron👍

    • mits777

      @Triss haha :D. Tipik Shqiptar I mire do thoja se eshte dhe krahu tjeter I shqiptarit ai qe I bie ne qafe te dobtit (cunave dobet dhe vajzave kot me koti). Une kam cun I pavarur dhe shum I respektuar gjithmon per shkak e te fizikut e arritjeve sportive, po qe shoku im I ngusht ish trupvogel e e ngacmonin shume. Edhe ndonje ne klas po ta ngacmonin kot hidhesha gjithmon e mbroja se jam shum zemer mire nuk duroj dot padrejtesite, sa her per tjeret jam future se me mua smerrej njeri gjith boss njisho me thrisnin lol.

    • Triss

      hahahahaah kuku per ne s'kemi asnje kshu tipi ne klas ne. vec ashu llasticesh pasanike qe vec rrine e flasin.

    • Show All
  • MissSakura

    sad one

  • Adigelunar

    sad one

  • helloitsmethere

    Thank you so much for sharing!

  • Pilulu

    You need a hug. :)

  • Anonymous

    I know someone in a similar position :(
    you're so young for this though. Life really isn't fair to some people. I hope it gets better.

  • Anonymous

    I'm so proud of you for being here today and having survived all of that. Honestly, it reminded me a lot of myself... especially when I was molested by my stepfather twice when I was a little girl. This world can be so cruel, it's sickening. I still believe in some good in the world though. Always be yourself, and always be sweet. <3

  • Anonymous

    Another teenage fairy tale.

    • You could have said it without being anonymous

    • Anonymous

      I couldnt because I have blocked you.

    • Well okay

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    Sounds like the teenage life for most people where I live

  • Anonymous

    Good luck girl! Stay strong! Just focus on school, get out to uni and start a new life for yourself!

  • Anonymous

    OMG... im sooo sry about what happend to you... You can make it... You life is worth more than all those people who were mean to you, bargained for... You will always be you and you are a really talented writer, from what i read